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Lessons I've Learned
The most important lesson I have learned so far is to never get too far up or too far down. On day 18 I feel better then I have physically in a long time. I have already been tested and passed with flying colors. (Mom had surgery had to give her meds) Mentally it has been tough. I have been lucky to have no cravings but as I fight to regain my old self it becomes a total battle within. Depression is awful, lets face it. I had a really good day last week followed by 3 really bad days. I took this the wrong way and it really put me in a funk for a while. Yesterday was a new "best" day and today is bad again. The big difference for me is I was prepared this time. I told myself to expect it and be ready for it so the low points wouldn't seem so low. It worked. I'm hoping my experiences help somebody out there that is going through the same thing I am. Don't get too discouraged if your healing isn't a steady climb. There will be drop offs, just don't let them seem like more then they are, a "blip".
I can only hope that today's highs are tomorrow's lows, and if they are not then I will find away to get through today and on to the next. Good luck to everyone taking control of they're life and kicking this thing.
You can do it. Trust me.
I can only hope that today's highs are tomorrow's lows, and if they are not then I will find away to get through today and on to the next. Good luck to everyone taking control of they're life and kicking this thing.
You can do it. Trust me.
I woke up this morning feeling much better. The craving is there but I am able to shake it pretty easily. I have decided not to take any Suboxone today unless I absolutely feel like I need to. Both myself and my husband haven't felt the desire to take any yet. Mornings are the worst as when I used, the 1st thing I'd reach for was my "fix." I feel strong, still a little cloudy, but getting there. It feels good. Keep it up everyone!!
Sad its awesome and SO important that he has you in his corner. You 2 will come out of this stronger then ever. Please feel free to post a new question to the board if you need any specific information on your situation. The people here are great!
Good luck!
Good luck!
My husband is only on day 1 of tapering off oxy. I am helping him get through this. I just wanted to say thank you for all the posts on emotions. I am new to this addition world and it is so helpful for me to read what he has and will be going through mentally. Keep up the good work everyone you are all amazing!
I would have to think that the worst physical part for you is over. You were taking pretty small amounts even though for a long time. Congrats on 7 days my friend, its a big accomplishment.
Stay focused!!
Good luck !!!
Stay focused!!
Good luck !!!
have 7 dys. today. used 5/500 1-2 a day. if reallystressed 3 a day (rare) for past 3 yrs. Feel better wonder if the worst is over?
thats exactly how i feel myself! I dont even know "who" myself really is i have not have a clear head or been clean of opiats for several years now and I am looking forward to seeing how that feels!! Good Luck!
Having the pre- existing depression and anxiety and both of those being effects of withdraw is like a double whammy! My anxiety is through the roof!
It's day 4 for me and I feel different emotions every hour it seems. The first 2 days I cried, then got angry, now I just feel like I'm existing, no emotion. But who knows, in an hour I will probably feel something different. I have been diagnosed with anxiety, PTSD & bi-polar and am not taking any med's. I was on Xanax. I do have a few Valium, Ativan & Klonopin for anxiety and my bi-polar med's, but am unsure if I should take anything but the sub for now. I want to get my head clear and see what it feels like to just be me, but I don't even know "me."
Yep, you're bouncing around in the muddy off-road ruts and ditches right now, but soon you'll be on the interstate. Keep driving, honey! --Margaret
I'm gonna make it there Northeast :) make sure you check back with me in ten days, Ill be where you are now (zero doubts) lol & you will be even better!! <3
I did read something from a doctor that said that the only way people get get off these drugs is by using the power of their brains. You are going through the same symptoms I have been through and it is no easy path. We have to try as hard as we can to keep our brains focused on getting through, knowing that it will pass, that we will make it, that we are choosing life..a clean life.. let it come at us with all of its horrors as well as wonders..and we will use our own brains to deal with it versus escape with the help of "medicine" that actually destroys us. Good luck. Blessings. Hang in there. Hang in there!!!
Thanks little and congrats to you too. I have no doubts that a better me are on the way. Just can't wait is all!!!!
Keep at it~!
Keep at it~!
I am where you are I think. Good days, bad days! Today is a good one, the cravings come and go and I let them. I like what bama said about being a different person because of the addiction. That really makes sense. I guess being tested is just one of those ways fate has to check up on us! LOL Glad you are passing those tests.
Everyone thanks for all of your insights. I'm determined to get through this and I know I will. Had to run to Pharmacy for my mom just now due to Doc's changing her meds to Oxy 15. (her surgery had a few complications, nothing bad.) All I could do was sit there and laugh to myself how funny life is. My mom knows everything going on and is in the medical field. She hated to ask me but there was truly nobody else. My mother is a recovering Alcoholic(15 years) and she HATES pills. It honestly 100% didn't bother me, just made me kinda laugh, shake my head and say "your funny" while looking up at the sky. as the tech handed them to me.. Another day, another test.
Such is life!!!!
Queen Congrats on your 7 days!!! From where you are to where i am is only 10 or so days but wait until you get here!!! WHAT A DIFFERENCE!!!!! Keep Crankin!!!
Bama I just started taking prozac 20mg for the last week. Havent seen a change yet but I am hopeful for the coming weeks. Thanks for your kind words.
It is so comforting to know that I have all of you rooting for me. Thank you all so much for your kind words.
Such is life!!!!
Queen Congrats on your 7 days!!! From where you are to where i am is only 10 or so days but wait until you get here!!! WHAT A DIFFERENCE!!!!! Keep Crankin!!!
Bama I just started taking prozac 20mg for the last week. Havent seen a change yet but I am hopeful for the coming weeks. Thanks for your kind words.
It is so comforting to know that I have all of you rooting for me. Thank you all so much for your kind words.
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There will be good days and there will be bad days, the important thing is how you get thru the bad ones now. Staying true to you will get you thru these. I have found now that i look at what is driving the bad times and figure out what part if any i play in it. Then i go from there. I have a tendancy to take on more stress than i need, especially when it isnt even mine to stress about. I work on that daily. Just keep moving forward, the good days will soon out weigh the bad ones. sara
Great job NE!!! I think also you are handling it well, because let's face it, everyone even non addicts has bad days too. Ours will become fewer & less often though, as long as we feel good about our choice to stay clean today. Proud of you!!! I'm on day 7, my first real try at getting off opiates & I'm so glad. Best thing I've ever done for myself and my children. Congrats!!!
Wow, I'm in the same situation. Yesterday, I thought can I possibly be feeling this good during detox and without meds. I'm just overthinking the situations. I keep telling myself "Live in the Moment." I know the bad days are coming, and I'm anxious about it.
you are taking things in the right way... it is true that we'd better focus on the good day when it happens and be ready to have a different kind of day the day after... this is not a straight ahead road but it does get better... i felt really bad at six months with anxiety and so but i felt much, much better at one year mark.. GOOD LUCK :)
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im proud of you not using around the medicine..good job. and glad you passed.
when we use drugs for a long length of time we re wire our brain....we change the chemicals in the brain. and it takes time to reset our brains. we want to feel GOOD RIGHT NOW...but we didn't get sick in a day or week or month...so how come we think we can instantly feel GOOD again? does that make sense? studies show it takes a month for every year to heal our brains completely...now if that's the case it would take me a year to fix my brain...wow. long long time in my opinion. but i turned the corner around the two to three month mark.
we tend to think all we have to do is detox and the rest will fall into place...it unfortunately doesn't work that way...i battle depression before i did pills. so my depression kicked into overdrive after i stopped....so i had to double my anti depressant up. and also add abilify to my daily regiment from pills...also exercise helps a lot. even if its just walking around my yard. or physical therapy.
do you take an anti depressant? rember we are having to learn to live opiate free. we numbed our emotions so long we don't know what we feel. we don't know what to think...we are recovering. key word recovering...you've got to allow yourself to be not ok. everyday can't be the best day...everyday won't be the worst day either.
and another thing..if your like me i had so many negative thoughts following detox...guilt shame anger anxiety. heck i don't know how to cope with stress that well...hence why i used and abused my pills. so there isn't a right or wrong answer or a right or wrong feeling...it is what it is.
we also tend to expect too much from ourselves. we tend to overthink this thing called addiction. we tend to want our good feeling to start the day after detox. not gonna happen. so don't worry...we've all been there. find what works for you..might be a anti depressant..exercise eating health..talking about things..all of this. and remember to be kind to yourself now...don't expect too much from yourself right now...i learned in rehab it takes 90 days to make or break a habit. it takes 90 days to sort all the stuff out..so keep shooting for 90 days...thats why we say 90 days with 90 meetings. at first i didn't believe that. but now i do. again recovery is a self discovery journey. along the way we find things out about ourselves we covered up for so long...we find ourselves too.
i wanted to get my old self back..but we can't get our old self. we are not the same person anymore. we added addiction to ourselves..and now i am me again..i am a new me. a better me. a survivor. i am wiser now. you will find your way too. this isn't a race to feel great in a day week or month...i cried for the first month just about everyday. my emotions were all over the place. i didn't laugh for a month either...i just existed. some days were good some bad. and just like straight people...nobody has a great day everyday...if that was so what would we have to look forward too.
again remember your recovering...and just ride it out..tomorrow is a new day. so is today. and most of all be gentle with yourself. be kind. you'll get there. i know you will. i have faith in you. hope that this helped....hugs bama