Kicking a Terrible Habit...Need Help

[SmokeyMcDude]

   I smoked my last balloon at 4A.M. last night. I was doing about 3 a day for 5 months. I saw a doctor today and unfortunately, she was not very sympathetic to my situation. (I do live in Utah and most citizens, let alone MD's are Mormon so I wasn't expecting much of anything.) I have all the workings for the Thomas Recipe, Librium and 1 Xanax pill (from earlier scripts), Mineral Suppliments, Fish Oil, L-Tyrosine, B-6 and even some Melatonin to help me sleep. (which I doubt I will) I am feeling totally and utterly drained and my entire body aches, I have another balloon but I really don't want to get into it. I am literally inches away from the toilet trying to drop it in.
   Anyway, I was never an addict of anything before I had hand surgery about 7 months ago. I would describe myself as having a hippie mentallity (weed, beer, LSD and mushrooms are all ok) but when I got a Vallium script I was introduced to a world I'd never experienced before (and wish I hadn't) Needless to say the Vallium didn't last long and heroin is becoming ever popular in my state and also easier to get a hold of. For 10$ a balloon I thought I could spend everyday getting peeled back with no problem. WRONG! I felt like I was slowly slipping away and I couldn't get a grip on my life anymore, I haven't lost my job (yet) and just want to get back to my old life-loving self. I have lined up many trips and festivals this summer and don't want to be dependent on smack to have fun at Telluride. (which is more fun that this brown **** anyway.)
Basically I have some questions:
-Does booze help the withdrawal symptoms? I never had a problem with alcohol as I have a very sensitive stomach but would a couple of beers calm me down? I would think that and Librium would be a recipe for sleep but I don't want to over do it.
-Also does weed help at all? I have a nice bong and a satchel to burn through but I don't want to exacerbate my symptoms.
-When should I take my Xanax? After 2 days or on the 2nd day? Basically when is going to be the worst because it's really bad right now and I don't know how it could get worse.
Any secrets that the Thomas recipe hasn't told me would be greatly appreciated, I'm getting really down on myself and considered shooting a lethal dose rather than going through this hell on more than one occasion. Any help would be appreciated.

[kris123]

I use to do coke and when i was getting off of it i was like you inches away from the  toilet trying to flush the rest of it - i did it and it felt so great - i know it is hard - just toss it you will feel so much better or at least i did but i don't know what the withdrawels are going to be for you. once you do it it is gone and what did it to make you feel good for a little while and then you feel like **** for hours and days -

[JAXX55]

I don't know much about Heroin, I was coke and meth. However, I do know people who have struggled with that demonic, hellish drug, and I can only suggest you seek professional medical help to detox. From what I know detoxing on your own can be very dangerous for a drug as strong as heroin. If you get the help you need NOW, you can get clean in a safe way, go on your trip CLEAN, you won't need beers, bongs, or any other B's.... AND, you'll regain your will to live.... Once all this is said and done, you will be so grateful you didn't waste your time trying to go it alone. Just suck it up and go to the nearest rehab, get yourself clean and move on to a healthier, and happier life..... Trust me IT IS NO FUN TO TRAVEL ANYWHERE trying to hide your dope!!! Looking back, I was just plain stupid. And that's just it---I'm NOT stupid, so I got clean. End of Story.... Good Luck Bud!  =)

[cathy5841]

WOW, YOU ARE ONLY 21...you have so much life ahead of you.  i am very proud of you for making the discision to take your life back...you are doing great...press on...keep your eye on the prize of freedom.
i will chec on you again soon.
cathy

no, i have no life and they pay me really good at work, and they give me very little to do. lol

[SmokeyMcDude]

Thanks Cathy, It means a lot. I'll try to get out today but so far, the only thing on my list is watching No Country for Old Men and the million dollar Price is Right tonight.
To Gobig: Librium is about in the middle, Vallium and Kolonopin are long acting Librium is in the middle but much more subtle than the rest and Ativan and Xanax are the short (more dangerous and potentially abusive) ones. Librium doesn't hit you like a Xanax or a Vallium would but it's very noticeably calming. I think the real term for it is Clordiazepoxide, you can look it up. Apparently it's mostly used for alcohol withdrawals but I figured it couldn't hurt me as the Thomas recipe said it's better than Ativan or Xannys.

[cathy5841]

hey smokey, glad you got some sleep.  now i know you feel like you can not drag your body, but if you would try just a short wwalk it helps speed up the process....come on you can do this....if not today maybe tomorrow.  just hang tight, you will turn the corner soon, you wont be well over night, but better enough to have hope.....i will check on you soon.
cathy

[Gobig]

Thanks for the Librium heads up - not that I'll be taking any - didn't realize it was a benzo - is it short acting or long?