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I'm a dumb*** Call me Mr. relapse. What to expect?

I had 45 to 50 days clean under my belt until in mid August an old "friend" from college shows up and we party and he has a bottle of hydro and I can't or don't want to say no. He also has something I have never done. He has a bottle of oxycotin 80mg. So for about 3 weeks I take about 40 hydro 10mg and snort 10 Oxy's and he leaves and my world has crashed down on my head as I think what in the hell were you thinking. I had nothing to prove to this guy. I thought a few days of partying would'nt hurt but now I am sitting here in withdrawels again. Yesterday I took the last hydro I had and went to see a Dr who gave me some Clonidine and said maybe this time it won't be as bad. Last time was a ***** after quitting 15 10mg hydro a day for 5 years. I felt WD's for almost 10 to 12 days. I don't have that kind of time. What does anyone think with experience about what I am looking at as for WD's again. IB Klean always says so you quit, now what? I left the forum and stopped going to NA and look what it got me. Today is day 1 of starting over. Any ideas about what to expect are appreciated
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401095 tn?1351391770
"and now what?"   great phrase by IBK....u gotta look back and find the mistakes u made and correct them this time...so u quit posting?  mistake most make..i have been on this forum since jan of 08/it helps...and u did without any aftercare like meetings...we are all gun-ho in the beginning//then our enthusiasm wanes...suddenly u r just a guy out there who loved thier pills and remember the good...we forget the bad very quickly/the guy or girl out there who sees others do pills with no reprocussion..but we can not/and we never will be able to...it is very hard to accept this fact for most of us...It sounds as if u r remembering the bad tho..keep it close to ur heart..and remember that feeling whn u go to use..avoiding triggers like friends who use is vital

Pills r just not fun anymore for most of us here..doesnt meean we wont f up a few times cos most of us will...so dont beat urself up over what has happened..dust urself up..pick up ur inner self..and live one day at a time...

everything that happens is for a reason..sometimes it is very hard to know/at that particular time/what that reason might be...but there is sumpin u learned/some type of benefit this negative experience helped u with..it will make u stronger..u will be more careful next time....keep posting
Helpful - 0
960021 tn?1270662682
Everything will be okay for you, I know that it will. I'm flattered to hear that you're secretly proud of what I've accompolished - Just know that I am struggling just as much as you are when it comes to staying sober. Don't get me wrong, I haven't relapsed on anything or with anything, etc. But the other day, I was with a friend who just had a baby, and she asked if I wanted one of her Percocet for my back because she knew it was hurting pretty badly last week. I told her no, but thanked her for the offer. That was that - but for the first time since I've gotten sober... I actually thought about it.
Helpful - 0
975183 tn?1251813472
Oh hun. Be proud of yourself that you were clean as long as you were, now you know you can do it. And this is also a good lesson (that we all have to learn) that a few pills DO hurt. I know it ***** going through the withdrawals again, but next time you feel tempted, remember this. It's just not worth it.

I haven't even started to fully detox yet, I'm terrified. I know you can do it though (hell ya did it before) :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You and I were in the same boat, same clean time just about.  I too relapsed these past 2 week.  Today is my first day and I am scared on how I will feel tomorrow.  This *****.  I hope you are getting better, I know that time will go on and we will get better,its just a constant struggle.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well this morning was the start of day 4 and I felt somewhat ok but still achey, upset stomach, and needing Immodium but made it to work and getting things done. Felt better this morning than last Friday like twice as good. WARNING even if you have been clean a month or 2 and feel a few pills won't hurt anything WRONG. I spent the weekend going threw WD's like the first time. No one here is Superman and that **** can grab you by the *** so quick it will make your head spin. First you use as much as you use to. MISTAKE. Your body has weaned that opiates out and you over do it. Secondly you think I can quit anytime but it took me 3 weeks and some serious soul searching to stop again after only 3 weeks. I had quit aftercare. MISTAKE. I thought this rollercoaster of using and quitting is killing me. I continue to have no energy so I just joined a gym and just got back from an NA meeting I had quit because those people were hard core and nobody ever talked to me so today I just started up conversations with a few guys and got a few phone numbers and actually bought the book NA. So here goes again and maybe I'll get it threw my thick head this is no way to live. To all who have supported me and offered advice I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It's bad to know so much about quitting but not be able to do it  
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Avatar universal
Hey Tex,   just wanted to say that it took me for the longest time to get it through my head that  recovery lasts forever.  Just melted a few months ago and that realization made a big difference in my attitude in dealing with abstenance.  Has made me a bit stronger to know that this is really a doable thing.  Yes, detox isn't pretty, but staying clean and sober is an everyday decision.  We just need the time to pass, the months to go by and the determination to stay clean, everyday.     We all have to learn,  it is a journey and sometimes we take a detour when we should keep going straight,  we find our own way and deal with this mental thing and we learn from it.   Best wishes to you,  I think you will be okay !

E
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yea I messed up. I have been secretly proud of your accomplishments abd what you managed to do as originally we quit about the sane time. I'm a guy and after about 45 days clean and getting stronger everyday(joined a gym) I guess a guy thinks he is Superman, After a 3 week binge using like I used to friend left and I make a buy and realize I am back in WD's without. The first time when we both quit it was 10 days before my 6 year addiction receded, Thank God i pulled my head out off my *** after 3 weeks and on the 4th morning off hell all over again I thought I feel much better. I have taken walks which would have been impossible the first time. Drinking fluids. To anyone reading this don't believe that just because it's been a while you can take a couple off pills and all is OK. That S O B will grab you back. I hope I learned a lesson and good luck peace as you are my hero in stability and fortitude
Helpful - 0
960021 tn?1270662682
Everything happens for a reason, and you're going through this to show you what can only happen from here. The WD shouldn't be AS bad as they were for you when you first went through all of this a couple months ago... So, try and stay positive the best you know how to do so. Keep posting here. You and I both know how much of a saving grace this website has been from time to time.
Helpful - 0
986593 tn?1283532211
Well the important thing is that now you realize what needs to be done. Usually 3 weeks of using doesnt get your body addicted but with the hi amount you did in those 3 weeks who knows. Most addicts start up again thinking they need the same dose they were on before and dont get a chance to wd again. You should feel lucky that you have that chance.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
IBKleen my horse was pointed in the right direction, I was just sitting on her backwards.
Aftercare is very important as after a month or 2 when you start to feel like superman that is I believe when you become most vulnerable. Have to get back in NA and in my church.
soberfrank didn't say after all your relapses how hard is it to get sober again after a 3 week binge. I feel pretty bad but near as sick as the first time I quit. I didn't have Clonodine the first time and it took about 2 weeks to get to normal whereas I hope I can get these WD's over in about 5 days with hard work. Thanks for the posts  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
From one Tx addict to another.  man with friends like  that who needs enemies, right?
Sounds like you have learned your lesson and I'll bet next time, you'll tell the friend to get lost.  Sorry your having to back track, but sometimes when the trail goes cold its best to back track and find a new sign or a new path that will take you to your desired destination.  I've now got 6-7 months under my belt and cant image having to start over, so I am pulling for you to get it right this time.  Hopefully It wont be starting completely over.  Best of Luck.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well today is one week clean for me and I have wondered how my body would react after a few days of using, sounds like yours was more than a few days but does our bodies go right back to where we were in terms of wd's or does it depend on how long we lapsed for??  I truely feel for you and your situation because I feel it could easily happen to me as well.  This is a war man and we have to protect ourselves the same way we would our troops.  The simple fact that you had 40-50 days proves you are capable and strong hang in there I know its not easy but we all will be praying for you!!!
Helpful - 0
271792 tn?1334979657
So, was I wrong?

I am sorry to see that your elapsed but you are here now and that is what counts.

I hope you get back on the horse and point him in the right direction.

And remember, you need to change people, places and things.....
Helpful - 0
998979 tn?1282151034
hi, let me first say ,stop beating yourself up over it.  pity will keep you high.it took me 4 years of relapsing before i got my first year sober..  the wd's have no set time period, i found that a few benadril helpped the first week .. dont take too many though.  Go back to a meeting today.. go to 2-3 if you dont feel better.  youve heard the word surrender in there before, i think you you should..... i know that when i truly and honestly surrendered,  the cravings went away.not over night but it did happen       good luck and ill pray for you...f
Helpful - 0
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