Norco 10/325 and Xanax 2mg HELP!!!!

[DADOF2PLUS1]

I have relapsed and started talking both Norco and Xanax daily.  I was clean for several months after years of addiction.  I originally got off the meds by taking Subox  for hydro and just stopped the xanax (I know it's supposed to be the hardest, but was easiest 4 me), some counseling (very little), and fear of my wife leaving and taking my family away from me.  I know I have to quit, but in-patient rehab really isn't the option I want with a demanding career, 3 kids under 5 (2 are 18 months old), and the cost even with insurance.

What do you all suggest....I had hid my pill taking until today when my wife confronted me and I confessed.  She wants me to go to rehab...I want to start back on Subox and start seeing an addiction specialist, plus NA.
Please give me some advice...I'm 34, have recently completed my MBA, started a great job last September, and know better, but here I am

[avisg]

I would diccuss it with your wife and doctor try to make the best plan up for you that will get you off the drugs and help make a sold rocverycare plan so you stay off of them. I sounds like you know everything you need to do its just a matter of putting it in place . How much are you on right now ?

[worried878]

Sounds like u know u Need to quit...u gotta Want to as well
Sub can help the wds if taken for 2-3 weeks...if taken long term it is addictive and can become a new DOC...but peeps gotta do what they gotta do..U have taken sub before so u already know sub doesnt make u clean//neither does rehab cos when u get out u r right back where u were and the temptation is there again,,rehab costs alot for many and if u could move into the facility for life then u would be cut off from drugs..but that is not reality...only YOU can make YOU clean!
Inpatient rehab is not the way most here do it/but some do this route..u didnt state ur dose..nor whether u r addicted to xanax..if u r addicted to narcotics plus benzos then most stop the narcotics first and then the benzo cos for most the benzo is the toughest plus it can ease narcotic wd//xanax is the strongest benzo on the market//other benzos like valium or librium may be a better choice...if u need to take a benzo right now..again i am not sure of ur doses nor whether u r addicted to the xanax

It isnt worth losing ur family over//substance abuse is just not worth it and this u know..if u feel like u can not stay clean without a maintenence narcotic like sub or methadone, then it may be a choice 4 u...but in the end u gotta do the work including support of some type on an almost daily basis for many until u get thru the mental aspect which can be 90 days for some//or more for others..we r all different...hence the saying by AA...90 meetings in 90 days///this saying has a foundation as this is how long the brain needs to heal enuf to where we dont feel so tired and depressed after detox...the brain needs to heal
Many use the Thomas recipe located in the health pages//lots of great info there..making a plan, be it a taper of CT..or sub..is a great start...as a rule sub is RX-ed or chosen by those with heavy use and continous relapse over and over...it can be a lifetime thing or a short term thing depending on ur goals..many come here stuck on this sticky drug so before choosing long term sub i would weigh my options./.but that is me and we r all different..in the end most can not do this alone and aftercare is crucial for long term recovery//addiction is a mean disease and unfortunately it never goes away//accepting this..the fact that u can never use again without slowly or quickly digging a deep dark hole that u will have to dig urself out of over and over///and dirt gets heavy after a while

Tapering can be tough for an addict...often we need someone to hold the pills and dole them out daily, also write out the taper and pick a Quit day...CT or tapering requires cutting off supply for most...no refills, dealers, doctors or firiends who give or sell them to u must be informed of ur wishes to avoid temptation

Everyone has their bottom they must hit before letting go ..sounds as if u r not willing to lose ur family over drug use...Deep down, do u want to stop?  Is it bugging u?  other than possibly losing ur family?  When an addict becomes sick and tired of being sick and tired they will let go cos it just taint no fun anymore..as a rule it comes from within..ur inner soul rebels as an attempt to save ur identity..ur person..an attempt to be who u were, who u r, and the struggle to keep from losing urself to drugs//cos they will take u with them to nowhere if u do not let go..a very sad disease..cos u feel what u r doing but u still can not stop...it is a disease that weaves a spider web around ur brain and u dont think like ur old self anymore...drugs can become more imortant than food or water if we get too deep into this nightmare..even more important than family and friends..very sad cos it is sumpin we do even tho we dont even really want to anymore..and we physically put our DOC in our mouth, nose or veins knowing they r destroying us..slowly but surely

Anyway..guessing there r a few ways to stop...CT, taper, sub or methadone which neither in reality is stpping narcotics cos both drugs are narcotics, rehab is also a choice...but none of them will work if u r not totally ready to let go and do the work u need to do on ur triggers and the reasons u feel the ned to use..or abuse..in order to live life
Life is so very short in the scheme of things..our choices are our own..what we r ailling to lose before letting go..or whether we decide to never let go..but there is no happy ending to continuing to use for most

Keep posting..feel free to pm me if u need any support...and above all hang on tight to ur family..and urself

[Ella789]

Sorry that it has been so long and no ones' replyed to your post.  Sometimes it is a tough call but if you feel like you have no other option then  I think you may consider going back to the Sub and do a tapper under a Dr.s' care.  It beats living in heck like you are now.  And please go for counceling or na support.  It will help with the emotional side of addiction and that is tough, as we all know !  
Wish I could say more to help you out but please see an addiction specialist about the sub program and talk to him/her about things going on in your life.

Ella