My Q was removed i think dont no wot i was thinkin sorry :(

[chuggy]

i just asked a stupid Q and now its gone from the forum i think it was
taken off i dont no wot i was thinkin askin that here anyways im sorry to
all i offended with that one!.....
i relapsed today not really sure wot to think i dont no if anyone here is in
the same boat maybe we can talk or if anyone has any words of kindness
dont judge i tryed very hard not to
once again sorry if i offended anyone with my last post stupid high me not
thinkin if anyone has some words thay always help butr i dont feel like stopin
usein any day soon.....

[chuggy]

Where did you all go? how is eveyone doin 2day?

[chuggy]

Yes to who ever sent that post about my spelling it is Very Bad Lool im sorry spelling isnt one of my strong points im left handed witch made it harder for me to learn to write as a child and that impacted my spelling to BUT give me a bunch of food and ill make it into the best thing you ever tasted :-D as cookin is wot i do... oh im 27 years young :)

[chuggy]

mate it sounds like a ruff start but your young man just got to start makein better choices i was into ringing cars and drug dealin at your age jail sorted that out in me thow i never wanted to loose my freedom so i found somethin legit that i was good at and made a job out of it sure the pay isnt as good but its a honist days work mate and my soul feels better for it im not person to speak about bein round the wrong people and drug habbits but that road right there hangin round with gangs and endin up in jail is a mugs game and it will take your life away from under you trust me watched people around me growin up endin up doin big streches in jail man some of whom are still there now with no life infront of them the others are dead.. its hard to no who you are or were your goin wen your young and on drugs i almost lost my mind wen i was 19/20 coz of all the base and the Es i was doin so glad i got myself out of all that back then but as a addict i soon found myself on other drugs IE prescription medication! painkillers and valiums zanax etc its the hardest drugs to come off of as well you go through so much pain with withdraw its sick i hate it so hard no dout about it i did it once resently was so sick for like a month before i started it feel  better again and only the past few days i through it all away again its not easy havein a drug problem is the single most hardest thing a human can go through trying to change in there lives i really hope you make it work you should be the most proud of yourself if you do it man and never look back ill be here for you mate maybe you can give me the right words i need to hear but as for the hangin around gangs and putin your life in danger of bein taken from you if it be jail or getin shot stay the **** away man seen far to meny people end up that way your young man dont chuck it away you will find yourself anyday now i bet your a real stand up guy man the type your gf/wife is proud of keep it that way.. for me drug addiction is a life long battle it never really gos away even wen your not usein you have to keep it that way thats the battle anyways sorry if that was abit long loool hope it helps in someway mate feel free to send me a priv message or somethin good to hear from you man takecare =)

[JES168]

sorry its long i did shorten it some.

[JES168]

Hello, i am on my first day clean. i started when i was about 12 or 13 drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes with the wrong crowd of my neiborhood most 'crowds' of that neighborhood were. i started smoking weed everyday when i was about 14. ran into the law when i was 15 with weed on me, but only did diversion program during which i meet up with a couple of young guys neighborhood in gangs. i never actually joined a gang but i spent a lot of time with them which drove me to smoke and drink more often. this continued with not much change until i moved away and increased my drinking at about age 17. i was drinking heavy everyday, blacking out about every other day and waking up to a liquid breakfast. when i was 18 I was Drinking at my house with a couple of guys when i got arrested for terrorist threats, concieling a deadly weapon, gang enhancement, public intoxication. it was an argument between a neighbor, his wife called the cops and lied telling them we said we were gonna burn their house down. we were arrested a block away and cops saw a baseball bat and a pipe i had removed from my backyard to throw away and said those were our weapons, and they were marked by police as gang members so automatically i was to to them. charges were lessened and i only spent two months in jail. and one month of alternative work program. i started awp at 19 and was introduced to hydrocodone by another worker. ive been taking them for the past two and a half years increasing is dosage along with codiene, tramadol, alcohol, oxycodone, zanax, and cocaine. i tried over the past year to get clean and this time i stopped the oxy and cocaine and drastically lessened the hydrocodone and tramadol. i took one two pills for three days and one yesterday and feel ok. i guess im lucky usually i feel much worse.

[chuggy]

hello there well i didnt yesterday but i did take a few today im trying its very hard today im not going to thow wish me luck anyways its 3am here havent trouble sleeping bit im gona try and lay down again havent slept more then a cupple hours in 3 days its stressin me out hop to here more from you all soon and still would love you all to share your story with me if you dont want to them im sorry for askin more then once forgive me :) god bless all of you

[dominosarah]

Hi chuggy......How are you doing?  Are you still off the pills?

[chuggy]

anyone want to share with me there story??

[chuggy]

id love to hear more about you guys and wot your drug of choice was and how you got clean or how your still trying i like to hear other peoples inspirein storys it makes me feel less lonely in all this i have come from a long history of mental abuse by my parents
and bullyed at skool never fitted in then a string of bad partners and i used drugs to deal with the stress and hurt iv been useing drugs since i was 13 started with solvent abuse and moved on to smokein weed and wen i left home at the age of 16 it was then speed and Es and cocaine drinking alot till i almost lost my mind at 21 and watched people around me end up in jail or in mental hospital and for the past 6 years iv been useing prescription meds like valium dihydrocodine and MST i dont drink much now but wen i do i drink aLot in one go i never had a problem with alcohol thow its always been drugs like the above that i have done alot of i dont think iv had a day untill lately wen i was clean for 3 months that i have been sober since the age of 13 im not a messy drug addict im fully functioning i have a job and a wife and kids its never really afected my life apart from spendin to much money on drugs and my health... so there it is hope to hear from you all soon :)

[jeffclowns]

hey chuggy you can do it ,you just have to want to do it, till then nothing will happen till you make up your mind  ..god bless..jeff

[dominosarah]

Dig deep, you can do this.....Freedom is right in front of you.      sara

[carson1975]

Hi there glad your back on here . Well my doc is oxycoden I'm taking about 120 mg a day I've tried to taper and it did not work for me I have 5 pills left and this is it I was going to stop last week but my dealer came over and brought me some pills, I'm not strong to turn it down when it's in my faceso my hubby called her and had a talk to let her know not to call or come around I was taking vicoden before the perks I'm a stay at home mom with 2 kids no one really knows about my problem but my hubby and mom and of the dealer who I use to think was my friend, I think the restless legs are the worst part and my nerves .you can do this it's in our reach we just have to grab for it and hang on ! I can't wait for us to say we have a week clean then 30 the 60 then a year sounds good right I'm hear for u ! Best of luck the next few days but u can do it for sure

[j34]

you know today you are clean.this is all you have live in the 24 hr period.Break it down if you have to at times, breath in and out, be thankful for what you have, take care of self first,from your post you are all over the place just like any of us who are just one or two days clean,Congrats on today my friend.I like this saying live today like it is your last.Do for yourself what you would want your best friend to have if they were in this place in their life, I know for me I had a hard time loving myself didnt think I deserved anything good and was loaded with guilt, I went to a councellor specializing in addictions and got the help I needed. Today is a good day for me I am clean. am here anytime to chat with or to  ask questions okay you are not alone blessings j34

[chuggy]

thank you Kc156 i thort so abrupt words and tellin me im loosein it was not the way to go and i still feel the same even now IM NOT HIGH LOL but woteva no big deal im sure shes a lovely person :) anyways to all from yesterday i didnt take anymore today i didnt sleep lastnight so this is the second night awake but im ok i think maybe that was just a bad moment but i still need help i cant keep havein bad moments i cant deal with its hard work havent a drug habbit lol id love to hear more about you guys and wot your drug of choice was and how you got clean or trying to i will be here on and off tonight im sure stress in its self keeps me from sleeping thnx again for all the carein kind words from all it really helped me stay right today :)

[kc156]

Stick around,you may get help here as I did.From all the people who answered my need.All of them.♥♪          karl

[kc156]

Posting in upper case letters does sound very angry,and rude.    karl

[dominosarah]

Hi chuggy, i hope you come back and talk with us~~~~~sara

[carson1975]

Hi there I'm not sure why your so upset at vicki she has been such a help to so many of us on here! I'm very sorry your going thought so much right now I know how hard this is I'm not all the way clean either as for na or aa if u go let us know cuz I'm not so sure about it. I"ll talk to u if u want I'm right there trying to figure out how to beat this myself. I hope to hear back from u

[Dav125]

I was taking upwards of320 to 400mg of oxycontin along with 10/325 percocets for breakthru pain. Problem was,,I was masking my pain, over exerting, creating more pain,,then eating more pills,,etc,etc..I finally said enough is enough 3 weeks ago..Life isn't great, but its better than it was..And each day is getting me one step closer to feeling naturally high on life again..I can feel the change happening. I still have a ways to go, but undoing 3 years of continuous pill use takes time..We didn't get in the positions we are overnight and to undo the effects of the use will not come overnight either..

All I know is at first it was the first day..Now its the 21st day..You can do this once you've made up your mind that "enough is enough"..Don't look at the situation as "hopeless",,,look at the "hope " aspect and the fact people are dropping the pills everyday in here and counting days...Ask God for help and go for it..It's you that has to recognize you do have the strength underneath the facade the pills have ingrained into your head..You just have to look for it and place your focus there..No matter what...

Got it??..Think about it....

[Crys833]

I just read your post, and it sounds like you are going through a really rough time right now:( How many days since your relapse? Let me know if i can help in some way, with advice and stuff? I'm day 14 clean today. Do you remember the fist 2 weeks you were clean 3 months ago? How did you feel? Praying for you too:)

[chuggy]

thank you so much i need to ask the lord for forgiveness as i feel i have let him down again i promised i wouldnt go back to this and yet here i am..  arnt we so blessed as to have such a understanding and forgiveing god as he god bless you and thank for your prayers

[hiskidd]

Praying for you!

[dominosarah]

Get some sleep and we will talk in the morning~~~~~sara

[chuggy]

its getin late i should go bed please feel free to lev a reply and come back tomorrow id like to keep talkin if thats ok :) goodnight and thank you