My life

[welldigger]

I thought it was time to post what has happened to me over the last 3 years. All the started in June 2005. I was newly divorced. I ran across someone I had met when my husband and I was separated in 1996. He swept me off my feet. I fel in love instantly. And he had a hold on me. At that time, I had the best job, and I loved it. He wanted me to quit my job. He said he wanted to take care of me. I had already moved to his city. So, after an autermatum, I quit. I had no friends. My whole life revolved around him. He interdused me to drugs.l had NEVER taking drugs in my life. I was 41. And I became addicted. Then in January, he started to see another women and wa nted me out of the house. I held on as long as I could, but in April 2008, he kicked me out, addicted, no job, homeless, and in debt so bad(he had promised to pay all my bills off if I quit and didn't). I went to treatment. My daughter has allowed me to stay with her for awhile. I am also dealing with depression due to what he did to me. I feel like I am dealing with a lose. I am crying as I write this. I am 32 days clean but it is so hard. I have this burden hanging over my head. I think about him every day and wonder why. I am so hurt and feel so betrayed. So if I can stay clean, anybody can.    

[beck25752003]

i agree with these post,  if that is where you two went together it might not have been a good thing anyway. if he left then let him, his new lady can have his issues. i lost someone when i got clean. he didnt take the drugs but he just left me in the dust. and as you did, we meet (i was clean at the time) and moved  to another state and left everything, family friends, job etc for him. then had some "real pain issues" and had to take them dang pills again. well i was sad and very lonely so here came my addiction again. when he found out he told me to leave. was soo hard in the begining, and still is somedays but have seen if we couldnt work through stuff together with me then what are we doing. life is hard and relationships will have rough spots, which at the time was my problem, but i see know if we made it for a while his turn would have came and i wouldnt have left him. i have only been clean  48 days this time, but really have looked at myself why i let this happen to me and why i like to take them and make life go away. he wasnt right for me  and he wasnt right for you as hard it is  to see that, but if he took you to that place and made you feel that you had to go there to have him, then he was in NOWAY the right one. hope this helps some. congrats on staying clean through all of this, i thank god everyday i have stayed clean trough my problems

beck
you r in my prayers

[broknbck]

Hey, it is like they say. What doesn't kill us will just make us stronger. And smarter.
You are taking control of your life now. That is so courageous!

You can look at things in a different perspective. We have to take these 'things' that happen to us and use them to learn and grow.If everything was great all the time we wouldn't learn a thing. (right?) When the real love comes your way, you are going to recognize and enjoy it so much more because you know the opposite. And it will.

That guy is just a little weasel with no spine. He is of no good to anyone. You are important and valuable and don't forget it.

[lady67]

You are stronger than you think.  After all, you managed to get clean through all of your other problems.  Keep posting, it helps.

[confused456]

Wow. That is a lot for anyone to have to deal with. Be proud for getting your life back! Keep pushing forward and continue to stay clean. You will get your life back and it will take time but it is possible!! You have something to be very proud of!! Getting CLEAN!! Congrats!!

[JonDavid]

Hi WellDigger,

I read your post & I am so sorry to hear what all you have been going through I really truly am. I feel for you , I saw my mother in law get used over and over again by my father in law about 5 years ago she finally left him it was for the better.

But I wanted to ask yo this: Was he in love with you, maybe it is the drugs that is keeping him from making the right decissions and folowing his heart. I mean did you guys feel like you were melting into each other when you kissed without the drugs, did you every have any time to see if you were turly absolutly head over hills in love without the drugs??? if you guys really are maybe its not over maybe you guys just need to get off of the drugs and get your life in order and then reconnect?????

I am a big believer that true love can always work out for the better, if it is true love???

Im sorry to hear that you never used drugs until now & this is how it all happened to you , but the withdrawls will past and so will the post acute withdrawls and your emotions will balance out.  Just remeber you were vaunerabley in love like we all are and you added drugs to this, you were taken advantage of in a way, but you will find a place to file this away in the filing cabinent of life and the secret will not haunt you as you find a new love if that is where life takes you.

You will find ture happiness : )

[bandnmom]

I am so sorry for what your are going threw. Betrayal is the worst.  Like you said with everything going on and you have managed to stay clean, you should be so proud of yourself. Slowly you will get your life back. Just take it one day at a time. Thats my new look on life. If you need anything this is definetly the place to be. Dont hesitate to ask.