Death by alcohol and fentanyl

[Hopelesss7]

A few months ago, I lost someone very very close to me. I'm disappointed to say that he died due to mixing alcohol and the pain killer, fentanyl. There was an abundance of this drug found in his system. I know that killed him but I'd like to know exactly how. Like his death, was it
Painful or painless?
Did he die immediately or did it take a while? Did he just fall asleep and never wake up? Did he have a seizure? I'm very curious. I miss him very much and I'm not exactly sure why but I feel a need to know this information. Can anyone help me? Thanks.

[abstraluser]

I am so sorry for the death of your dad. You must be so lonely.
Being angry is a normal reaction to grief so do not feel bad. You will have a whole array of feelings, anger, sadness, feeling cheated, let down and many more and this is normal. Better to vent them to a stranger who will not judge or make you feel worse than you already feel. You will be in a very dark place where know one wants to be. You have to work your way through them at your own pace.
Loosing a parent is such a life changing experience and releases a whole array of emotions we cannot control. It is worse when it is due to a drug overdose as it raises an lot of questions and unresolved issues. It means someone died before their time, we feel cheated that they died before their time. If it was accidental then we feel worse, if it is intentional we may feel that somehow we let that person down. Our feelings are so raw and indescribable because of the pain and loss and not being able to communicate with the deceased to get answers we want. It is good to talk to people here. There are also bereavement groups that you can phone or join that may be of help. However that may mean face to face contact that you may not want.
Do you have any other close family you can talk to that may help. It is likely they are going through the same feelings. They may or may not want to talk.
For my own son who helped me try to resuscitate his dad, he does not wish to talk about it, nor does he want counselling. He is also being investigated for the likelihood of SDS. He as a young person like your self has a lot to try to come to terms with and it must be incredibly difficult.
My heart goes out to you. Please feel free to ask any questions as there is always someone here who will be willing to help if they can.
We all have different experiences, many that we wish we never had and there is always someone who will have an experience that may help you.
If you have difficulty seeing friends with their dad it is sometimes worth avoiding that situation for a few months. I understand this feeling only too well as I still feel angry and envious when I see my friends together as couples without a care in the world and then realise I am all alone. They seem to have forgotten about my loss and have moved on but I haven't

[corey4433]

I'm so sorry I lost my brother he was just a child only 18 from a herion OD I pray he just fell asleep.I hope he didn't feel a thing.I miss him soooo much my mom had him late in life so my daughter and him was 18 months apart my son and him was 4 yrs apart so my kids feel like they lost a sibling I feel like I lost my child.I go on his Facebook almost everyday.I thought time would start to take my pain away nope it just hurts more because I know he is gone and I won't huge again or have our long talks or hear his laugh again.

[abstraluser]

Hi Corey so sorry for your loss, your brother was so young to die. It seems so unfair. No parent should have their child go before them.Your Mom must be really lost as no doubt he was always her baby.
We have a public walk and service next week for all those that have died from drug use. Not just for relatives and friends but for everyone, to publicise the huge loss from drug related deaths. By public awareness it helps loose the stigma associated with drug use and makes the public aware it can happen to anyone. No one is immune.
Have you tried counselling. Not to get you to come to terms with his death - You don't---- but just to help you cope on a day to day basis.
I often turn around to speak to my partner or think I must tell him some news and then it hits me he's not there. I'm sure you know the feeling.
I'm sure your brother would unfortunately fall asleep and stop breathing very peacefully. It would have been very quick. The questions are always there. Try to think of the good times and his laughter. Make a photo collage and keep his memory alive . It may help your kids too depending on their age. It is only a suggestion and I hope I have not upset you in any way as I know it is a very sensitive issue and so easy to say the wrong thing and cause upset.

[Hopelesss7]

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. He left this world too soon. I have a brother and would be crushed if anything happened to him. All though I did not lose my brother, I relate to going on a loved ones Facebook page that has passed. The person I am referring to that died from OD of Fentanyl and alcohol is my dad. I have a voice mail from him that I saved from years ago and listen to it constantly. I called him almost everyday till his phone was shut off. I check his Facebook constantly and text him every once in a while, yearning for a reply. Although my dad was not young he still had a bit left to do in this world. when I see my friends with their dads, I get a pain in my chest. It hurts so bad  

[abstraluser]

Sorry I omitted to say when I make the comment about fentanyl users getting to the nodding stage I am referring to one particular aspect of recreational users as Patch users do not get this . This is with the use of Actiq the lollipop form or sublingual tablet form or those perhaps sucking the patch or gel.I hope no one misunderstood or took offence

[abstraluser]

I too am sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my partner recently from Sudden Death Syndrome during the day in the house and I too have unanswered questions, as well as feelings of guilt as we were unsuccessful in resuscitation. After 2 autopsies no cause of death was found hence SDS.
I have used Fentanyl both oral and the patch for 3.5 years for cancer pain and am currently at the last stage of coming of it. My choice.
I can assure you if your friend died from an OD of fentanyl and alcohol he would as dominosarah said fallen asleep very quickly. Since fentanyl is a painkiller and in high dose makes you drowsy and stops breathing there would be no pain and he would have stopped breathing very quickly and died. There would be no reason to have a seizure as fentanyl does not cause seizures.
Was this an intentional overdose or accidental and was he prescribed Fentanyl or a recreational user?
Fentanyl users use the drug to get to the nodding stage where it is quite pleasant and peaceful and makes them feel good but very drowsy and this is dangerous as it affects breathing. As a user of the drug for pain I can see the attraction for recreational use to.
Please be assured no one judges other here. We all have our own demon's and life experiences and have no right to judge others. We are here to support you in any way we can. I hope I have not upset you in any way in your time of grief. Sometimes we need to ask more questions to help us cope with a death. Please come back and speak with us. sometimes speaking with complete strangers helps.

[Hopelesss7]

I'm very sorry about the loss of your partner. I don't believe the person very close to me intended to overdose but he took it just to get the high I guess. He wasn't prescribed it as far as I know. Thank you for your comment. Makes me feel a bit better knowing it was fast. All I felt when he first passed was sadness. I still feel miserable about it but now I'm also filled with anger. I feel awful for being angry at him but I can't help it. I haven't told anyone this. I've kept most of my emotions inside. Sorry I'm saying all this. I guess that talking to complete strangers is a lot easier

[dominosarah]

I hope you will come back and talk to us~

[dominosarah]

I am so sorry to hear you lost your friend to this.  This is always such a tragedy.  I am sure he just went to sleep.  Had he been using for a long time?  Our tolerance goes up and with that so does our intake.  Are you able to talk to anyone about this?  We are here to talk to also. I hope you can find peace at some point~

[Hopelesss7]

Thank you very much for your reply