Methadone Withdrawal at home 10mg started!

[BamaIndian]

I want to start off saying "Hello!". I've spent the last 72 hours reading this website. I've combed through countless threads (old & new), looking to see if my topic has been covered or answered. Either I haven't found it or it's never been posted.

It's taking a lot of guts for me to be honest, I mean - a lot. No one knows I'm on methadone. I have self medicated from a recovery off of pain pills. The semantics of how many pills, what kind - these no longer matter as methadone is what I'm dealing with. Of course, hindsight is that I should have toughed / braved the withdrawl from pills but, I was not ready to make the mental recovery. I am now.

I self medicated myself at 10mgs (wafer) in the AM, every day for 1 year. I'm done. I've moved to another state and again, no one knows. I have zero plans to get into the system here. We all have things we could lose so I won't go into some tirade how I'm more special than others. I'm not. We are all equal here. Regardless, my choice is a home detox. There is no chance for subs or bus. This is it folks.

I took my last 10mg wafer on Weds. It's now edging on Friday AM. I slept great of course Weds night, although I have strep and I'm not feeling over all great. I doubt I have symptoms of W/D now although I do hurt all over (like a body flu) and I'm having the shivers and chills. Again, it could be the flu but I've felt W/D before. I feel "gritty" all over and just achy. I didn't have this with my sore throat. I also am starting to feel "out of body". Nothing alarming. Nothing that's upsetting, if anything it's a relief in a sense because if I'm headed for anything I've read- I know these hours or this day is a precious rarity. I'm also due to get my monthly (Oh, I'm female) so that should add in a decent amount of pain. I swear, I picked the WORST time to cut myself off. Oh well. Is there ever a perfect time in ones life? Hardly.

Since I became sick 3 days before detoxing, it's already in the mindset of family that I'm "ill". I should be able to pass this one off. I work at home, although I'm a single mother. The kids are in school all day (and self sufficient too), I have nothing planned till next week (and it's nothing I can't cancel if need be.). What I didn't find much of an answer to, and while I know that you can't predict how bad it will be ; how bad is this going to be? ;)  Here's my "health" background.

33. No diseases, illness to report (other than being sick at the throat).  110 lbs, 5 ft 7

No depression other than general laziness from methadone. Wait, did anyone else become highly agitated while on it and anti social? Good god! Anyway..

Single (no one at home other than kids.)

work from home.

NO INSURANCE.

Here's my detox

As of right this second, I'm around 36 hours sober.

I was on 10mgs wafter of methadone (NOTHING ELSE)

I have no xanax etc here and personally I won't take it.

Going through this withdrawal I will only have my inner strength, imodium, Tylenol PM and vitamins. I've taken my vitamins, cut out red meat but ate well (I do anyway these days). I have bad back cramps from my period so that should be expected.

I feel:

1. Cold toes but warm hands and body

2. Constant chills

3. body aches (like the flu starting)

4.Oily in the face and skin (I've already taken a shower)

5. No hunger

I know that the average "kick in" time for w/d is 5 days. Is that expected too because of the 10mgs / 1 year?  As far as pain is concerned, I've read it's more depression and upset (plus body aches). Is this true? I found it so hard to find answers that would be near mine, everyone that I had read had the option of sub's, bus or began taking xanax etc/ heroin and I don't / won't have those options. This is it. I have the mentality of being "done" and while comfort meds are a god send, they aren't an option. The most I would accept would be something for anxiety as I'm prone to it and blood pressure meds. Again, neither are even close to optional. I don't have the reserve (funds) nor insurance at the moment. I just relocated and this is seriously it. How long will I be ready to rip out my hair? I don't have vital things to do but I'm staying busy and keep up with the house work while I can. I'm active as a parent so my days of being in bed or in a shower for long periods are rather limited. I did work out today (again, trying to get in while I can) and did some minor work.

Any advice, help or kind words are so badly needed. I've never told anyone other than my done suplier about this. It's very private for me and I want to come to terms with it too, not just w/d and bury the issue. I know what made me an addict and I will fight this temptation as long as I live. I'm not blind to this fact. My goal is to not waste anymore time or stall time I should say. I did live while on methadone and I did work on me. Everything is in the right place. I want to meet people now. I want to meet someone. I didn't want to do those things before, mostly because this issue is private and I didn't want to pull someone in on this. They wouldn't get "me" they would get a very hurt woman who's being dishonest. That isn't fair.

Just losing one dose has made my mood much more "even" and I'm definitely nicer. I don't feel good (being sick and w/d fear) but I'm not confused feeling or even preoccupied. It's nice although I'd like to feel together not w/d + sick with strep.

Okay, that's it. That's my novel. I'll check this frequently while I detox. I chose to sign up not just for selfish reasons but also so this thread will exist. If anyone ever is in my place, this will exist. They aren't alone.

[Imdonewithit]

I first would like to start out by saying, it's like "looking in a mirror". I identify with you over everything your saying. I too am living a double life. meaning, my grown children, family or friends know NOTHING about my secret addiction. I have been taking liquid meth for roughly 13 years. my supplier had lost his take homes and I was left without while taking 30mg a day. The w/d was nothing I had ever felt before., I believe I had even passed out in my shower., I went to the E.R. 2 x and they gave me a single dose of Ativan. I swore I would never ever go back to taking it but once I was finally free and clear, I ended up getting 100 mg a week, taking 30mg day 15 in the am and 15 in the evening. here I am 13 years later and i'm trying to detox while at home. I have brought myself down to 10mg a day, 5mg in the am and 5mg in the evening. this is the end of my second week. I'm feeling the effects of w/d but very mildly before I even get out of bed in the morning, nothing too bad but I can tell its from cutting down. They say once you go down to 10mg or below is when you start to feel it. I guess my fear is being so sick from it that my family notices. , and all the side effects I felt the last time. crawling out of my skin, chills, sweats, throwing, diarreah, no appetite. I'm hoping because i'm doing this slow and steady it won't be so bad., maybe a week or so of not sleeping. I plan on cutting back to 0.25mg every 2 weeks. yes, that's very slow. , but I heard it was the best way to go. I too, am not in a position to go to the Dr, as he is our family friend. I also work from home and don't have any insurance., I can't afford any subs., other than Excedrin pm and will have to rely on hot baths. I always remember that being comforting. I am now 52 years old and i'm just tired of feeling numb. I can't cry when I should, my emotions are off. I want to enjoy life now., and although I have been able to function while I've been on it., i'm just tired of running around with all of the energy and nowhere to go. it's a waste. i'm also getting menopausal and who knows what other health issues that arise as I age. I don't want to worry about mixing medications. i'm just done now. i'm tired of being controlled by it. can someone tell me if cutting back in such small doses over  two week periods will help w/ w/d? As I was saying, i'm not in a position to tell anyone I know what my life has been like and I have a tremendous amount of guilit as it is hiding it. I feel I can't carry on a new relationship because of it, and my past relationships have ended, i'm sure my absence of emotions played some part in it., no ALL of it, that's for sure. These posts are helping me by the way which is how I came to start weaning myself.

[ariley13]

Hi there and welcome! This is an old thread that you are posting on. If you go to the top of the page and hit the 'post a question' link you can tell your story and /or ask questions. That way you are sure to get all of the support, advice and encouragement that you deserve. Congratulations on making the decision to get clean and change your life! Good luck to you!

[cbarton2014]

I am gonna be going throught this soon like friday Nov.1st 13 . To be exact. I am on 10Mg Methadone daily. After reading all of this I am scared. Should I wing myself down more before getting off?

[Kayntooch]

Ween YOUR SELF DWN AS LOW AS 1 mlg UF U CAN. U was ON IT 5 years and was at 90 milagrams it took me 6 months to sleep more then 3/4 hrs a night . Weening is the best way vitamins stay away form coffee you'll go threw panic attacks for every year it takes a month drink a lot of Gatorade green lemon lime trust me that Gatorade n auger helps

[cbarton2014]

I am gonna be going throught this soon like friday Nov.1st 13 . To be exact. I am on 10Mg Methadone daily. After reading all of this I am scared. Should I wing myself down more before getting off?

[newlifetocome]

I HAVE CURRENTLY BEEN AT THE METHADONE CLINIC FROM US THREE YEARS I WAS UP TO 100 MILLIGRAMS, I HAVE COME DOWN OVER THE PAST SIX MONTHS AND I'M CURRENTLY AT 10 MILLIGRAMS...I DID NOT HAVE ANY SIDE EFFECTS FOR WITHDRAWS ABOUT COMING DOWN UNTIL I HIT THE 10 MILLIGRAM MARK AND NOW I'VE HAD A MIGRAINE FOR DAYS , EVEN KNOW I HAVE CONTINUED DOSING AT THE CLINIC EVERY DAY AT 10 MILLIGRAMS, I HAVE BEEN ACHING AND JUST FELT LIKE CRAP CAN I WALK AWAY FROM THE PLACE AT 10 MILLIGRAMS AND IF SO HOW LONG WILL THIS WITHDRAWAL OR NOT FEELING LIKE MY NORMAL HEALTHY SELF...AND WILL IT GET WORSE. HOW LONG WILL THIS LAST? I AM A SINGLE DAD WITH A 3YR GIRL AND CAN'T JUST LAY UP IN BED ALL DAM DAY.

[Kayntooch]

I was on methadone 5 years for every year it takes a month to with drawl  I did it cold turkey at 90 milagrams it took me 6 months

[NeedHelpNow321]

I know this is an old threadbut I was on methadone for 6.5 years.  30 mg's for a lil bit then 15 mg then 5mg for about 5 years.  was on 2.5 mg for a lil bit then when I went downto 1.5 mg on Monday and started having horrible anxiety attacks. Crying, ets.  Took nothing Tursday and have been having severe depression and physical w/d's.  How long should I expect the worst to last?  The1.5 mg did absoutely nothing for me!!

[BamaIndian]

Thank you Gnarly! Nothing to report as far as psychological. I'm just now considering going to the DR for help in the sleep department. I can't tell if I am having energy crashes as I'm going without much sleep so I always feel exhausted. I work 9 hours a day, traveling 2 hours both ways to work and I'm in high heels and busting my butt. I work very hard and strange hours too. I don't feel terrific but I also don't feel as bad as people kept claiming I would. I'm sure there are still detox like effects (beyond insomnia) taking place but for the most part I feel I'm 80% better. I have moments where I feel like garbage and gritty, but I don't pay it much mind and I stay occupied. I do have to say that I feel I chose the correct time of year to do this. I think if I decided to detox in the winter or fall, I would have failed to some extent. Because it's warm, the sun is out and summer is nearing - I wanted to feel better much quicker so i applied myself to the fullest. I wouldn't go back on methadone if they gave me all the money in the free world. I really wish they would make it harder for people to get it and require addicts who are fearing detoxing from opiates - a 10 day medical detox instead. Methadone has little to no advantage for the addict, I don't care what anyone has to say about it. It's easier to get through 72 hours of dope sick (with 5 days of recouping physically) then it is to go through essentially 20+ days of TOTAL detox with 2 months post with your body attempting to realign itself. I will maintain that it's not the answer, not even close.

[gnarly_1]

HI YOUR doing great!! if your up to snuff in 30 days your beeting the usual recourse with methadone the sleep thing is the last to return im really suprised you dident get hit with the energy crash but if not all the better just remember this stuff is cyclic so if you get hit with a few down days its normal and they will pass...I highly recommend N/A or one of the other support groups this is about the time the mind screw starts to mess with your head these groups will help with that comingo off this stuff you go threw stages its best to be ready for what it can throw at you again your off to agood start keep yu the good work cudos on your postive attitude it makes all the difference I wish you well in your recovery good luck and God bless......Gnarly
  

[BamaIndian]

Hey all, it's been 30 days as of today. Just a recap

1. insomnia still remains the beast of burden
2. Random detox smell when I sweat

that's it. I can't believe I white knuckled 30 days!

[BamaIndian]

I've noticed the cycling. I'm back to work on Monday (I teach ballet here now) . I have no worries about "wanting". I've not thought of it, in any capacity. I'm a bit of a unique ex "user". I don't smoke. I don't drink. I'm vegan and I can be around any narcotic and not care. If I feel a "need" I'll seek N/A. I"m not worried about my post recovery as much as I am just getting mobile.

I did take 1 xanax last night, slept 10 hours. I'm going to go without tonight - next Thursday. I've got pretty good self discipline and a stubborn mind lol. I'm also highly traumatized by the entire methadone withdrawal.

Symptoms? Since I slept 10 hours, I have zero. That's been my nightmare. I was out at a graduation and dinner last night for 6 hours. No problems to report.

[gnarly_1]

HI  dont know what causes the reaction in some people one of our members ''tramhater'' says its the antihistamine that cause it she is a wealth of info you my want to ask her....I also wanted to tell you methadone is very cyclic you will be feeling better then BAM it puts you down again this is fairly common so dont freak if it happens to you....your recovery is going really well im so happy for you the last few I have helped out have had relatively mild withdrawals .....this stuff is notorious for putting you down for 60 to 90 days thats whats beginning to make me think they have changed the formula just keep pushing forward and keep that positive attitude going on your doing good....now its time to start to look for some sort of aftercare b/4 the mind games start hang in there......Gnarly    

[BamaIndian]

Gnarly,

  Any idea what it is about the tylenol PM that causes the reaction? So friggin' weird! My dr gave me 7 day supply of xanax. I'm taking one tonight but saving the rest for anytime it's really bad. I don't want to take it 7 days in a row and my body get into a habit of some sort. I'm happy to sleep tonight! (provided it works).

[gnarly_1]

hi your not the first one to discover this theres 2 kinds of tylonaol pm one has an antihistimine in it and if you take that one you get the results you had its best to stick to melatonin or valarin root fro sleep.....I found the sleepytime tea sold at walmart to be about the best thing for sleep it comes in double tea bags use both with a little bit of sweetener 1/2 hr b/4 bed it worked good for me.............Gnarly

[BamaIndian]

Day 16

DO NOT TAKE tylenol PM while detoxing. Holy god did I feel like I was on day 3 at 4am again. Still not sleeping and it's starting to show.

That's it on complaints. Everything else is just fine (including energy)

[BamaIndian]

Day 15.

I'm completely OK. Still not sleeping and now I can't fall asleep till 7am! I'm going to the DR soon and getting a short script for it. Not ambien but possibly valium.

Otherwise

No pain
Tons of energy
no runs
no nervousness

I do have some weird anxiety, restless leg that starts at 3am each day and I have to take my blood pressure med for it but otherwise that's it. If I were already asleep I doubt I'd notice or care as it's very mild.

[BamaIndian]

Day 13

Im very calm and happy (rational), it's easy to go to bed now just not easy to stay asleep. Odd enough, I woke at around 3am to what felt like - full on day 3 withdrawals. Again, I'm pretty traumatized by this entire detox and I started to panic immediately. I was sweating, legs going crazy, headache, stomach churning, and my hair was soaked. I took a clondine and passed back out when the symptoms were relieved. I have a headache still and my stomach is messed up but otherwise I feel fine (I have allergies so I think that's a bulk of my issue).

Symptom checker for Day 13

1. the runs
2. some nervousness (I'm not on any anti anxiety meds)
3. mild headache
4. feverish sleep / sleeping only 4 hours still.

I had my first hot meal yesterday. 12 days it took. I was more than happy to eat!

[criminy1]

I read over this whole thread again and focused on your progress getting better and better. You rocked this!

[BamaIndian]

I wanted to leave a link to the med I was placed upon for detox. a life saver!
http://www.ehow.com/way_5517191_catapres-methadone-detox.html

[BamaIndian]

Day 12:

1. I've had the runs everyday since day 8. (I'm so backwards)
2. Weird swollen (not sore or sick) throat
3. slight headache.

I slept 4.5 hours then took a very long nap. I have gotten a total of 6 hours since midnight!! The longest sleep since day 2.

Swollen throat goes away after a bit, still freaks me out. I'm not vomiting so I'm not sure what's up with that.

I feel totally and completely normal. The energy is kicking back up. Yesterday was good, today is better. The day before yesterday was decent too.

I think it's safe to say day 10 + is when your energy will start to stabilize.

[BamaIndian]

Day 11 coming to an end! I have to be quick but I wanted to update.

1. Energy crash today but still did things happily
2. 4 hours of rest the night prior.
3. Anxiety when I sleep (the only time)
4. Hot flashed (when I'm trying to sleep)
5. No pain but a slight headache (prob allergies)

packed for NYC, watched a movie, cleaned the house and hung out with the kids. I'm myself emotionally and mentally again (and have been for 3 days). No depression or worry. I'm just "normal". Sleep is bothering me. I - want - it.

I took 1 clondine at 8pm. I had chills all day come and go (nothing big) and a stuffy chest feeling (anxiety). I just pushed through it. My goal is clondine at night till I can train myself to relax.

[BamaIndian]

Gnarly, I adore you! You're such a blessing around this website. Okay so we're on day 10. Last night around 11pm or so I had this clarity feeling. No weird fog or body pain, I felt - dare I say, normal? I couldn't sleep for anything but passed out around 5am and woke around 9:30 -10am. That's a lot of sleep at this point.

Im in a great headspace but anxious. Not a bad anxious and I'm sure a bulk of it is because I've not left this apartment in 7 days. I'm going stir crazy. I'll go outside tomorrow if I'm up for it. Right now I get cold too easily and it reminds me of the first few days. I swear I think I'm traumatized from this experience. Any chill, feeling or sneeze makes me freak out! I keep thinking "OH god! It's starting again!!" but thus far I'm still feeling back to good.

I did take 1 buspar to attempt sleep and had the worst anxiety ever. I couldn't breathe and felt really weird. I really think this med was contributing to some of my more intense mental and chest feeling issues. Because I'm not so sick right now, I'm keenly aware of everything (too much so). I noticed and noted all that I felt on the buspar. I'm done.

I only took 1.5 clodine yesterday. So far today 0 and i've been up and active for 5 hours. I do need it, I can tell my b/p is wonky but I'm attempting to just deal with it.

The one thing I want to bring up is the "anxious" feeling. It's not bad and it's not euphoric. In other words, it's normal. I feel alive. I think many people mistake this natural state of awareness as a burden or a disorder because they are so used to not feeling. We are supposed to feel. It's annoying when you want sleep but otherwise rather fine. I feel like I could burst out of my chest at times and that's when I know it's anxiety verses just the fog of opiates lifting.

Day 10 from 22mgs to 0 on methadone

Symptom checker:

1. Insomnia
2. Sneezing fits (didn't start till day 8)
3. slightly anxious.
4. random chills or feeling very hot. Comes and goes but noticable when I try to sleep.

I'll probably take 1 clodine at bed but otherwise I am good to go. No tylenol today and it's muscular pain now not bone. That lifted around 11pm when my mind suddenly just cleared. Very cool feeling.

[gnarly_1]

HI.....YOUR doing good so far this stuff is a real grind to get off off  ...I have often said its not so much the withdrawal that makes methadone such a monster to get of off its the post withdrawal symptoms....the lack of sleep the sever energy crash and the cycling back and forth from starting to feel better to being down again....for me I spent 10yr on the pills then 6 1/2 on the methadone so I broke a 16 1/2 yr addiction.....it was a month of feeling dope sick then 2 mo mo of recovery b/4 I started to feel like there was hope that I would get better ....methadone effect people differently some come out from under its spell in a month others like me take 90 days you will probably find yourself somewhere in between  ...try not to compare your withdrawal to others the physical stuff should be ending any day now for you but like I said its the other symptoms that make it hard keep posting where here to help...I have helped seveal people off this stuff b/4 and know the ropes you will get threw this and life will become a beautiful place again with God and time you do heal.....Gnarly  

[BamaIndian]

I'm at day 9, so Gnarly I'm almost at 2 weeks (thank GOD). Isn't it 1milg = 1 day? I didn't get much sleep but I didn't take any sleep meds, I don't feel so lethargic but I am exhausted. I'm going to start tapering the Clodine today. I have a feeling it's too much now. I think 1 pill, cut in half and every 12 hours = good. I haven't taken buspar in 24 hours. It made me feel really horrible after day 6. I am soaking a lot because of the bone pain and taking 1000 mgs of tylenol every 6 hours. I have to otherwise I'm freaking out and climbing the walls.

I had a maid come in and clean today, I couldn't take it. Well worth the 40.00. I highly recommend it. I just told the service I had surgery and I stayed in bed. No one was any the wiser.

I did have heroin like withdrawals during my short 3 hours of rest. Out of nowhere and managed with clodine immediately. What I mean by this is that I was chills/sweating/kicking and hurting. Totally weird.

I'm still plagued with feeling feverish all the time, or too cold. I could handle that if I could SLEEP.

I'm a broken record about that but I'm sure you understand why. I'm getting "fuzzy" in the head now.

Symptoms check list:

1. No "runs" to report. Had them 3x's that's it. I believe my diet has a lot to do with this.

2. Still having chills/ fever/ anxiety but managed by clodine

3. No sleep :( No matter how exhausted it doesn't come to me.

4. Euphoria and desire have been back since 36 hours in.

5. Crying fits but they are short bursts

6. No depression just a want to go outside

7. I've been able to eat since day 5. Nothing huge but I am eating.

8. Bone pain managed by tylenol extra strength 2 pills every 4-6 hours.

No slip ups, no desire just a NEED to get this over with lol

[gnarly_1]

Hi   hang in there jumping off over 20mg is ruff ...you'll make it but methadone symptoms come in waves just when you think its getting better you get slamed again the energy crash is normal it can take a wile for it to go a away your doing good so early on it take a good 2 weeks for this stuff to run its course coming off 20+ keep posting for support where out here for you and we all want to see you succeed........Gnarly