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Is there hope for me?? Really...

Been taking narcotics for 13 years! Is it even possible to stop? I want so badly for my life to b my own!
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Avatar universal
There is hope. Can you please share more.  What are you taking and how much? Do you get them from a dr?
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Avatar universal
been taking @ least 6-7 80mg Oxys a day since 2002. Been stealing them from my husband. He was in a terrible car accident then bad back surgery in 2001
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Avatar universal
That is a huge dose.  I recommend a taper or rehab.  What is your motivation for wanting to quit?  Your husband doesn't notice that many pills missing?
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15227985 tn?1439629482
Yes mam its definitely possible and thus is a wonderful place to get support . You have taken the first step by wanting your life back now its time to follow through. It will be hard but you can do it as most of us have or are. Just keep posting how you feel and there will be others to come help. I know its scary but that's the addict side of the brain, let me ask you this is it more scary to die BC it happens to us "addicts" everyday. You can do this if you really and truly want your life back. The first week is hell but starts to definitely get better. Im proud of everyone  who wants to regain control of their life again. Please stay strong and imbpraying for you, Sean
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Avatar universal
Hi welcome. Your dose is higher than some and less than others. That doesn't matter.

Why would it be too late? If you are still breathing and want to quit you are in the game.

The VERY first thing you need to do is remove all access. You must be getting them other places aside from you husband, right? First you have to tell your husband. You won't get clean if you can still find them. Any doctor or dealer needs to be cut off, too.

Are you willing to do this?
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Avatar universal
There's always hope. I'm only 7 months in a mostly sober state. It's still rough, but there are good days where I feel more than amazing. And they continue and more good days come. If you do quit I would suggest a taper, it will most likely be hard and you will probably feel rebound pain coming off such a high dose, but if you take more than your taper regimen it will only delay your healing process. You have to be strong and really want to quit. I wish the best of luck to you.
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Avatar universal
My husband has permanent nerve damage that gets worse w pain & an ECG is done every yr which shows the damage getting worse. He's on a lot of diff meds so he really doesn't notice what I e taken. I'm the sole bread winner & I can't b w/drawing at work, especially w the kind of work I do.  Does anyone kno around how much it costs for the rapid 24 hour detox that I've heard about? And does it really work?
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Avatar universal
Whoa hold on. This isn't a "convenience" thing. You HAVE to be willing to do whatever it takes to transform your life. That includes taking the time to withdraw. The thing about addicts is that we always want comfort and convenience. You need to be willing to give whatever it takes to do this.

That 24 hour detox has not only caused fatalities, it has proven to be ineffective. And it's outrageously expensive. Why not do it the old fashioned way, which is effective and free. Your changes don't stop after you detox. This is a whole life change. You'll need to address your addict that is still alive and well after you put down the drugs. You've been on a very significant dose for a long time. It's going to take TIME.
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Avatar universal
Yes, I agree & kno exactly what ur saying but  like every post had said, I've been on these for over a decade at a very high dose, I can't do my job while detoxing( I've been there b4). I will look into a rehab that's specific for opioid abuse. Thanks for listening.
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Avatar universal
I'm not saying that because I wld b "inconvenienced", but reality is that myself, my husband & my son wld b homeless wo my job.
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Avatar universal
Is your plan to do a detox or to taper?  Will you be able to take off work for detox?   Please stay here on this forum.  Would hate to see you disappear on us.  May I ask what type of work you do?  (You can tell me a general description if you are concerned about confidentiality). Do you take one pill at a time?  I am asking because I wanted to get an idea if you take pills all day long or double up each time you take a dose.
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4898964 tn?1381257899
I was on a similar dose to what you're on Way2long.  I ct'd and it can be done. just to let you know...  But in your case I can completely see your point of view and that keeping your job is the priority at the moment.  Have you considered tapering down?  That is completely doable and I'd think that you'd still be able to work.  I had afriend who tapered from 200mg or so I think it was , it took him awhile but he eventually got there and ended up jumping at 20mgs will very little relative discomfort and continued his job the whole way (water services so it had a reasonable physical element to it).  
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Avatar universal
Unfortunately there is no magic cure for detox,just getting through it is the only secret. I was on oxycodone every day for 11 years. I've been clean 9 months,so yes it's totally possible. I have two kids and a full time job as well. I basically faked it till I made it. I'd recommend tapering if you can,a lot of couldn't. If they are there we will take them. You'll be physically sick with chills/sweats diarrhea,nausea,restlessness and insomnia for probably a couple weeks with your dose quitting at cold turkey. But everyday will get a little better. Getting clean is the easy part,staying clean is the hard part. I would recommend a recovry program like AA/NA. Rehab,but a lot of don't have the luxuries of going to rehab. But that's where the meetings come in. it's pretty well impossible to do this with out some sort of aftercafs,especially after the length of time you were on them. Your emotions will be all over for quite some time fighting to get back to normal with out the drugs.
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Avatar universal
You've got some tough and important decisions to make.  First off, don't think in draconian terms.  You haven't lost your job, and you aren't homeless.   Addiction is a very real illness, and even if you had to tell your employer (which I know you don't want to) they cannot fire you for this; it is against the law.

BUT.  As I said, I know that is road you don't want to go down if you can help it (involving your employer.)   I know folks are suggesting tapering here, but I couldn't do it, and I was on a much smaller daily dose than yours (for 8 years.)  

The rapid detox method you asked about is called the Waissman method.  My cousin did it (for alcohol addiction) and she went right back to drinking.  It has a high failure rate, and is VERY expensive.  

We are talking about your LIFE here...I think you need to sit down with your doctor, come clean, and talk about the best options for your recovery.  First is going to be the detox, of course, and it will be difficult, given that you are on a fairly high dose.  But difficult doesn't mean impossible.  Almost every single thing in this life that is valuable, good, or worth having, is difficult to obtain.  

How old are you, approximately? Do you have health issues?  I think that you should be medically monitored (even if that just means checking in with your doctor every week or few days) while you're withdrawing.   There are also some comfort meds that your doctor can prescribe that won't make the withdrawals go away, but they will mitigate SOME of the more harsher effects.  

You can do this.   People have gotten off higher amounts than you...and you cannot sustain this level of abuse; something is going to happen, and it is going to be horrible.    I commend you for wanting to get clean.

It is a little early to be discussing it now, but imo, after-care is going to be a MUST for you.  Especially with a disabled husband to take care of, a child, and the fact that your husband has pain meds and keeps them in the house.  You may need to think about having him lock them in a small safe so you have no access once you are up and running.

Everyone has given their opinion, and they are all good...but I think it would be smart idea to make an appointment with your physician, and tell him/her the whole truth. They won't be shocked; abuse of opiods is an epidemic right now in the world.

Good luck honey...stick around here and tell us how you are doing....

Hugs,
-Robin
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Avatar universal
Thanks everyone 4 commenting so quickly. Now I'll tell u the whole truth: I did a rapid detox in 2005 for 10k, I cldnt sleep, had an illergic reaction to the med that was supposed to not let me feel it if I used, had 2 small children & lived at my moms house at the time. Needless to say I completely failed & starting using 3 days after rapid. I've tried to taper but, yup, if they're there I'm going to take'em. Tried a rehab in 2007 & lasted there only 24 hrs & left. Honestly for me, the hard part is detoxing. I really wish there was a magic antidote for the withdrawals. But this time I REALLY want my life back so I'll try the tapering method again. I've made an appt w my pcp which is a huge 1st step because once the "cat is outta the bag" there's no putting it back in. I'll b checking back in soon...thanks again.
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Avatar universal
Hi...well your posts scream addict all over them  the detox is the ez part it is staying clean that takes the work  this is 1/3 phyical and 2/3 mental  the mental part is what has brought you down....I have never heard anything good about the rapid detox  yours is a typical story  if I where in your shoes I would try to taper down a bit b/4 detoxing your on a huge dose  this wont be e/z to do but if you come clean with your husband he can hold the pills and give you a fighting chance to win this thing  just know it is possible to find recovery but this just wont go away on its own  I always recamend the N/A program you will need contuing support to over come this the meetings are only a hour long and the progam will teach you how to stay clean  keep posting for support..........Gnarly
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13565897 tn?1430515982
well good morning and welcome, if you want to get clean because your a drug addict well congrats it wont be easy and it can totally be done at home many many people have made it yet struggle daily to stay clean.

So whats the deal just done with the pills and want to move on? I have to tell you that being an addict an have piles of pills in the house is not going to work unless your man locks them up in a safe bottom line you will cry and cry just give me one please!!! trust me the toughest out there have begged for just one more.

First come clean with your guy then work on a plan to have some down time maybe a few days before a weekend that way you can get the bad days out of the way then understand that for a few weeks things are going to suck both at work and at home that's just the truth no easy way out but can be done just check out all the surviving warriors on this site they are all in different stages of recovery and you can hop on board when you are ready or just hang out for a while and get some tips best wishes.
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Avatar universal
Yes the mental anguish is terrible. I see everyone is saying the w/d is the easy part but it's just not that way for me. The physical & mental w/d scares the **** outta me. I've been there & wish I didn't have to go back. Since I've been on these for too many years I am able to go pretty low & physically b ok. It's my terrible depression, anxiety, not able sleep & just plain meanness that I'm not looking forward to but after I talk to my pcp he shld b able to figure out something to help me thru the 1st few weeks.
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Avatar universal
No one is saying wds are easy. We are saying that in comparison to STAYING clean, it's a small blip in time.

Detox blows, but there is no way around it. There just isn't. The choices are face detox, get into aftercare and have a life. Or keep using and it's jail or death. This is just gonna get worse and worse if you don't nip this now. I'm sure you know that.

Honestly sounds like rehab would be the best for you IF YOU STAY. Is that possible? If not, you'll just have to deal w/ being uncomfortable for a while and do home detox.
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Avatar universal
Just wondering, did most of u take a couple weeks off from life (work, family etc) while detoxing? I'm curious to hear from those that had been using high doses for years.
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13565897 tn?1430515982
Yes I worked right through a 6-8 10/325 Norco habit for years I have a very stressful position and worked my normal 12-15 hour days so yes it can be done but I'm not your normal guy and it was hell but I made it and as this was not my first time I knew that keeping busy would be my best choice as sitting around the house restless 24/7 would be its on hell.

It can be done but many addicts have a issue coming clean and needing a bathroom CLOSE by and I did so that part was easy for me also now would I recommend coming off a high dose with no restroom within 1 minute of your local hahaha could get bad.
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4898964 tn?1381257899
I was on a very similar dose to yours and yes, I was out of action for a good period.  I have a health condition though so it's hard to exactly gauge my position in relation to someone who is otherwise in good health aside from a raging addiction.

Long story short though, it is a waste of energy worrying about if, buts and maybes.  You have to pay the piper at some point.  It's up to you to decide what price you're going to pay, whether it be a week or whatever off work or whether you're going to ride the train to the end and lose everything.  What I've learnt from this poor health journey of mine that I've been on on a side note is that no matter what you think, no matter how bad it gets, it can always get worse.  Get out while you can.  Taper, C/T, whatever, the situation will not get more favorable with time.  
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Avatar universal
Thanks jerry, jethro I just need to hear that it can b done. I've put in for 2 weeks pto & received notification that it was approved( last 2 weeks of September). I'm seeing my pcp the week b4 so .... I'm actually looking forward to wding want my health back. Want to kno my children thru clear eyes, although they're not "little" anymore. That's definitely something I'll need to work thru, the guilt of using since they were 3 & 5 now they're 17 & 19. I feel like I missed their childhood
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Avatar universal
Checkout this medhelp post.  Its a well documented detox after 25 years of use.  Yes, you can do this !!!  It isn't easy and there aren't any shortcuts.


http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/At-home-methodone-detox-after-25-yrs/show/1780762#post_13153420
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