Aa
45 days today :)
I guess this is sort of a milestone :) it is for me anyway I have never made it past 30 days before and it's two weeks from 60 soooooo.
45 days cold turkey (at home) from all sorts of crazy amounts of pain pills and IV heroin.
For anyone starting out or wondering yes it does get better. For realz. The withdralws are an agonizing hell but it lets up and the clouds do split and there is sun coming. I cannot describe how bad it was for me so believe me I know. You are not alone and you CAN get through it.
As for me @ 45
I have to say I believe around 40 or so days I kind of turned another corner. One thing I did change about a week before 40 days was I stopped taking ANYTHING for sleep. No tylonol pm and no klonopin. I was taking about a half a klonopin a night maybe 5 days a week. I stopped that stuff and it felt like I had been set back to about week 3 for about 5 days! I have zero chance of abusing benzos but I wanted to be off of them anyway. And I think after they left my system I started feeling WAY better. Maybe just coincidence but I noticed a change around the 40 day mark. So now I am walking almost every day usually 3 or more miles right now. I will increase this as I get stronger. My legs do not feel all weak anymore. I have more energy back coming from walking. I am also starting to reel it in with eating. I am eating much better foods and not so much. I am really pouring myself into getting into top physical shape. Well not pouring but DEDICATED LOL. I still get total crashed at night but only after lots of excercise on the same day. But hey at least I am sleeping! Sleep is a little broken but that's ok. Stomach problems are still there a little but no biggie. Sneezes are less and less. Crazy brain is really leveling out now. Not so many highs and lows. Although I kind of miss those super crazy highs where I feel Invincible (for like 3 minutes lol). Nervousness and adgitation is settling down nicley.
I'm not 100% yet but man I am a helluva lot better now!
Sex drive is still A OK :))) I can last more that 8 seconds now compaired to he first month :). Almost back to full control :)
Passion is back
Music is a godsend again
Laughing a LOT now
Much much nicer to be around
Don't have to worry about spending all my $$ of drugs and always trying to line up fixes. Now I am plannig what time I will mow my grass tonight so I can let my wife know to plan dinner and maybe squeeze in a park visit with my little son.
Life is getting back 2 good.
So that's my update. Hope it helps :)
45 days cold turkey (at home) from all sorts of crazy amounts of pain pills and IV heroin.
For anyone starting out or wondering yes it does get better. For realz. The withdralws are an agonizing hell but it lets up and the clouds do split and there is sun coming. I cannot describe how bad it was for me so believe me I know. You are not alone and you CAN get through it.
As for me @ 45
I have to say I believe around 40 or so days I kind of turned another corner. One thing I did change about a week before 40 days was I stopped taking ANYTHING for sleep. No tylonol pm and no klonopin. I was taking about a half a klonopin a night maybe 5 days a week. I stopped that stuff and it felt like I had been set back to about week 3 for about 5 days! I have zero chance of abusing benzos but I wanted to be off of them anyway. And I think after they left my system I started feeling WAY better. Maybe just coincidence but I noticed a change around the 40 day mark. So now I am walking almost every day usually 3 or more miles right now. I will increase this as I get stronger. My legs do not feel all weak anymore. I have more energy back coming from walking. I am also starting to reel it in with eating. I am eating much better foods and not so much. I am really pouring myself into getting into top physical shape. Well not pouring but DEDICATED LOL. I still get total crashed at night but only after lots of excercise on the same day. But hey at least I am sleeping! Sleep is a little broken but that's ok. Stomach problems are still there a little but no biggie. Sneezes are less and less. Crazy brain is really leveling out now. Not so many highs and lows. Although I kind of miss those super crazy highs where I feel Invincible (for like 3 minutes lol). Nervousness and adgitation is settling down nicley.
I'm not 100% yet but man I am a helluva lot better now!
Sex drive is still A OK :))) I can last more that 8 seconds now compaired to he first month :). Almost back to full control :)
Passion is back
Music is a godsend again
Laughing a LOT now
Much much nicer to be around
Don't have to worry about spending all my $$ of drugs and always trying to line up fixes. Now I am plannig what time I will mow my grass tonight so I can let my wife know to plan dinner and maybe squeeze in a park visit with my little son.
Life is getting back 2 good.
So that's my update. Hope it helps :)
Congrats! I wish and hope I can make it that far since I am going back to school to be a cop or accounting haven't decide but I will be something, I refuse to be nothing.
Yeah somtimes I stil can't believe I went through all that at home. Read my 30 day post if you want the bloody details :)
And thanks again for the support
And thanks again for the support
Hi, I loved your post and need it: I love reading that you kept trying and kept getting back up, but mostly NOW you like being sober. I soooo can't wait to get there. Are you amazed that not only do you have this amt. of time but that you feel good? Like did you think you'd never see the light? Cuz that's where my mind goes a lot (I'm only week and 1/2 in.) I never did H, so the fact you were doing IV herioin AND lots o' pills, and are now in this place is efffin amazing to me. Just amazing.
Random thoughts. Lots of great new music out not. Alice in Chains, Megadeth, and Filter. Filter is awesome
Congrats on 45 days
Congrats on 45 days
It's great to hear your doing good , just a few day ahaed of u I always wonder how the zombie crew is and wether u guys are healing as I am ! things are much better for me and I'm glad they are for u !! Congrads on 45 days you really are on your way to a good life ! having two boys myself they are the real winners out of all this and I'm sure all this will give your son a much happier life !!!!
Bro, you just don't have any idea how refreshing your post was to me. I'm at the end of my taper, and it's inspiring to see your success story. What I'm doing CAN be done, and you're living proof of it. No matter how tired you feel, just remember, it beats going back to that dark place. You own your life now. Keep posting, and most importantly, keep your guard up.
45 days is awesome! Congrats to you! I can't wait to say i have that many days. You are hanging tough, keep it up! Thank you for posting this...such an inspiration to those of us just starting out.
GOOD for you b2me... and I totally get that anger. It was a HUGE motivator for me early on too, and actually even to this day. Anger can be very effective when dealt with appropriately and constructively.
Congrats! I am right behind you at 43 or 44 and it feels so good! I am so proud of you, as you should be of yourself :). Keep kicking those thoughts away with a steel toe boot when they Ty to slide in! You are doing awesome! Keep up the good work!
Good for you back2me....you are living up to your nickname...just keep it going and you will just keep feeling better and better.....
Not beaten. Just meaner and more pissed off at the crap than I have ever been. That's what I meant by having it by the azz. I know it will always be there waiting and lurking the second I let my guard down and I know I will always have this devil. But I'm treating this like its my mortal enemy an enemy that I have to stay above and beat into the ground or it will get me. The devil just met its fu$king match you know. Kind of like that. Every time I even think about using I think about that. I think there is no fu$king way you are beating me anymore. I Seriuosly don't believe I have ever been this pissed off at anything in my life. The cravings try to trick my mind but this time it's different. My wife and family are PIT BULLS now when it comes to making me accountable and so am I. I am a seriously stubborn emmer effer when I want to be and when it comes to this it's a WAR I am waging.
Right now seeing a therapist and focusing on fitness and throwing myself into that. Also work, I am focusing on that as well. No meetings yet. I have a ton of people to talk to now but I'm not excluding it from my future plans at all. I will start lifting again real soon and that will keep me straight as well. I cannot and will not let anything get in the way with my life anymore. And I have to have these other things to give me goals and keep me focused. Or else I will be bored. And we all know what that leads to.
Thanks for all the kind words :) you all mean a lot to me.
Right now seeing a therapist and focusing on fitness and throwing myself into that. Also work, I am focusing on that as well. No meetings yet. I have a ton of people to talk to now but I'm not excluding it from my future plans at all. I will start lifting again real soon and that will keep me straight as well. I cannot and will not let anything get in the way with my life anymore. And I have to have these other things to give me goals and keep me focused. Or else I will be bored. And we all know what that leads to.
Thanks for all the kind words :) you all mean a lot to me.
Just be careful with that thinking - and please understand I mean this in the nicest way - but that thinking about having this addiction by the azz? That kind of thinking can be dangerous. We're always going to have to keep our guard up, and I can tell you from personal experience, the moment I start thinking I have this beaten is the moment I get a craving.
Are you involved in some kind of aftercare? That will help you handle those cravings by learning how to cope with them when they occur. :)
Are you involved in some kind of aftercare? That will help you handle those cravings by learning how to cope with them when they occur. :)
Wow...Your life sounds almost, well, normal! And ain't it grand?
Many, many congratulations. Sounds as if you came back from a pretty dark place. Be proud of what you've done and what your doing. Twist the ol arm around there and pat yourself on the back. Fantastic post; very inspirational. I hope that everyone reads this, especially the new people.
Thank you so much for being here.
K
Many, many congratulations. Sounds as if you came back from a pretty dark place. Be proud of what you've done and what your doing. Twist the ol arm around there and pat yourself on the back. Fantastic post; very inspirational. I hope that everyone reads this, especially the new people.
Thank you so much for being here.
K
That's so awesome to hear!! You have come off of some hard core substances and you should be so proud of yourself!!! I'm so happy to hear that your family life is getting better and you seem to be making up for lost time with your wife and son...our families suffer right along with us, just in different ways, and it is imperative that we first fix our relationship with our most loved ones. Be so proud of how far you have come... I can tell from your post that you truly feel the benefits of quitting (especially the returning libido....nice ;) that kind of enthusiasm means you really have an awesome chance to continue down the right path and kick this habit in the ***. Keep it up for you and your family, I can tell you from personal experience that your wife especially is so happy with you and your efforts....keep it up!!!!!
Yeah thanks! I have been staying on guard. To be honest I had not had a craving at all for the first 40 days except for one rough day doing yard work. But after around 40 I have had a few sneak in my brain. Not craving H not whatsoever but mostly the good ol "boy a Vicodin or perc would feel great right now" kind of crap. A few of them have been kind of strong. I have just been pushing those thoughts out and telling myself look at how good you are doing you man you have this thing by the AZZ! And I also think of how everybody will feel especially my wife. I will feel like I let her down and I don't want to do that. And I won't lie to her i never have so she would know. And I tell her about the cravings if I have them. It's tuff at times and I'm sure it will get tuffer but maybe it will also get easier! Maybe.
Hey, bro! Great to see this post. Most Excellent in every respect. Couldn't agree more about the benzos, the music, the laughter & just being a generally nicer person to be around. (I'm talking about my experience, naturally!) Anyway, Congrats, congrats, congrats on kicking the H! Don't look back, 'Guard Up' & protect it at all costs! Rock On!
Hey old friend! I am so glad to hear that all is well in your corner of the world! Congrats on 45 days! That is huge and I am right behind you. I always love reading your posts. You are a very inspiring person. You are doing great, so just keep rockin' and rollin'!
Isn't it great to feel "normal" again and go back to doing those regular things we used to do? I was SO happy to be cooking again, cleaning again (not that I was ever all that messy, but you know what I mean), returning to full-time work and feeling good about my performance. Just a regular routine and it felt so great.
And my husband couldn't be happier to know he can once again rely on me. That I will do what I say I'm going to do, and if I don't, I have a reasonable and logical explanation (and an honest one for that matter) for why I didn't get something done. And that I remember EVERYTHING now (ok maybe he would prefer I not always remember everything? lol). But still, being sober is a high unlike no other. Just high on feeling proud again. And to feel hopeful about tomorrow again is a HUGE gift. And one that I will never ever take for granted again.
Kudos my friend. 45 days - fantastic!
And my husband couldn't be happier to know he can once again rely on me. That I will do what I say I'm going to do, and if I don't, I have a reasonable and logical explanation (and an honest one for that matter) for why I didn't get something done. And that I remember EVERYTHING now (ok maybe he would prefer I not always remember everything? lol). But still, being sober is a high unlike no other. Just high on feeling proud again. And to feel hopeful about tomorrow again is a HUGE gift. And one that I will never ever take for granted again.
Kudos my friend. 45 days - fantastic!
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