Losing my resolve

[Cantdothisanymore]

not sure if i am posting this right. but on my earlier post I mentioned a call  about available vics..... its haunting me - how do I not give in? they were always so hard to get and now here they are practically f'ing gift wrappppppped! 6 days?   will it be this bad again if i give in for just a day or two?

[Cantdothisanymore]

see what I mean. noone talks to me on this post as i am always on sads post. it helps but seems i get a little forgotten. oh woahs me....sorry feeling a little left out.

[Cantdothisanymore]

hi all - wow its funny. i worry so about sad that i never really seem to post on my own thread. work was cool today. life is taking that turn for the better - i know this but i also know the cravings are killing me and i really believe that i will crash and burn - i have stayed strong twice - when i had a chance to score. not sure that 3 would be the charm for me. i think if i had 'em - i'd take 'em. am i alone with that awful realization?

[sunshine1109]

Way to go!!!!  You seem much better than earlier thats a good thing...so work tomorrow well thats good you will be busy catching up on all that work....I wish ya the best tomorrow and Ill be thinking and praying for you....youre gonna be A-OK.....Just remember like I always tell myself "One Day At a Time"....just keep on keeping on...Peace..

[Dav125]

Good job, glad to hear the day turned out better than you were thinking this morning. The timing with going back to work couldn't hit at a better time. Tommorrow you get something different to think about and keep your mind occupieed. Little by litte the thoughts of the pills will become a distant memory..I'm happy for you Cantdoit. Your going to make it..

Sleep well.

[Cantdothisanymore]

Going to try to rest. back to work tomorrow after this 8 weeks of living hell ( my last 9 clean days especially) but have to be up at 4:30 am and I am tired.

wanted you to know that day 9 - not so bad.  heres hoping 10 goes better.

night all.

[gnarly_1]

HI good to here your day got better...you will have days like this some good some bad some a little of both....you have to remember when your high on the pills every day is a ''artificial'' good day we think everything is fine when its not....you have to learn to embrace life on life's terms and that includes some bad days along with the good ones...right now your in the emotional stage of recovery...every little thing is going to light up your emotions some will be joyful some will seam like moments of dispare ...tears will flow easily and you wont have control over it...this is all normal for where your at right now just hang in there...remember your self talk when the cravings come around...I cant over emphasize enough on the importance of aftercare...NA/ or A/A would be a good place to start ...you will be around people that have been threw what you are going thew as well as people just starting out..you wont feel so lonely
having  support makes all the difference this forum is a help but you need more
YOU CAN DO THIS  just keep telling yourself that but also take the proper steps to make it happen....you got to want it bad...so bad your willing to go out of your comfort zone to get the help you need...trust me the meetings will really help you...you will always have us and we all want to see you succeed keep posting and reading the posts good luck and God bless.....Gnarly