I had a relapse

[DannyD1123]

Sorry guys I haven't been on here in a while but I have relapsed and now I'm trying to restart this whole journey...I was so close. I could use some words of encouragement. I am also scheduled to get some teeth removed Saturday I don't know how I'm going to do this....I feel like crap

[10356]

Just checking on you to see how you are doing.. Sending a Prayer that you find your way back.. lesa

[dominosarah]

Always remember the drink bone is connected to the drug bone or vice versa.  Pick yourself up, get rid of any remaining pills, head up, shoulders back and start this road to recovery again.  You can do this~

[gnarly_1]

Hey Danny.....well it always sorrows my heart to here this...for most it crushes you mentally ....just know this with a few changes you can do this long term like many of us...
there is a old saying around here..''nothing changes if nothing changes''.....the real key to most success storys is aftercare.....it is a critical step that so many try to skip.....I have said this a  million times but the only way to do this wrong is trying to do it alone...support is the key....the very nature of our disease is it likes to isolate us....'''a addict alone is in bad company'' you where the last one you got high with....you need to seround yourself with other recovering addicts.....the best program that I know of for this is N/A.....the meetings are only a hour long and everybody there is trying to get clean and stay clean......even if you dont speak and just sit and listen you will find your not alone in the very way you think.... with time working the full program getting a sponcer and working the steps....the very obsession that drives us to us to use will be lifted...something this addict thought was impossible....you will make new ''real friends'' that do care if you make it and everybody there will offer help I cannot recamend this program more highly it has changed my life and removed the obsession to use.....I have a full life second to none....if your like many of us (me) it is a bit intimidating to go to your first meeting.....you just have to step out of your comfort zone and give it a try....I recamend trying it for 90 days  if at the end of that your not seeing improvement we will gladly refund your misery...so dude look at this like a learning experience....what you tried dident work....the true definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting different results google a N/A meeting near you and go.....if it will work for a old dope fiend like me it will work for any one honest with them self
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>GNARLY<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[Tiredcateyes]

Sorry if you have covered the questions I asked. I did not read the above comments since I am knew to this site. Don't beat yourself up on the relapse. It's part of getting sober. And feeling guilty is a good step to not go back again.

[Tiredcateyes]

Hey! You can do this. I am 17 months clean tomorrow. And it's been hard! Been a user for 8 years. How long was your relapse and what were you using? If you're sick from opiates and don't think you can make it try a clinic- out patient.

[clean_in_ks]

Oh yeah, the outpatient I went to was 3 hrs/day for 3 days/week.  It is a GREAT way to get your life back on track and you will make good friends there too because you spend SO much time with them.  I'm really glad to hear you are considering it and that your insurance will pay for it.  You will be glad you did☺

[clean_in_ks]

Motye has given you some GREAT counsel...in all her replies.
I am going to "assume" when you said you told ALL your doctors that that includes your dentist.
I told my dentist too and we used anti-inflammatories (Like Advil LiquiGels, which is ibuprofen, but the gel caps worked faster and better for me).
We also used ice.  Actually, NSAIDS work BETTER than narcotics if you use ice and keep your head elevated after surgery you will do as good as you can post surgery.  Talk to your dentist and see if he/she doesn't agree, ok?  I guess my biggest question would be "did you cut off ALL your sources" and quit hanging around with using friends (whether it be alcohol or drugs or both)?  Do you have somebody in your personal daily life that will hold you accountable?  Support is critical as well, but if you go to meetings and still have sources available and no one to call you out, you are still vulnerable to a relapse.
I personally like AA better than NA, but like Motye says, either work.  Be as honest as you can at your meetings and you will be flooded with love and support.  I will keep you in my prayers, Danny~

[DannyD1123]

Motye has dropped some real gems. You all do. Today I feel like I sucked but tomorrow is tomorrow and that&#39;s all I can do is hope for the best. That&#39;s funny you said that about the non narcotic meds because my previous PCP was a real pill pusher. But I was able to reconnect with a doctor I had previously who is pretty anti meds so I&#39;m making an appointment with her for my aftercare and I haven&#39;t told her yet...but I will face to face. I did tell the anesthesiologist about my use and it felt good not to keep stuff back. What I&#39;m going through is pretty private not a lot of my friends know I&#39;m struggling but my dad and husband and they are very supportive. My dad even goes with me to meetings. I&#39;m happy to have the help and the people who influenced the bad behavior I have cut contact with. It was hard for me to find the outpatient that would work for me but I did and I'm going to use it

[DannyD1123]

How was the initial visit to outpatient and what did they do?

[DannyD1123]

Also, since this past week and today I fell pretty far from Grace I'm going to look into our outpatient services here in my city. I don't think it would hurt any especially since my insurance will cover it

[Davidmel]

Outpatient? Are you considering taking methadone?? If you are-DONT!!!

[DannyD1123]

I did a lot of cleaning today so I wouldn&#39;t have to worry about it tomorrow since I&#39;ll have a free day I wanna hit NA early. It will start the tone of my day 1 all over again.

[DannyD1123]

I have told my doctors I feel so much better about letting them know. I can&#39;t believe this happened to me just a couple weeks ago I was down to half 15 mg. Now I&#39;m back snorting almost 60mg I can&#39;t believe it. I had to get down on my knees and just apologize to God and thank him for letting me see another day to make a change. I don&#39;t want to drink I don&#39;t want to snort I just want to be my normal self again which will take time but I need to man up and understand I will not be ok for a couple days I will be dopesick but I can beat this. I&#39;m going to continue to work through it all. I used this morning so we will work on tomorrow. Thank you for your reply

[motye51]

One statement I heard very early on that helped me tremendously....
Your ability to not stop is NOT a moral deficiency...we are good people, we are just stuck in the cycle of addiction. It's just hard to see it when you're stuck in it.  Addiction has NOTHING to do with being weak, a bad person, NOTHING!!!  Just get ok with not being ok for a while....we don't die....

[motye51]

Get back up, dust yourself off, and try again!!!  Alot of people relapse.....it's part of alot of people's story.  Luckily, you didn't let it go too far, so I'm assuming a week or two, so stopping shouldn't be super bad.  
There's one thing I remember from when I was w/ding that stuck with me....we've GOT TO GIVE OURSELVES A BREAK!!!  You can't expect to use for years and quit successfully overnight.  I wanted it to be the way I wanted it to be.....it wasn't :(
Also, try not to think to far into the future....we can future trip which can make this journey seem impossible...don't look at Saturday, look at today, Monday, what can you do today to not use.
Keep posting!!!  Are you still going to N/A?

[DannyD1123]

I've been on this journey for about a year and some change now. I started out thinking this was all fun and games smh I'm just so angry with myself. But I'm happy I have a place to vent and get support...still going to NA. I'm also going to quit drinking to because I see a big correlation between these pills and when I drink so I may add AA back into that even though I don't have a problem with drinking but I think It wouldn't hurt...today will make about two weeks I've been binging on pills because my teeth hurt me. What am I going to about my surgery though that's what I'm really afraid about. I mean this whole ordeal is just crazy to me. One day one hour at a time. Thanks for the support... I'm cleaning house and going to hop in the shower and study to keep occupied

[motye51]

OK.....so N/A will cover both addictions, no need to go to both....imo, pick one and stick with it. Addiction is addiction...it's not the specific substance, it's a disease we have in our brains, called addiction.  Drinking, which to me lowers inhibitions, while trying to stay off of drugs, is more than likely not going to work.  You must try to clean your system of everything....EVERYTHING mood altering....you say you don't have a problem with drinking...buttttt....addicts are addicts with anything they think is pleasurable.  We want MORE!!  I have the disease of MORE PLEASE!!!!  lol  I'm the jerk that after a night of blowing an 8ball....I'm trying to get everyone's morning bump off of them!  I just don't stop!  For me, the fun and games were over.....I stopped getting a high buzz a long time ago....I had to use to wake up, to drive my kids to school, to go to work, to NOT BE SICK....but we don't start out that way???  You know, as far as oral surgery.....I would talk to my dentist and tell them, I am an addict, I am in alot of pain though, make a plan of attack....doctors more and more are starting to help with this situation.  I tell all of my drs upfront....I am an addict...it's written in my chart....I put safeguards out there to help me.  
You have to really want this....more than anything you've ever wanted your entire life.....and you don't have to look down the road at not using....just do it today.  We will tackle tomorrow, tomorrow.