Avatar universal

Length of Withdrawals

I am trying really hard to get and stay clean, but I seem to fall back every time. I understand this cycle and despise it yet find myself back in it every time. I began taking opiates 30 years ago - Lortab 7.5's, progressed to oxycodone, methadone, and back to the roxies. I tried the subutex for 2 and 1/2 months weaning myself off because I so wanted to be clean. The subutex was the worst I think and found myself back on roxies and opanas because of the horrible wds. I am completely out of ideas. The physical wds are far easier than the emotional and mental ones. I have no idea what normal is like, but so want to know and live. I was put on medicines because of a car accident which broke my back in 3 places, then 5 years later had surgery to replace two collapsed vertabraes in my neck. But, I do not need pain medicines for pain. I am addicted to them. Does anyone have any advice or words for me as to getting and staying clean. I have been in rehabs, counseling, and support groups. Tried NA, church and other things. The one thing I do know and believe is that only God can deliver me and keep me okay. He keeps His end of the deal. It is me that fails on my end. Please don't lecture me, just if anyone has been where I am and overcame, please advise. Thanks so much.
5 Responses
Avatar universal
I to did not know what normal was like over the last twenty years. see I am a heroin addict clean for 133 days. now I know what normal is, but it takes hard work and aftercare. I used to relapse everytime I started to withdraw, anything to take the weird feelings away. but when I done my last detox and stuck with it. everytime I stayed clean I knew I was another day toward feeling normal. now I feel great get 8 hours sleep enjoy my days and keep myself occupied. so you can do it too everyday you feel ill is another day back to normality it can be done. good luck my friendyou got to want it bad though god bless    James
1881798 tn?1339680233
"What got you here won't get you there" This is a title to a book, but it is a great concept. Steadily thinking of the past and "mourning your addiction" will keep you in the cycle. You will need to completely change your thinking, your actions, and beliefs. Everyday, wake up and say I'm moving forward today, I'm strong and no longer need pills. Every. single. day. you need to move forward. You'll have to radically change how you think about life and addiction. Living in the past and "what use to be" or "what doesn't work" will only keep you in circles. Best of luck, you can do this.
4522800 tn?1470325834
Hello & Welcome to our Community.
I really like the advice you got from our family members above.

I hear YOU loud and clear, about giving it back to our God and then slipping back into the darkness. That guilt right there can eat you alive!!I I had done that for over 40yrs. I started in the later 60s, so the environment had a big role here. I could always walk away until the hydo/oxys lead me up to having Methadone prescribed for pain. I too did not need it anymore for pain. I added Adderral, that I got from the streets, and was snorting them together. Then I would take a benzo to come down. This time I could NOT walk away. I now know more about Addiction and what happens in our Brain. This has helped me understand big time. So does going to Church and AA/NA. This time around, I have REALLY surrendered it back to my God and I am doing the Work for him.
We can surrender this to our Father, Son and the Holy Spirit, but WE have to do the Foot Work. Have you tried changing your playmates, playground?? There is SO much to staying clean. The detox is over soon, but it is the Work we have to do to stay that way. We have a disease and like any other one, we need support.  Maybe check out some AA. I have not drank booze in over 12 or more yrs, but I find AA way more spiritual for me. I still go to NA too. I have also had many talks with my Pastors. YOU just need to be willing to do the work and make many, many changes in your life. It is not a easy road but it is so worth it. No more wasting money, going far away and waiting to buy some pills, running out all the time. That right there is a big plus when you stay clean. The game that came with it is over. YOU are the one that has to want it BAD enough to do all the work that is needed to stay on the right track. I sure do Pray that You will find a way.
Avatar universal
Hi.....well I second everything Vic said....for this addict  the N/A progam is working  ....I to kinda went to meetings but never really turned  my life over to the progam for some time....since I have  I have got a sponcer work the 12 steps have a service commitment and go to lots of meetings   it is the right combination to keep you clean  it is the only progam that I know of where with time and working the progam you will loose the very desire to use......something I thought was impossible.....dont write this progam off b/4 you give it your all...it may just save your life...........keep posting here for support
Avatar universal
I'm on my 8th day an I pray for energy I just want to feel normal but for headaches I live by Excedrin migraine they are the best ever an I read everyday all these posts an all of you keep me strong...
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