Not Sure

[ThisIsIt983]

I picked today as my quit day. I have been tapering & it has worked out ok, I am not on as high a level as i was. I am prescribed 270 mgs a day but was usually taking it up as high as 340 mgs or higher, Needless to say i would run out early every month then the chase would start. It has been very hard to taper & this month when i got my meds that all went out the window. I started to w/d last night even after having 2 1/2 30's in me.

This morning i took nothing. Had a horrible night. Slept on the couch so my husband could sleep. I am in full blown w/d's now. Have only went thru this once before. My problem is this. My youngest son who works out of town a lot is back. He lives with his g/f. I have only met her once before. He called & left a message last night that him & his g/f are coming by for a visit today. He does not know of my addiction. I did tell him 2 yrs ago that i had a problem with my pills but that i was quitting. I still have a couple left. Do i take them so i am not sick when they are here?

I really want to see my son cause i don't get to see him that much & I certainly do not want his new gf to know i am an addict. On top of that we are due for a severe ice & snow storm. My son is only 23 & has been thru enough in his life growing up w/o a father. I so want to see him & not be in my first day of cold turkey. I was very sick the one & only time i went thru this hence the thousands of dollars i have spent not to be sick when i would run out early. I really want to get this over with. I have a lot of stomach problems because of all the pills i have ingested over the past 3 yrs. What should i do?

It's almost as if my son has a 6th sense cause he will show up when i am not feeling well.  I know he  suspects something but i don't want to embarrass him in front of his gf. This is his first serious relationship & i do not want to ruin it for him. I just don't know what to do. Could someone please tell me what should i do? Take just enough so i am not sick? If i don't i will not even be able to get dressed. Any comments will be greatly appreciated.

Thank You & God Bless

[Charetti]

Hi Katie,
I so feel for you. Tapering made it easier but there is no excaping that wd. I still went through awfulness, and on day 5 I still think to myself "if only I took just one pill"  But then I grab myself and give myself a shake.  I wont let this be for nothing! I am here for you my friend, anytime.  I will check in later to see how you are doing.

HUGS

[ThisIsIt983]

Thank you for your kind words & prayers. Katie

[Dafishman]

Katie,

There will never a good time to get clean. Just make the decision to do it and do it. Flush the devils and join us in the fight. Yes you will be sick, yes your son's visit will not be as pleasurable as it could be .......

BUT

Think about this,,,,, If you flush now and stay the course the next visit with your son will be amazing! He will enjoy time with the mother he remembers from childhood. The light will be back in your eyes and death will no longer have a hold on you.  When we use it's death, jails or institutions. There are no there destinations with drugs.

You can do this just like us,,,I promise you can.

I just said a prayer for you Katie.

Take care & God bless you,

Dafishman

[ThisIsIt983]

He should be here any minute. I did manage a long hot shower helped a bit. Then he called & told me what time he will be here. I feel horrible haven't ate a thing can barely keep down water. Well you know. He is just so used to seeing me not feel well. About the only time i felt good was the day i got my scripts. I am really feeling depressed too so i know seeing him & all the life in him will help. My kids are the only light in my life at this point. I am just feeling so sick & so down. Thank you all for your support. There is no way i could get thru these days w/o it.   Katie

[gnarly_1]

hey girlee ....you may not want to cancel that visit ...my wife made shure I got out and about during my detox despite my complaining it was to soon to go any where and in the end the short trips to the store and my kids visiting helped a lot my kids new I was going thew detox and my daughters checked in daily to see how i was doing...I was able to pull myself together and visit with them prity normally even though I wasent quite up to par...it helped to have them come and visit it gets your mind off things...gets you out of your misery for a wile...so go ahead and have him over tell him you think you have a touch of the flu ...im shure he will understand...and you will do alot better then you think...good luck and God bless...Gnarly    

[ThisIsIt983]

W/d's have really kicked in.The floodgates have opened I am sneezing, I am throwing up the whole nine yards. I don't have to into anymore detail. Everyone on here understand c/t w/d's. I thought if i tapered down some it would not be so bad. I was very wrong. It is bad. Tapering was not working well anyway.

I think i am going to cancel my sons visit. But it makes me so sad to have to do that to him. He is such a good kid. He doesn't drink, do drugs or even smoke cigarettes. I am sitting here crying sick as a dog thinking about my son coming to see me & i am dope sick. I feel like such a bad mom right now. I know it is the w/d's talking but still. I can't believe i raised such a good kid. I can't stop crying. Why today of all the days.

[dominosarah]

This the time when you have to hear what you NEED to hear, not what you WANT to hear!!

My dog used to lay on my feet and that would help the RLS some or i would cradle her in my arms when they were going mach 10.  Get the supplements as soon as you can.....bananas are good too!!

[ThisIsIt983]

Yeah kinda. You made me laugh though as sick as i am.

To Sara: Yes i am ready just need to get a few more supplement like the Hylands Restless Legs I get real bad RLS & restless arms to boot. My legs kicked all night off & on especially this morning. I also moan a lot. Sounds weird but it helps. Drives my husband up a wall.

Thank you all so much. God Bless   Katie

[Calamity2]

everything BUT what you wanted to hear right?

[pharma9]

Stick with your plan...flush the last of the pills and get on with it.If you take the vitamins and nutrients you may not be as bad as you think..and if you are just tell him you've got a bout of the flu.Good luck and keep us posted.

[sweatinit]

Hey Girl, I am sory you're having this struggle today. I understand where you're coming from with your son, BUT you can be sick. I had a freidn visit me and i was sick as a dog. It did actually make me feel a bit better. It forced me to get outside of my misery for awhile. No need for explanations today other than to say "a little under the weather today, but you are welcome to come understanding I may not be up for kart wheels". If he decides not to come, you will see him again and next time, you will be clean...totally! I would flush what you have left. Teh temptation will be so great, especially on days 2-5. I hope you feel better soon! Stay strong, my friend. We are all doing this toegther!!

[dominosarah]

Think POSITIVE!!  We have to go thru this miserable part to get to the other side. Force yourself to get up and move around.  Drink plenty of fluids and take hot baths or showers.  Any supplements?

[dominosarah]

I would flush whatever you have left.....those pills will call your name until you do.  It might make you actually feel better to see your son.  If you cant tell him what is going on right away just say you are not feeling well.  You wont embarrass your son as i am sure his gf understands when someone is sick.  Stick with your plan here, those pills gotta go tho.......sara

[ThisIsIt983]

I am very serious about this. I have been posting & have built up a good support group before i took the plunge. I am so tired of what these meds have done to my life. I am constantly depressed & have isolated myself from my family & friends. Except of course the ones who are using. I even got rid of the main supplier a month or two ago. That is how bad i want this. If i didn't i sure would have kept him cause he never ran out & would deliver. But i told him off in no uncertain terms. Then took responsiblity for what i had done.  

It is just that i have only gone thru w/d's one time & i remember being so bad i could not leave my room for 5 days i was so sick. A couple of days i could barely walk. I do take the meds for severe chronic pain due to neck & back surgeries but because of all the other problems this has brought i would rather try otc meds. When i quit smoking about 9 yrs ago i quit with a full pack. I quit c/t but they were my security blanket. I may do the same not sure yet. I meant to type another title but am feeling pretty sick so i am having a hard time even sitting here. Thank you for you quick response.

[Calamity2]

First of all if you are serious about being done. This is my answer. Flush now.  You don't have to imbarass your son in front of his gf. You can tell both of them you are happy to see them now and hope to see more of them.  You are under the weather and may have to rest some. If you choose when your son is alone tell him. He may want to help. Get supplies or help out etc.