My addiction is becoming a foggy memory.

[Madmax88]

I've been clean off opiates (hydros) for about 7 months, and I know isn't a really long time. Tho since getting clean Ive never really slowed down enough to realize how much I've progressed since getting clean and how much my life has changed. I've became a drug free person again living life, don't think about the drug don't crave it, but lately ive just been been thinking how I forgot what it's felt like to be high on them. I found myself talking in the back of my head saying "take one to remember why your staying clean, you need to remember why". Isn't that weird my addict brain Is approaching it in a whole new way. I smile at the fact that my addiction is a short and foggy memory! To bad it took 3 years to realize I needed to sober up!

[dominosarah]

You said you dont think or crave the drugs anymore yet your addict brain is wondering about what the high felt like and to take one to remember why you are staying clean.  That would be a huge red flag for me.  I would step up my recovery.  You have come a long way so take care of those thoughts so they dont become your reality again.  Always keep that Guard Up!

[real_jimmy]

Agreed. guard up.

[VICourageous]

Good Going Max!
Do not let that ol pleasure part of the Brain talk you into any of it! I know YOU will be just fine. YOU have come a long ways and your Positive Attitude is just Wonderful. Keep on Trucking!

Congrats on your clean time!!!

[gnarly_1]

Hi max  good to see you great to see you clean  7mo is huge!!!!! dude where addicts it is in our nature to use not using is a mirical every day you do it  I agree with the above posters  these thoughts will become obsessions then cuplushins then we often act out...I been clean a wile now but I to get that little voice telling me I would like to just feel that sleapy warm fuzzy feeling again....it is what you do with those thoughts that counts  I know your active in N/A and this progam will save your a$$ now call your sponcer and start hitting the mettings  for me I still hit 3 to 4 a week... I have a service comitmet at the local rehab here in phoenix  but there are times that I have to hit more meetings and get whats going on in my head out there    vent it at a meeting  dont take this lighly max it only takes one bad decision to take us back out there...who knows if youll make it back again  you been clean long enough to get a service commitment with n/a  giving back to others is the real key to recovery  time to get a few sponcees to  this is one part of the progam a lot of people try to skip  but I get back 10 fold helping others  let us know what you think............Gnarly

[dominosarah]

Good post Cricket~

[Cricketk92]

Congratulations on 7 months!  You said "I know it isn't a really long time" but I tend to say think of that differently!  It IS a really long time and it is amazing and you are a miracle!  
Now comes the work and action on your part to keep it going!  I know those voices...mine try to speak to me too.... they can be deadly if we listen to them! There is an old "saying"  Move a muscle, change a thought.  I find this to be true!  Get active and not just physically.  Try to help someone else at least once a day.  Even if it is just a conscious smile at a stranger.  There are tools to use to battle our thoughts!
Keep up the great work and don't let yourself get lazy and complacent about your addiction!!!  
Congrats again!!!  
Karen  ♡

[VICourageous]

Good one Clean_in ks!!!!

[VICourageous]

I have to agree 100% with DS. I know she would come in and give you some great feedback. I always say do not put the Cart before the Horse. Those voices between our ears our always talking. Just be careful and try to avoid these thoughts. I heard that if you think about using for any reason, you have brought the demon back in. Just be safe and Do NOT even let it get to you. Re-direct your thinking  right away. YOU are still in early recovery and our minds will always play so may tricks, and use excuses to use just for this or that reason. We must keep that Guard up at all times. Life will always throw us some curve balls and this is when we need to UP the Support. Be very careful. We always feel like we got it under control, but we do not. Any thing can spark up them old memories.
Just be VERY Careful with that thinking process. It will only take on drink or drug to start this all over again. Addiction is a VERY serious disease. We must be very alert all the time and work hard to stay clean & sober!!
I know you are working very hard and staying clean and I am proud of you. Just always Keep that Guard Up as WE mentioned..Keep it up.
Bless
Vickie

[clean_in_ks]

You've made it almost 7 months, Max, and if I remember correctly, you had surgery on your ACL last month.  And then you fell shortly after your knee surgery and broke a rib too, right?  What did you decide to do post surgery as far as taking something for pain?  You said you were prescribed 60 hydros and 20 tramadol.  Did you take any of them?

Now that you are a month post surgery, do you still have the hydros and tramadol in your possession?  The reason I ask is because your addict voice is rearing its ugly head....telling you ridiculous things like NEEDING to take a pain pill to remember WHY you are staying clean!?
If you need some help in remembering why.....go read your thread:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Quitting-painkillers/show/2753484#post_13307178

Call one of your clean friends; get rid of any pills you have; help another suffering addict.  Those are ALL better ways to help you remember why don'tcha think?

I surely hope you recognize how "sick" that voice is that's talking to you.....and I'm so glad you came on hear to share with us.    

[jifmoc]

Fantastic advice Clean in Ks!!!

[real_jimmy]

Make sure you don't forget or take for granted, to protect yourself from Yourself. And not just the external factors alone.
Congrats for all these months of clean time. Wish you an entire life of healthy, content and clean time. Take care