Im happy but confused

[CAP56]

I've been addicted to pills for about 3 years now. I've tried to quit countless times. My wife and parents supported me and wanted me to go to detox, and after care for at least a month. And then in happened; I quit, without withdrawal. I've gotten really close with someone on here and she knows my struggles. I should be laid up in bed, taking breaks to the bathroom and nothing like that had occurred.
I feel delivered, so my question is, "has anyone ever experienced this?"

[jifmoc]

Hey there. I read everything and I think you are doing amazing. know why? Because you are OPEN to the solution. I think you are the first person that I've seen on here that mentioned that the 90 mtgs in 90 days is a good idea! (I did that...it is.) And you are asking for help. Doing great!

Also remember that opiates numb all of our feelings. So your brain is gonna feel everything and really intensely right now. Sounds like you are right on schedule:)

Keep posting!!

[Ejm7263]

You can do this. Your aftercare is important. Therapist, NA, AA whatever's works. Remember you don't want to every have to feel this way again.
I'm 24 days off methadone, it was several days before I really got ill. But this has been the worst thing I've ever been through. Day 22 was really hard but worth it. Today has been great. The windows are up, grandkids are here, sun is shining. I've already been to a meeting today.
Don't give up before you get your miracle, please!!!
Proud of you, keep posting.

[brainchange]

Hang in there CAP. (that sounds so trite--but sometimes it does feel like I am literally hanging by a thread). I was really afraid of the WD symptoms too when I decided to quit and read a lot of the threads and was prepared as you sort of eluded to. Then, it wasn't all that bad. A week went by and I was achy and stuff. That got worse and I did Thomas recipe stuff and was in the bath all the time with Epsom salts. I had that black cloud of depression too. And CRIED for no apparent reason ---sometimes embarrassing myself just in a work meeting or in a store. It sucked.  Then I decided it was going to be ok to just take the few hydro pills I had left (1/2's at a time).  That had minimum impact (I thought it would take the black cloud away at least!)---but I guess I felt a little better. for MAYBE 2 hours.  Just to warn  ya--it is NOT worth it for that little bit of feeling better.
So--now I am 2 weeks straight with no pills. I have a headache that is making me crazy. I am going to think it is from this whole roller coaster ride I have been on and just do the time. I don't feel all wow and happy--that's for sure.  Give yourself a break and don't expect to feel that "good" stuff for a bit. Just say "maybe tomorrow".  Watch movies or read books to take your mind off what is going on. Your brain is speaking a different language than your heart is right now. That addiction demon hangs on to our brains I guess for a while.  I'm just an infant in all of this too----but wanted to say hi and tell you ---this too shall pass. It will change. But if you feel like hurting yourself --you gotta find someone to talk to in person asap. PLEASE. Best wishes to you

[meegWpaw]

... "embrace the suck" ... I like that ...  so your new, CAPS.  its really important to stay around people and get out to those meetings even if you don't feel like it.  lean on your wife, your parents, tell them whats going on.  you are so up and down emotionally, you need to take care of yourself.  are you still feeling suicidal?  if so you need to make sure you are not alone.  be good, be well.

[newoutlook12]

I'm so sorry to hear that, have the depression meds been working yet? How long have you been on them? Are you doing any aftercare meetings?

[CAP56]

Pink cloud lasted the weekend. Too bad too because it went from pink cloud to suicidal in a matter of a week. I'm on depression meds and hopefully it never gets that bad again.

[CAP56]

I really didn't do anything different. I was prepared to embrace the suck and if it got too bad, go to detox. But it never happened, I can't explain it. I'm going to my therapist tomorrow and then to NA and we'll see what happens.

[bama88]

Pink cloud.....problem is that pink may fade....your smart to delete all the negative people.  If  your at the three day mark and no withdrawls consider yourself lucky...what are you going to differently this time to stay clean?  Getting clean is easy...staying clean is harder....yes you need to go to meetings...

[CAP56]

I certainly confused some people; my friend on herethat I talk to has only been threw messaging. I haven't physically talked to her. It's just nice having someone going threw the same stuff to be accountable to. It has helped more than I thought it would. Hell being on here has helped so much. It's crazy.

[CAP56]

I plan on going to NA, ive only been to 1 meeting so far. I also meet with a therapist. Someone suggested 90 meetings in 90 days. I think that's an excellent plan of action. I've deleted Facebook and phone numbers of people I shouldn't talk to. I agree that aftercare is my most important focus right. I've only been clean for two days but it feels awesome unlike what I've experienced before.

[Jinx_777]

don't look for withdrawal symptoms.  concentrate on aftercare, your health, etc.
they say 'when you quit a bad habit, replace it with a good one'.  i find this to be very true.  

you may be one of the few lucky ones who get by easy and they maybe delayed.  sometimes i think it is best to experience the wd pain because it reminds us that we never want to go through that again.  if it is too easy then everyone would just keep doing it, right?

[IBKleen]

I agree about the pink cloud. I hope you don't fall off of it. I think hooking with some on here is a very bad decision. So she is your new drug. It is recommended that you don't get into a relationship for the first year and participate in aftercare everyday..not just for thirty days. You don't know how to stay clean yet buddy. How can you possibly get into a relationship. I wish you the best of luck.

[vicki595]

Yes. I haven't experienced the phenomenon but I've read about others' experiences here.  Have you done a search in the archives? You may be able to pull up some old threads on the topic...

How many days has it been?