Mental Withdrawals

[lost1427]

Hello all,
I am 24 days clean of vicodin and the mental withdrawals are horrible I feel like I can't function without a pill. I feel that I will never be normal,free and able to enjoy life. I am sure the fact that I'm going thru a separation doesn't help things either. I am feel like these pills have taken ahold of me. I almost feel like giving up but I also don't like who I am on this but at least time passes when I'm on them. I am so mentally drained. Help please

[lost1427]

Doesn't it feel like will it ever stop? Will I ever feel normal again? I just want to crawl out of my skin... I'm going to go to NA

[Ndhelp23]

So glad I found this blog... After 6 years of pills for a bad back, I finally said enough and stopped cold turkey (actually stopped suboxone) 14 days ago.. Really thought by now I would feel better, but the anxiety and back & leg pain is horrible still. I can relate to the lonely feeling, even though I have a wonderful husband and kids. I am Extremely lucky to have my families support but none of them ( even extended family) have ever had to go thru anything like this..so no one can truly understand the severe panic and pain involved. I too crawl the walls when everyone is at work or school... Just need someone who understands to talk to... I pray for everyone going thru this Hell!!!!

[lost1427]

I'm trying I really I'm its so hard. I know I won't touch a pill, but its hard I know I will thru, it will just take time and more effort on my part. Thank you all

[jstntime]

Hi there,

Loneliness is brutal when dealing with addiction.  When we use we are happy to push everyone away and hide in our little world and get wasted.  When we get clean and we get clarity, this lonely world no longer gives us comfort.

Also, many of the friends we DO have continue to use drugs and we have to stay away from them.

I really understand the comment about your daughter.  I am a single dad and when my kids would leave for a few days, I would be climbing the walls to stay home by myself.

NA is a great idea and I have to admit, though I go there to stay clean, the social aspect of meeting new friends who don't use and who understand me is the reason why I like it so much.

Addiction seemingly robbed me of my "social critter" personality but I've met some amazing people and have formed some great new friendships.  I'm learning to be my old self but I could never have done this sitting at home wishing I had handfuls of pills to eat.

Get out of your house so it doesn't become your prison.  24 days is AMAZING!!!!!!

Keep keeping!!!!

bob

[lost1427]

One of my friends in FL know however I am too ashamed to tell others I do go to NA but its in Marietta too far I need to find a local group. I have no friends I was going to go kayaking yesterday but I couldn't do it I was so determined to run a river up North and couldn't do it. And let me tell you my separation just isn't a separation I have been dealt some cruelty that as a human I could never do to another human, I mean I support my household, and let's say this person brought their lover to my house while I worked and u can figure out the rest, brought that doesn't touch the surface either. Brought the ladies family picture to the house, slept with my best friend and her husband. Total toxic and that's why I got clean. They have a pill addiction too and I knew eventually I would have to deal with my feelings. I am sure she's still on her pills they use to call and beg me for them since I have easy access. They are toxic. I'm sorry if too much information. I am so weak

[pattifan]

Hi Lost,

As Tramahater said, you're feelings are completely normal and they will subside.

You sound quite lonely. Do any of your friends outside the state know what you're going through just now? Just picking up the phone and having a chat can be a great help. Even if they don't know, perhaps you have a particularly close friend that you would feel able to open up to.

Congratulations on doing so well for so long!

Thinking of you

[OIFMc09]

It takes awhile to feel normal again and anxiety, cravings, and hopelessness are all part of it.  It will go away.  Get involved in your community(even though I know there is not much of a community feeling in Alpharetta).  Start exercising.  Go kayaking on that river that runs through 400 at about exit 5, what's it called again?  And NA is always a good idea, what harm can come of it?  It's a great place to go and get things off your chest and meet people that have lived your heartache and overcame it.  I know what you mean about the lonliness - every addict does.  But no matter how many activities you get involved in you will always face some alone time, and we need to learn to be okay with that.  For me that's the hardest part.

[lost1427]

Your comment brings music to my ears I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way. I have good days and bad days. Especially when I'm off work since my pill addiction I never took time to make friends in the state I live in. I have tons in Fl but not in GA so I'm alone except for my daughter is around she goes to her fathers every other weekend. She's my savior..So when I'm alone it hits home so much.....thank u

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  It's pretty normal to feel like you are.  I did!  It hangs on for a while.  Support or therapy will help.  Going to NA might help, because you would be around people with the same problems and see that they are doing well without drugs!  You have to try to take one day at a time.  Don't worry about the rest of your life without a pill.  Just deal with right now....and right NOW you are doing it!

It gets better!  Be patient!