I'm sorry to continue bothering you all, need an answer PLEASE!

[EmbarrassedK]

Hello everyone, good morning(not for me though). I'm sure many of you have seen some of my posts. In case you haven't, I am trying to detox from Percocet. I started Sunday evening. I was normally on anywhere from 6-8 10mg pills a day. I was doing well, then I slipped up on what should have been day 3 for me and took 1 10mg pill at 5am yesterday. Today, which should have technically been day 4 for me, I'm in horrible physical shape. W/d are really bad, threw up twice this morning trying to take my vitamins, diarrhea, my body is aching, shaky, sweaty, etc, it goes on. My question is, is this normal 4 day symptoms or did I entirely screw myself up yesterday by that one pill? I pray that isn't the case and I know I'm the only one to blame. But I'm so sick and just hoping this is normal day 4 symptoms as opposed to starting from the beginning. Please, this is so tiring already, I know I'm expecting miracles but I didn't even have the strength to get my children ready for school this morning. Advice or opinions PLEASE!

[EmbarrassedK]

Hi guys, sorry I haven't checked in for a while. Busy, busy with baseball. Proud to say I witnessed my son hit his first out of the park homerun and not only one but 5 of them during his All Stars team practice. I'm going to continue to do what I need to get the help I need to feel better and continue to function for my family. Appts coming up soon, so hopefully things will work out as I hope. Thank you ALL for your support. You have been amazing!xo

[MyhighBOTTOM]

I was talking to EmberrassedK. But...I hope you are doing well too. I was feeling great day 4-8. Then days 9 &10 I felt like I was going thru it all AGAIN! Uggggg. Woke up feeling better today on day 11. I guess it comes in waves. "We didn't become addicts over night, so easy does it" Right? No expectations of this journey. Everytime I feel like S*** It's just a reminder why I stopped and how I don't ever want to go through this again.

[chig1130]

MyHIGHBOTTOM  are you talking to me or Embarrassed?

[MyhighBOTTOM]

Yes, I know how hard the constant pain is. I am a 47 yr old with T-12 L1 L2 L4 L5 ruptured. C1-C7 NO cushion remaining between disc. Most recent MRI also showed an annular tear and canal stenosis. The deep nerve pain is off the charts!! This all started back in 2012. Although, looking back I had been in pain for awhile but not to this extreme. Left hip also has advanced osteoarthritis (recommending hip replacement) It's a DAILY struggle but I am determined and doing EVERYTHING recommended. Slow walks, swim, hot tub, stretching, lots of fluids, muscle rub, REST and NA meetings!! I really felt like I wanted to carry my MRI results around with me because people would say..."You're in pain? Hmmmmmmm...you're so tiny, such great shape, you obviously work out, and you work and travel so much?" I would just think...You have no idea the h*** I'm living in!!  But...Even with the struggles I've been having the last couple days. I don't ever WANT to take those pills again. I hope you're doing better today. I reallly do. Hang in there.  You CAN do it!  Also, What was your total diagnosis on your MRI's?

[chig1130]

Embarrassed I feel your pain, my damn back is a mess. I guess you read my post up at the top. I wished I had the answer, so sorry you are so young, but that's when my problems started also. I hope you find out whats going on.. I too am on my way to making appt. to see Ortho doctor and see where I go from here.
Just hang on, I know how you are feeling. Its brutal to suffer with spine problems. Ugh.
Im trying to cheer you on, please stay strong just for today!!!!

[tramuser99]

Also any physical pain you were treating beforehand will be magnified during the detox process.  One of the worst parts is all the joint aches, its important to stay hydrated because if you haven't noticed you have to pee all the time during initial detox which only dries out your joints.  Opiates make us retain water which is one reason we tend to gain weight while on them but then lose it rapidly through detox.  

[EmbarrassedK]

Yes, today would technically be day 6, and I knew the fight would eventually happen and I'm surprised it took so long to happen. But we finally calmed down and spoke and came up with a plan we were both ok with. I pushed hard enough for them to move my.neurologist appt to next week so hopefully I'll get the ball rolling on getting relief. Thanks for all the support. I really wouldn't have gotten through these 6 days with this forum. You all have been amazing!

[EmbarrassedK]

My appt with my neurologist is next week, so I'm hoping she can move things along alot faster. Getting another MRI and getting me into pain management. Yesterday when the urgent doctor review the notes of my old MRIs she mentioned something I was never told before...I asked her to explain it to ke and she said it means my spine gets spongy at times. Wth does that mean? And why am I finding this out almost 2years later. They've got a lot of explaining to do and need to help me because I can't do this. I'm so sorry about your pain but can so you truly are an inspiration pushing through the pain. Because if yours is anything like mine, you truly are a trooper. I hope it gets a lot better for you a lot quicker!

[tramuser99]

So are you almost at the week mark?  I think I remember you had one slip but that shouldn't make a big difference.  Getting 7 days is big, the worst is definitely behind you.

As far as fighting with your husband, its pretty much unavoidable as we don't become our old selves just because the meds leave our body.  That takes time and right now you are having to deal with a lot.  Try to take it in stride, don't let the stress take away the progress.  Non-addicts have a hard time understanding what we are going through, I just had a nasty 9 year breakup because of all this.  It may sound selfish, but you have to look after your health before anything else, there will never be a perfect time to get clean without having stuff that needs to get done at the same time.

[MyhighBOTTOM]

It's all worth the fight! My nerve pain is literally on fire!!! But....darn it, I know there has to be some alternatives. Day 9 and 10 a little rough. Feel like I'm back at day 4. But it's just a good reminder NOT TO USE PILLS!! Don't ever want to go through this again. Have you been able to refrain from taking the few pills you have on hand? Please try an NA meeting. The support is amazing!!

[EmbarrassedK]

Hi, well my pain is right back to where it was when I was initially prescribed the medicine. I am going to see my neurologist next week, so hopefully I will get the relief I need and an answer because since this started I have gotten so many different answers as to what's wrong with me. I cannot function with the back pain, hence the beginning of pain management in the past. I can sit, stand, lay, or walk for too long because I'm totured. I'm trying. I got through the physical parts, now I have to plan my next step carefully.

[EmbarrassedK]

Good morning, I am no longer in charge of the finances in my home...my husband is. We had our big blow out yesterday, that I'm surprised didn't come sooner during this detox process, I think mainly thanks to all the support I've received on here. But yesterday was pretty bad. And when things finally calmed down, we were able to talk it out. Financially, yes I've put us in somewhat of a rut, meaning after bills are paid, the rest would go to my stupid addiction. I still haven't made a decision as what to do right now. I've got all my appts set up, to start the process over with pain management, so we'll see how things turn out. I know and have heard the success stories, and I'm so truly happy for everyone who has continued their hard work. Again, I haven't made a decision as of yet. Still torn. Thank you still for the encouragement. I appreciate everything! I'm really trying my hardest to do what's best for my family.

[Frogger76]

I agree with Langer. I think everyone's pain intensifies during detox (x's 10). You have to fight through it. Flush those nasty pills. You will get through this. Each detox is harder and harder on you. It's not easy by any means, but don't let the pills win. If you have em, chances are you'll take em. Don't give in, flush em!!

[Langer413]

I really hope you don't give in - otherwise everything you fought for this week is for nothing. Please listen to what I and others have been saying, your body is flaring up in pain begging for pain pills. But it will get better. I think everyone here will attest they have less pain off of the pills. If you go back on, what's your end game then? You already said you hurt your family financially with your addiction. That will only get worse. You'll have to take more and more pills to stay at the level your are, and eventually you won't be able to find any more pills and then what? I really want you to think about your kids and your life with your family before taking anything.

[Langer413]

I really hope you don't give in - otherwise everything you fought for this week is for nothing. Please listen to what I and others have been saying, your body is flaring up in pain begging for pain pills. But it will get better. I think everyone here will attest they have less pain off of the pills. If you go back on, what's your end game then? You already said you hurt your family financially with your addiction. That will only get worse. You'll have to take more and more pills to stay at the level your are, and eventually you won't be able to find any more pills and then what? I really want you to think about your kids and your life with your family before taking anything.

[EmbarrassedK]

Thank you for your sweet words! I woke up with the old extreme back pain as I used to. I have a big decision to make today and I don't know what the outcome will be. But still praying for the best and hopeful! Thank you so much, sending lots of hugs!

[jugglin]

Oh girl...I feel your pain...I do.  You are such an inspiration.  You may not see that, but you are.  I'm sorry for your suffering.  Have you ever googled Yoga Nidra?  It is a meditation yoga that might help.  Stay strong honey and fight for YOU!  
Sending you prayers for strength, healing, and peace!

[EmbarrassedK]

Good for you! Keep going. We are definitely in the same boat fighting this difficult fight. Tomorrow I will see if I win the battle in my head and lose the war to what's right. This pain is agonizing. And this depression has hit me full force! But you can do it! Way to go pushing yourself, I only got out of the house maybe 4 times during this process and two were to be at my children's games. Keep up the good work darling! You're on your way :)

[EmbarrassedK]

Hello! Thank you for your empathy. Today my emotions erupted like a volcano, I was freaking out on this forum, but at home Iwas just a little moody but nothing over the top. After looking for help, pleading with them to no avail, I just went into a rampage with my husband who has no clue how to deal with addiction. He doesn't understand that for me, it was bound to happen eventually during this process and yet again, I'm emotionally drained. I was almost never in pain when I had my medicine. I was living the "normal" life that I envied so much in others. A life without pain, my mood stabilized, and energy to get anything done thrown my way. Tomorrow will be day 6 and I have a choice to make because I have a few pills in hand. I didn't pay for them, they were given to me because of the pain in my back (not the Dr.) An empathetic friend who has no clue about my history. So tomorrow I will see the outcome and what choice I'll make. As of now, nust gonna get some rest, and hope to wake up to a better day. Thanks for your words of encouragement and congratulations on your journey!

[MyhighBOTTOM]

I'm so sorry. I am in the same position. Physical w/d gone but the MAIN source of my injuries and pain is on fire. I just swam in my pool and got in the hot tub. I'm in Ca. 103 degrees today.  Just lots of icing and heat too. Motrin and tylenol. I can see now exactly why I started taking the meds in the first place. BUT...I'll be damned if I'm going to start with those evil pills again. I have a sense of freedom and a ton of bricks lifted off of me. You WILL get here!! I signed up for a non narcotic pain management class as well, hoping they have some tools I can use. Keep your head up. I get bouts of depression as well throughout the day. No energy. I push myself to walk 15 minutes daily VERY slow so I don't cause more damage then I already have. I am getting ready to go to a NA meeting. Have you been yet? They've been my saving grace! Take care of yourself and keep up the great work and progress!!!

[Nomore2]

I read your story and I am so sorry you are in pain. It is good you are getting off the narcotics. I know it's harder when you have legitimate pain issues. I just hoped to give you some encouragement. In my case, I have found that the pain actually gets better the longer I am  off the narcotic mess. At first, your body is adjusting to not having the medication anymore and that increases the pain and the pain receptors go nuts. But, in many cases, it gets better after you have been narcotic free for awhile. Maybe this will be the case with you. I want to encourage you to keep it up and don't give in. These opiates are so bad for us! Actually, Tylenol is a pretty effective pain reliever. You can take 4000 mg a day safely. Try two 500 mg every 4-6 hours for a few days and see if that helps the pain. I'm no doctor, but this I just what I've read in my research. Hang in there!

[EmbarrassedK]

I had to ask for, not sure how to spell it (tarodol) shot, which hasn't helped. And I've done nothing at all today but sleep, hot compress, reposition myself every ten minutes, and regretting getting off the meds. I have no physical w/d anymore, just the depression and pain I had before starting the medicine. Wish I could give some kind of guidance, but this morning I was a little nauseous and that's about it. Today is technically day 5 if you dont count that one slip up, if you do, it is day 4. Nothing is helping and I'm getting desperate. Couldn't control my crying at the doctor's office and she couldn't care less. I don't know what else to do!

[EmbarrassedK]

She was ridiculous, I've had an encounter with her in the past and had reported her for unprofessionalism, so that could have something to do with it. I got a shot in my buttocks that should last about 24hrs and I'm still in pain. It's so hard to keep going.

[MyhighBOTTOM]

They offered you nothing? You had immense back pain. Wondering how you are dealing with it today? It sounded like you were at your wits end. What changed today and what's getting you through it without the pills?  Maybe, sharing this will help others know they too, can get through REAL PAIN  without meds!!