Getting clean is the easy part staying that way is where the work begins :)
Oh another tip to beating cravings I use. I look and think about all the people I know who dont have addiction and how much they love life. How often they smile, do things and appreciate life. I WANT THAT FEELING! Only way to get it is to beat this addiction.
Keep it up! Soon your mind will forget and you will have some moments of peace...Oh yea BTW I am quitting smoking at the same time, I have been quitting for 6 months, you talk about hard!
well another day gone by....Dang Not much to do and trying to stay busy.I found myself thinking of going to the er or doc to get a refill .Instead I started reading posts on here which is helpful taking my mind off where i want to go.The worst part is im having neck and back pain pretty bad trying other things to help with it iwill get through this lots of praying i amdoing Take care everyone stay strong.
I really find it helpful to read these posts now that I am not in the heavy throws of ct w/d. Thanks all for posting about the relapsing and the posts about enjoying life after narcotics. I recognize now that I was in heavy denial about my abuse of hydros. I know that I can't even be trusted to take ANY narcotics anymore. I find myself occ thinking that I will need a lortab to go to the dentist (as I have been doing for years now) and I can just take one, I could just go get the refill that is waiting for me at the pharmacy.....It is all just part of justifying my addiction. I will suck it up in April for my dentist appt...(I will bring my ipod and try to use music as pain killer). I am still unable to cancel the remaining refills.....
Now 22 days off hydros and 19 days off ultram ER.
Yes, lately its been making me crazy! I feel like I'm going crazy, I'm on day 43, the most days without vicodin in about 5 years and I think about the pills all day long. I told my whole family I quit so now I'm scared if I relapse I'd let them down. But I do know I am a better person but at the same time I am lacking. I am still constantly battling my fatigue and personal stress which triggers me to use. I have good days and then in there I think about what it felt like to take a pill. I try to remember every detail but the best thing is that my body is behaving naturally. My emotions are not controlled by any pills. I had a few scares while using when I had bad stomach issues and hives, and I felt like I had no control on my body and yet I still used....
I haven't gone to meetings just because it's so local around her, I use this forum everyday and it's good to know I'm not crazy. I am very familiar with AA and their philosophy which I have adopted.
I am thankful for everyone here who is posting, battling and surviving...
The mental part is the hardest and giving up that control seems to be the biggest challenge. Until we finally say i cant ever take these again we just end up in that vicious cycle. You are really sounding good and so much more positive. That is great!!! Keep moving forward!!! sara