To Everyone
Hey all, I really wanted to come and say thank you to everyone who helped me through this. I was one who was taking between 10 to 14 Oxy’s a day for 4 yrs. I was petrified of stopping as I thought I always needed a drug. I used my last three OC’’s Oct 6th, I also used, my last 120 pills to wean down and at the last OC pill I lowered my daily dose by 80%. I used that time to identify my triggers and why I felt I needed the drug. Today is Oct 14th and I used Sub for 4 days to deal with the WD symptoms. I took my last crumb (little less then 1Mg )on the morning of Monday the 12th. Since I have not taking Sub (Flushed all my pills last night) or OC and know I now that being on the pill was a total false sense of empowering. My head is no longer in the clouds and I have gotten my life back on track (ie: used money to pay bills instead of pills, found a really nice (very hot) therapist and will take it day by day. Visiting these forums are just as addictive so I optioned to stay away for a little while, and because of this I feel guilty because someone told me that an addict needs to help an addict. So what I will try and contribute is that those of you who want to quit and are afraid you owe it to yourself to stop and see how it is. I found that because of the long duration that I was on the drug, it brought on very bad depression. I am no miracle man all I am saying is that by me using cause depression and being off the pill I am much much happier then I was on the pill. Do not pressure yourself in saying this is your last pill, just stop, get through the WD and see how it goes. Identify your triggers, use you COD to wean down and do not use suboxone to substitute your high.
I am not saying I am cured, all I am saying is that through my recovery process I am now finding myself constantly coming to this site and the depression just kicks in and I have replaced this forum with my therapy sessions (twice a week). The hardest thing to do is make something simple, but identifying my depression was so helpful, but there is no easy way to stop addition. You owe it to yourself to see how life is, for me it feels like the first time I saw a football game in High Definition opposed to my old black and white TV. Just try it!
Am I every going to take another OC pill? I will not pressure myself into saying no, but I will use my after care to say why instead!