I am tapering slowly and the tears have been flowing. I knew something was wrong when I watched the movie Dirty Dancing and cried for 2 weeks wishing I was jennifer grey in that movie. I cry over nothing sometimes. Hydrocodone makes me very numb emotionally, crying also releases a lot of the anxiety. It's all energy that has to be released. I beat myself up sometimes for getting to this point in my life, and my friends and the people here just built me right back up. Cry cry cry, I think it is very healing.
If it helps I too was filled with anger inside. I turned that to fuel for the fire. Take that anger and like sarah said Hit the pavement. walk, light jogging, crawling if that's all you can muster up! I wish you the best and let the tears flow... it helps clean the soul IMO.
Oh god yes - I can fully relate to your self-hate. I cried (& still do) and feel like a terrible person for being addicted for so long. It makes you feel like a terrible wife, mom, sister, employee, or whatever you may be... the WD just makes everything magnified by 100000, or maybe just a huge wake up call.
It will get easier, but be aware that time is going to go very SLOW and one day will feel like 3. But you can get through it.
What doesn't kill you will make you stronger. The addiction is awful, but when you overcome it, you come out a stronger person, which will help you learn to love yourself again. You have accomplished a HUGE thing, keep it up.
Thanks girls, Sarah your right. I'm going for that 2mile walk down to the store again to score my other DOC, REDBULL! The caffiene is bad for my anxiety but i gotta have it.
The tears are very common. We have numbed ourselves up for so long. I would cry over commercials. Let those tears fall and start feeling what you feel. Dont fight it. Try to not wallow in self hate. Turn this into something positive. You are getting your life back. Get out and go for a walk. That will help to get your "feel goods" feeling better. Aftercare is vital in our recovery also. Keep posting sara
Man oh man did I ever beat the heck out of myself when I went through detox here at home by myself. It's all apart of the process. If it gets to a really bad point, then maybe you should start looking into aftercare with all of this. I have yet to go to an NA meeting, and I won't even make excuses here as to why or why not.