Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

I'm feeling so much self hate?

I Don't know what the problem is here but I am being overwhelmed with self-hatred 2day. I feel like i'm starting to feel again today. Is it normal to beat yourself up so much? I feel like my eyes are tearing up on there own. I can't remember the last time i cried(It's hard to say this me being a man and all)but I seriously just wanna let this all out somehow and feel better.
6 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
I am tapering slowly and the tears have been flowing.  I knew something was wrong when I watched the movie Dirty Dancing and cried for 2 weeks wishing I was jennifer grey in that movie.  I cry over nothing sometimes.  Hydrocodone makes me very numb emotionally, crying also releases a lot of the anxiety.  It's all energy that has to be released.  I beat myself up sometimes for getting to this point in my life, and my friends and the people here just built me right back up.  Cry cry cry, I think it is very healing.  
Helpful - 0
684067 tn?1314292786
If it helps I too was filled with anger inside. I turned that to fuel for the fire. Take that anger and like sarah said Hit the pavement. walk, light jogging, crawling if that's all you can muster up! I wish you the best and let the tears flow... it helps clean the soul IMO.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh god yes - I can fully relate to your self-hate.  I cried (& still do) and feel like a terrible person for being addicted for so long. It makes you feel like a terrible wife, mom, sister, employee, or whatever you may be...  the WD just makes everything magnified by 100000, or maybe just a huge wake up call.  
It will get easier, but be aware that time is going to go very SLOW and one day will feel like 3. But you can get through it.  
What doesn't kill you will make you stronger.  The addiction is awful, but when you overcome it, you come out a stronger person, which will help you learn to love yourself again.  You have accomplished a HUGE thing, keep it up.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks girls, Sarah your right. I'm going for that 2mile walk down to the store again to score my other DOC, REDBULL! The caffiene is bad for my anxiety but i gotta have it.
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
The tears are very common.  We have numbed ourselves up for so long.  I would cry over commercials.  Let those tears fall and start feeling what you feel.  Dont fight it.  Try to not wallow in self hate.  Turn this into something positive.  You are getting your life back.  Get out and go for a walk.  That will help to get your "feel goods" feeling better.  Aftercare is vital in our recovery also.  Keep posting          sara
Helpful - 0
960021 tn?1270662682
Man oh man did I ever beat the heck out of myself when I went through detox here at home by myself. It's all apart of the process. If it gets to a really bad point, then maybe you should start looking into aftercare with all of this. I have yet to go to an NA meeting, and I won't even make excuses here as to why or why not.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
phoenix, AZ
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.