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No support to keep me straight. Depression setting in hard. Can anyone HELP?

Hi all, I am  8 days into a 150-225mg a day hydro/Oxy addiction detox. . I seem to have made it through the worst except the RLS  all over my body and no sleep for 7 nights. Going into a horrible depression mode and cannot seem to snap out of it. I am doing this all alone with nobody or no support from my wife. She simply doesn't have any sympathy or time for me during this. She simply doesn't care. I have two kids and am trying not to show them what I'm going through. I feel so alone and worthless right now. Everybody is living life around me and the loser attic I am, I am suffering in silence. I just want to take a few Oxys and be part of life again. So sorry for being a wussy and "crying " here just have nowhere to turn. Is this even worth it? I'm starting to doubt that I'm doing the right thing even after 8 days. I FEEL LIKE SUCH A LOOSER.  
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Avatar universal
You aren't a loser and it IS worth it!  Music is your friend right now.  Eat healthy and hydrate.  Swimming feels really good at this stage too for a little exercise.
Don't mistake your wife not caring for not understanding addiction.  We understand so post away and you will get support.
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Avatar universal
Thank You smiles. You made me feel a little better. Your a saint.  
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3176864 tn?1391555073
Hang in there the depression will lift soon especially if you can get some exercise.

My wife had zero sympathy as well and ultimately had enough of my on and off BS using pills.

Have you looked into any AA or NA meetings?  It will help you alot with the feelings you have and also with repairing damage done with the wife.

Make sure you just realize how you feel now is simply a chemical imbalance and not how you really feel. You have two choices push through or give up. You are roof far to give up and ultimately if you go back it sounds like you have a lot to lose
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5986700 tn?1380791380
Hey sweetie, welcome.     This is your addict brain panicking now trying to convince you you're better off taking the pills.   Depression is a beast...treat it as such...know that it's out there along with it's buddy addict brain waiting for you to be weak so they can trick you and pounce while you're vulnerable.  Be prepared .....drink lots of water...vitamins if you can stomache them....check Thomas recipe at bottom of page.....I'd steer clear of the benzos though.  Listen to joyous music that makes you happy...nothing nostalgically sad....watch funny shows or movies.....man exercise!!!! The best thing to do for your psyche! Move ...don't stop....dont give your mind time to double cross you.  Be conscious of your thoughts....as soon as the sh*t starts seeping in .......flush it out!  Replace with joyous thoughts,. It's a job this getting and keeping clean but uber worth it!   Friend, just remember...next time will be worse ....keep that close to memory when you think about giving in this time cuz of the ole depression dragon...don't let it beat you down....we're here with you.....post read post read post read..
Prayers of strength and hope bud, hugs, peace.
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Avatar universal
You are a gods sent. Wish I could hug you! Just reading your post has helped me mare than anything in the last 3 days. You are special people and I'm going to stay strong!!

Porvida god has a special places for you as well. Thank you all so very much. No words can say how much  a few post from stranger mean to someone who is in this mess alone.  God Bless You!
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Avatar universal
Dang, great post, Spider:)
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Avatar universal
You don't know me or my addiction problems but let me just say you are an inspiration to me. I've never been able to get past 24 hours without running to ER for help. I'm in the process of finding inpatient facilities so I can detox safely. I get suicidal when I wd and I'm on six or seven other prescription s so I need to go through detox and have the rest if mefs adjusted. So kudos to you and just remember your making a difference not just for yourself and family but to us in here as well.
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Avatar universal
Hi...well for starters you dont have to go threw this alone google n/a meetings in your area you will be welcome with a hug and you will have people that understand what your going threw.. N/A changed my life as you probably already know it is the'' mental mind screw'' that drives you back to using.. N/A will change the very way you think and the people truly care.. it will also show your wife that you are trying to do something about your problem it has made all the difference for my marriage  give it a shot and let us all know how it goes
................................................Gnarly............................................
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9880688 tn?1414115647
Hang in there Good.  I'm on day 5 and even though my husband is trying to be supportive I still feel alone and like I have no support except for the wonderful people in here.  I think unless you talk to people who have been or are going through what you are you will always feel that way.  You've gotten some wonderful advice and I can't add much more to it other than keep busy, watch some funny movies (you won't feel like laughing but it actually has been helping me).

It is going to get better...I feel a little better than I did yesterday and I'm sure I will feel even better tomorrow.  You are not a loser but from what I understand our emotions go crazy while detoxing.  I know I had several bawling sessions over the last few days, felt like everything was my fault and like I was worthless...so just understand what you are feeling is normal.  Just keep reminding yourself that you are a worthwhile human being and one who should be commended for going C/T to try to get clean.  That takes a great deal of courage...courage that many people don't have....so remember that..keep coming here.  You don't have to talk if you don't want to...but post how your day went...read the comments.  Lots of wonderful people in here...we will all support you!

Good luck ... I think you are going to do just fine!!!
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Avatar universal
Hey there! I'm on day 19 and finally feeling human again. The first few days were hell, then when detox eased up the emotional stuff came up. Last week I felt like I would never be able to be a part if anything again and felt like I was moving thri quicksand. My advice even now would be to use the restless leg medicine, baby yourself a little bit, sleep when you can and FORCE yourself to eat. Preferably nutritious food but right now any damn food is ok. Stay hydrated, eat bananas a lot. Don't try to get back to your old self. That self got you here. So as you heal start some new routines. Even if u only accomplish one single thing as your new clean self count it as a victory. Aftercare is MAJOR. It will not only help with your addiction but help you fix the things that broke inside of of you. You will be on a road to true rec
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Avatar universal
Hey there! I'm on day 19 and finally feeling human again. The first few days were hell, then when detox eased up the emotional stuff came up. Last week I felt like I would never be able to be a part if anything again and felt like I was moving thri quicksand. My advice even now would be to use the restless leg medicine, baby yourself a little bit, sleep when you can and FORCE yourself to eat. Preferably nutritious food but right now any damn food is ok. Stay hydrated, eat bananas a lot. Don't try to get back to your old self. That self got you here. So as you heal start some new routines. Even if u only accomplish one single thing as your new clean self count it as a victory. Aftercare is MAJOR. It will not only help with your addiction but help you fix the things that broke inside of of you. You will be on a road to true recovery not just freedoim from using. Include your wife as you can. My husband has amazed me. It's doable, don't give up, you are so close.
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Avatar universal
Ps keep checking in. The folks on this site seemed to reached thru the computer and pull me thru my detox. They still are with me but they were a major part of getting me here. Gnarly Kyle a couple Vickie's lu ibklee em weaver and a few others (you know who you are). These folks will stick with ya keep posting.
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Avatar universal
Because of all of you I made it through another sleepless and thrashing crazy night. Watched antenna tv and 3's company marathon. Laird on the shower for hours. But did make it. Actually went to corner gas station and got some coffee and some donuts for the kids. I know coffee probably isn't the best thing but it's been 9 days and wanted to see if it helped with energy. Not really but getting out for the first time felt kinda ok. When in store fir 3 minuted didn't think of my WD's. Anyhow just wanted to say thanks to all for all the support. My dogs actually came up into bed with me last night and have me some love and believe it or not gave me support. Just laid with me and didn't judge me. Felt real good to have a living thing next to me. Gonna try and make it a good day and give some support to someone else here. I really love you all for caring about a total stranger. Day 9 drug free..... :-)
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Avatar universal
I'm on day 3 and yesterday really sucked, but I'm pushing through for myself, my daughter, and my wife!! We can do it!!! You aren't suffering alone!! Think positive, pray, keep that addict mind from tricking you  back to the old ways.
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Avatar universal
I can totally relate to everything you have said.  Days 1-5 were hard.  Day 2 and 3 I cried for hours, had chills, RLS, and insomnia.  I literally thought I was gonna die.  But each day that passed it got a little bit better. Epsom salt baths were my best friend.  My husband tried his best to understand and be helpful but he has no idea.  Its been 3 weeks today for me and I am doing better.  I still miss that energy I got from the Norco's but I get up and make myself do my daily routine.  Just take it hour by hour if need be. That is what I did and get on this forum.  It has been my savior.  I am still battling the RLS but Hyland RLS helps some.  Hang in there!!!
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Avatar universal
U r doing great ur in day eight that is awesome I hope I do as good as ur doing I feel like depressed also but ur doing awsome
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