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My BF is addicted to painkillers. Please help!
Hey everyone,
this is my first post and I am hoping someone can help or atleast talk about the situation. My bf and I have been dating almost 2 years and we are both 20. I love him so much and would do anything for him. The only problem is, his is very badly addiction to oxy/vicodin/any pill that will get him high. He lives at home with his mom and her bf. His mom has prescriptions to several painkillers because she has cancer among other problems. She has been giving them to him.. Even at a young age (as young as 13) she would give them to him if hr complained about a headache or any pain. At that time he didn't know that ge was actually getting high. Shortly after, he realized and has been hooked ever since. Please help. He is a grouch when he cannot get them but when he can he will say he will pay the ppl back.. And he does but it creates alot of debt and is always needing money from others. I sure don't want to be ab enabler and he knows I hate it. He is on probation next month for about a year so I hope that will help him. He says he wants yo quit.. But it doesn't happen. Please help!!!
this is my first post and I am hoping someone can help or atleast talk about the situation. My bf and I have been dating almost 2 years and we are both 20. I love him so much and would do anything for him. The only problem is, his is very badly addiction to oxy/vicodin/any pill that will get him high. He lives at home with his mom and her bf. His mom has prescriptions to several painkillers because she has cancer among other problems. She has been giving them to him.. Even at a young age (as young as 13) she would give them to him if hr complained about a headache or any pain. At that time he didn't know that ge was actually getting high. Shortly after, he realized and has been hooked ever since. Please help. He is a grouch when he cannot get them but when he can he will say he will pay the ppl back.. And he does but it creates alot of debt and is always needing money from others. I sure don't want to be ab enabler and he knows I hate it. He is on probation next month for about a year so I hope that will help him. He says he wants yo quit.. But it doesn't happen. Please help!!!
Yes it is safe, but as NorcB stated it is painful. He will feel like he has the worst flu he has ever had for 5-7 days. Now saying that CT is doable I went CT 25 days ago off oxys.I ws taking 80mg 3x/day + 10mg percs for break thru pain. So just stand behind him and be supportive. Tell him to come here and post when he feels like he cannot go on he will get great advice. I will pray to God to give both of u the strength to make it.
YES, it is safe, but painful. Just trying to get you prepared with the prep work during the peak of wd's. It will take a lot of perserverance.
Please people.. Tell me if it is safe to go CT off of vicodin and oxy's.. High dosage. Yes I have the Thomas recipe and valerian root for anxiety. Thanks
He needs to get vitamins in him quickly (potassium/calcium/magnesium/B-complex). Look up the Thomas recipe in the home page. He'll need Immodium and I highly recommend Hylands restless leg syndrome from Wal-mart. It will be painful for the first few days, but this CAN be done. It may not be such a bad thing if his job is physical, he can sweat out the toxins. I'm wish him and you the best of luck. Did you introduce him to the website, it is a great place to release/vent/scream frustrations from this process. OH, also for sleep I took Melatonin. It works for some and not others but its an option. I'm on my 6th day going c/t off 60-100mg/day of Norco. If I can do it, so can he. Keep up the support!
Hey everyone! It's been a little bit since I posted. Sunday I introduced this site to my bf. He said he would like to get an acct and all. Last night, we had a very emotion talk. I told him I missed how he used to be.. I want him to be happy without the pills obviously. He also smokes cigs.. He said today is his last day of doing pills. He said he is doing CT because he doesn't have any other pills to taper off with. I am sure he could get more pills to taper but he said he didn't want to do that. He is on high dosages of oxy and vicodin whenever he can get them. I am scared that he is doing this CT but expressed to him that I am his biggest fan!! Is it deadly if he did this CT? He has a very physical job.. Which makes it worse but is a form of exercise. Should I get the approx mg's he usually takes? That might make this question a little easier to answer. Please help and as always, your help and insight it greatly appreciated!! :)
An indigent is someone who does not have insurance and cannot afford treatment. In most cases, the alumni from a treatment center will donate to that center and those funds are used to let those stay who are uninsured. The more funds that are donated, the more spaces there are available. It is a great program for those who need it.
I wish my BF/ex-BF would check this site out but he won't. At least not yet.
Good luck with helping him. Be supportive, but not at your own expense. I've been down this path with my ex-husband for 18 years. I gave up a lot of myself to help him, and he never stayed clean.
Your BF is young; now is the time to do it. He can easily put his life back together. The older you get the harder it gets in every respect.
Good luck with helping him. Be supportive, but not at your own expense. I've been down this path with my ex-husband for 18 years. I gave up a lot of myself to help him, and he never stayed clean.
Your BF is young; now is the time to do it. He can easily put his life back together. The older you get the harder it gets in every respect.
I just saw that you in in PA. Have you phoned Marworth Treatment Center? They take indigents so I would check it out.
Also, instead of my bf using your account, get permission for him to open his own account so there is no confusion who we are talking to. I think it would be great if he gets on here.
Also, instead of my bf using your account, get permission for him to open his own account so there is no confusion who we are talking to. I think it would be great if he gets on here.
Thank you for your reply. Yea, as soon as I realized the red flags, I voiced to him that I was concerned.. He was not and is not financially stable. I remember.. We had a good conversation that night. A good heart to heart.. Anyways, I believe I am going to introduce this website to him. I will tell him I have an acct, I think it will help him as it does many!! A chance to openly talk to other users and reading what others are going through.. Hopefully one can learn and get back on track afterall.. One thing is that I won't ever give up on this boy.. And I know he knows I am that loyal.. Keep the advice coming people.. I really and truely appreciate it! :)
Chic u may also can check with the state ur in. I know here in Louisiana we have some state ran rehaps that or free , The problem is getting a bed sometimes. Its not near as glamorous as the one's u see on TV. But it may not cost anything. The one's around here help alot of people. Also, just like everyone has said, he has to do it himself. If he isnt ready, he will lie ,cheat ,steal and do anything else to keep using. I know this becausethat what i did for yrs. Didnt matter who it was, From my parents to my wife and kids. So ,if he says he wont's help, hold him to it. And please ,i know u love him, but don't even think of marriage until he gets straight. Which he can ,if he really wants to.God Bless ya.
Thx for the reply. Do u have a direct email address? I tried googling but many different ones came up. The one I saw was in NY and it says
that there is a non refundable deposit of $2000. That's alot.. I want to help my bf but don't know where to step. Please help with the process of finding a good place to get help. Thx
that there is a non refundable deposit of $2000. That's alot.. I want to help my bf but don't know where to step. Please help with the process of finding a good place to get help. Thx
contact Teen challenge, they are nationwide and have a great program the boasts a 90 percent success rate. this means that only 10 percent that go all the way thru the program relapse, which in itself is a huge acheivement. Most private or inpatient rehabs cannot match them statistics by half that . They are a religous based program, which i believe is the key to their success rate. Also, they are reasonable with their prices. usually you can check in for the first 6 months for around 600 bux. This is not the entire program, but it is 6 months of clean time and a great way for him to decide if this program is for him or not. whatever he decides to do, dont in any way let his addiction rub off on ya. its very easy for someone your age to become codependent, and that is about as bad as being in his shoes. I dint read thru all the above responses, but if someone dint mention it, you may want to look into some codependent meetings. They will help you understand what both of you are going thru and what you need to do to protect yourself. Please dont live your life around an addict that is NOT truly serious about getting clean. You are way to young to do that to yourself, as right now are some of your best years. If he isnt serious bout gettin clean, move on and find yaself someone that is all bout living a real life. besta luck to u and urs
Hey guys. Thanks for the advice and please keep it coming. I know he is powerless to the addiction and I have really never had to deal with something like this. He has said that he wants help. And I didn't really know of places that offer help financially. I will check into that link. And believe me.. I am very scared and sometimes react the opposite of what I should. He knows I hate it and we talked about it today. I said to him that I was scared for him and us.. I try to tell him how much I do not like it but then he tries to downplay it so I quit 'nagging'. I don't know how to talk about it without sounding like I am nagging cause I know that's not the best way to talk about it. But then I don't know what the best way to do it.. Sometimes I don't know what to do.. But I have told him several times that I won't give up.. And I won't. :)
Hj ChicI hate to sound like a big ol meany but I have to tell you the truth and give you a reality check. At this point, by your own words he is completely powerless over his addiction...That does not mean he is a bad guy...just addicted.He CANNOT stop by himsef and if he does not seek help FOR HIMSELF ( not to please you or anyone else) he will end up in jail or in the morgue. The sad thing is that he will, without intending to, take YOU down with him. Nar anon is for family of those who are addicted...and YOU should be going to those meetings to learn about enabling and triggers etc
YOU CANNOT SAVE HIM! Only he can do that.On probation he will almost certainly be drug tested and the probation people frown on dirty UA results so he will probably end up in jail eventually Though you cannot save him, you CAN help him by showing you will be there for him, by refusing to enable him emotionally and financially and by trying not to judge him. People as far into their addiction as he is , especially starting at such a young age ( his mother needs help too!)it will be soooo hard for him, I don't mean to scare you but the reality is that you SHOULD be VERY SCARED! Sweetie I know you can't force him and that you love him but sometimes you have to think of yourself. There are some great people on here ( dominosarah, ibkleen, giz and many more) who can really help you and give you sound advice.
Good luck dear and don't hesitate to ask questions.
YOU CANNOT SAVE HIM! Only he can do that.On probation he will almost certainly be drug tested and the probation people frown on dirty UA results so he will probably end up in jail eventually Though you cannot save him, you CAN help him by showing you will be there for him, by refusing to enable him emotionally and financially and by trying not to judge him. People as far into their addiction as he is , especially starting at such a young age ( his mother needs help too!)it will be soooo hard for him, I don't mean to scare you but the reality is that you SHOULD be VERY SCARED! Sweetie I know you can't force him and that you love him but sometimes you have to think of yourself. There are some great people on here ( dominosarah, ibkleen, giz and many more) who can really help you and give you sound advice.
Good luck dear and don't hesitate to ask questions.
Hi,
Nar-Anon is for the families, or loved ones, of addicts. It is no wonder he did not identify. I am providing the link to a meeting locator. It is easy to follow:
http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/
Many of the treatment centers offer an indigent program, meaning that they take a patient without insurance every few months. You will have to seek out centers in your area and begin doing the footwork.
Let us know how you make out.
Nar-Anon is for the families, or loved ones, of addicts. It is no wonder he did not identify. I am providing the link to a meeting locator. It is easy to follow:
http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/
Many of the treatment centers offer an indigent program, meaning that they take a patient without insurance every few months. You will have to seek out centers in your area and begin doing the footwork.
Let us know how you make out.
Hello, thx for the reply. He didn't really come out and tell me about his problem untill like 7 months ago when I realized something was up.. All of his money was dissapearing and we were planning on moving out. He said he would be willing to get some help- he went to a few Nar-Anon meetings but didn't like it as he felt he needed more personal meetings. I would like to get him in an in-patient facility but he has no insurance.. I don't know if there is options for rehab without insurance as I know it is very expensive. Do u know of any alternatives or programs that make it attainable for ppl who don't have insurance?
Millraxx-- thanks for ur reply also. He does have a high tolerance for thesep pills so he is having to take many to get the high feeling. I always know if his is on them or not. When he is on them, he is very sweet and nice.. And absolutely charming. I love that.. But hate it because he is
only like that because of the pills. When he doesn't have it.. He is a total grump! I know that it would help if he come to live with me and my fam cause he wouldn't have the constant supply from his mom. She would be over an hour away. Do u think it would do any good bringing him here or only the in patient facility as mentioned above?
Millraxx-- thanks for ur reply also. He does have a high tolerance for thesep pills so he is having to take many to get the high feeling. I always know if his is on them or not. When he is on them, he is very sweet and nice.. And absolutely charming. I love that.. But hate it because he is
only like that because of the pills. When he doesn't have it.. He is a total grump! I know that it would help if he come to live with me and my fam cause he wouldn't have the constant supply from his mom. She would be over an hour away. Do u think it would do any good bringing him here or only the in patient facility as mentioned above?
Hi & Welcome,
I can only suggest that because of his history of usage that he get into an in-patient treatment center, for as long as he can. He has been "taught" to use drugs as a cure-all at an early age and he needs to learn to live without the use of a mind or mood altering substance. He is not going to be able to simply stop and stay clean on his own.
For years I said that I wanted to stop but I didn't get it done until I went into treatment and got to the root of the problem.
There is not much you can do for him unless he really, really wants to get clean and change his life.
Please don't misunderstand, or think I am being cruel, but have you asked yourself why you were/are attracted to someone who has been using drugs since you have been with him? I am concerned for you as well.
This is not going to be easy for you. Until he admits his problem, as I said, and truly seeks professional help, then things will not change.
Keep posting and asking questions. You will get a lot of varying opinions here from members who share your experience.
In the meantime, take care of yourself.
I can only suggest that because of his history of usage that he get into an in-patient treatment center, for as long as he can. He has been "taught" to use drugs as a cure-all at an early age and he needs to learn to live without the use of a mind or mood altering substance. He is not going to be able to simply stop and stay clean on his own.
For years I said that I wanted to stop but I didn't get it done until I went into treatment and got to the root of the problem.
There is not much you can do for him unless he really, really wants to get clean and change his life.
Please don't misunderstand, or think I am being cruel, but have you asked yourself why you were/are attracted to someone who has been using drugs since you have been with him? I am concerned for you as well.
This is not going to be easy for you. Until he admits his problem, as I said, and truly seeks professional help, then things will not change.
Keep posting and asking questions. You will get a lot of varying opinions here from members who share your experience.
In the meantime, take care of yourself.
hi,do everything in your power to try and get him clean,he's lucky if he is still taking them to get high,when it gets to the point when he takes them to feel normal is a bad place to be,then it becomes a nightmare,seriously these drugs take over your life and are so hard to quit,confrontation seldom works,let him know that it hurts you to see him go down this road.most importantly dont judge him,
i wish you and him the best of luck in your battle,and it will be
i wish you and him the best of luck in your battle,and it will be
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