"Any advice good or bad is much appreciated"
Are you sure? It's gonna be LONG. Cause I have a big mouth! LOL
First, go to an NA meeting tomorrow! There is one in Leeds at 10 a.m. tomorrow morning. Here's the link:
You've been going round and round with the same questions on this forum since 2012, Bonny. There is absolutely no EASY way to rattle/get clean. Addiction cannot be done ALONE. You've already been on methadone. You've been on Subutex. You asked about Tramadol. You say you don't want to go to meetings because you are "shy". You see a key worker (counselor) or at least you used to, but admit you are not honest with them about your drug use and how you are truly doing. When you had the opportunities, you said you didn't go to any of the activities offered to recovering addicts. We can't keep our addiction a secret. You don't have to tell everyone in your life, but you need some accountability. If you never cut off your sources, the cravings will be even worse because your head knows you can get some more H or crack whenever you're having a rough go. You've already tried all the supposed "maintenance drugs" and use H right along with them.
You sound desperate, Bonny. But are you willing? Are you so sick and tired of being sick and tired and scoring day after day that you want to surrender your WHOLE self and do this thing COMPLETELY different? You need support. You need accountability. You need friendship from other addicts who have walked in the very same shoes.
If you go back and read all your posts since 2012 like I did, you will see a pattern. You received SO many good replies! The vitamins you should take, the water you should drink, the exercise that will help boost natural endorphins. All the answers to all the questions you've asked are there. But nobody here can make you willing. Getting off the H without substituting yet ANOTHER strong opioid is the best thing you can do. Then you'll just be done! And clean! And you won't have to get off yet another strong drug. And you won't EVER have to do it again. But you need HELP.
If you'd go to that meeting in the morning, you could just listen. You could find another woman to ask for HELP. You'll know who you are drawn to. You say you are shy but you also say you love meeting new people. There are no better, more loving people than other recovering addicts. You don't have to explain ANYTHING to them. They will come along side you and help you. But you have to WANT this BAD. BAD enough to do what you've never done before.
So that's probably way more than you wanted to hear. But nothing changes if nothing changes. You absolutely CAN do this! Believe in yourself, Bonny. Get some support....be honest.....cut off your connections. I'll be praying for you.....and I'm glad you're still alive and trying.
When you are done reading this message go back and read clean's response again. She is spot on.
In all honesty...I HATE when people call me out on my ****!!! But the people who love me...will do it everytime. I might not like what they have to say, but their's a reason I need to hear it!
Bonny.....please come back and talk to us.
We care about you!!
Hey is this the right place to leave a comment? For u guys? Or do I need to post new question on things?
Before you start Subutex you basically can withdraw in your sleep. You only have to wait about 18 hours so you should be okay. Please Google the time and make sure I'm right by saying at least 18 hours. But I've heard heroin is a hard drug to find anything to detox off of it. Good luck we're here for you.
Just one day at a time is all that can be a more positive days at that.