Woo hoo - 5th May 2014 and I am 3 years clean and sober today!!!! Thought I would share my good news with you - 3 years clean of those awful, insidious white pills otherwise known as N+!
And for me, staying clean has only been possible thanks believing in a higher power, who in my case happens to be God, going to Narcotics Anonymous, and ACCEPTING UNCONDITIONALLY THAT I AM AN ADDICT, and am powerless over drugs, as is N+!!
Wishing you all the best!
Counting down to 5 May 2014 when, god willing, I will be 3 years clean and sober; clean of that insidious pill - N+ - which nearly killed me Easter Bank Holiday Monday in 2011, resulting in a 10-day stint in hospital.
By the time N+ was ready to finish me off, kill me, I was on 32 per day, having started on 2 here and there 2 years beforehand.
My view, and it is my personal one, clean for me means ZERO N+ pills, not 1 or 2 here and there or every fortnight. If I have this attitude I leave the door open for that insidious pill to ensnare me when I least expect it.
Clean for me means complete abstinence from N+, and I say this because with hindsight and recovery helped by NA, I can see how those white evils got me.
I thought I had them “licked”; but what I didn’t realise is that I had unwittingly crossed that line where I wanted to stop, couldn't stop taking the white evils, but had to take them in order to feel normal, keep off the shakes, sweats, function, live, go to work etc. I was the walking dead, and I never ever want to feel like that again.
And thank god recovery is possible! And recovery for me means:
1) Accepting on a daily basis that I am addict, my life becomes unmanageable when I use N+ of which I am completely powerless. I apply the same thinking to alcohol.
2) Going to NA meetings, sharing and developing a spiritual connection with a higher power of my understanding.
3) Doing the NA steps.
Wish me luck that I get to 3 years, and in order to get there I will continue as I have being doing for nearly 3 years.
It is a good feeling to say today that by 5th May 2014, god willing, I hope to report that I will have had a 100% success rate – I will have not had had a single drug or drink – over the last 3 years!
Best of luck to all.
Hi I've been taking N+ for 3 years and know exactly what you mean when you say, you enjoy taking them - me too, I like the high and the extra confidence they give me. Now I've started to see that I'm an addict and must stop, which I've began today by only taking 6 N+ instead of 36.
Good luck to you
Hi everyone, I last posted in 2012, September. I kept on taking these things but last September I stopped and now only take them occasionally, perhaps 5 or 6 once a fortnight. It's good, I don't crave them or think my evenings are torment without them. I just live a regular lifestyle and deal with real feelings as I get them. That's life and it's good. It's good to be truly yourself and not to be poisoning yourself, wasting money, lying to people, driving miles to find new chemists, living an illusion. I just hope I haven't done too much damage.
It took me a few days of getting it down in halves over a week and now I've been clear long enough to know I'm never going back. Good luck, everyone, there is easily enough good stuff about a sober life to make it worth trying!
Cali.
This New Year marks the anniversary of me taking N+ for 10 years straight. not something I'm proud of I started taking 2 a day, the thing is I didn’t take it for anything in particular I took it knowing that the last time I had a head ache they made me feel good so it was purely a feel good factor and then it escalated and now I’m taking 32 a day and have been taking that amount for the last 2 years it's been increasing, the new year marks a change and I think I've done pretty well so far I've taken my dose down to 6 a day and with in a few weeks will bring that down to 4 and so on I started well before Xmas and it's a long road but I've been here before when I gave up smoking so I know I can do this, the trouble is N+ is like smoking to me I love taking them I enjoy the kick they give me it's sad and pathetic that I see it that way and very shameful but that's why I never wanted to give it up I'm giving up now as I feel generally unwell all that N+ is toxic for the Liver and Kidneys and if I don’t stop soon then Ill be pushing up daisies plus I’ve just recently got married and I don’t want my wife to be a widow, she does not know about my addiction…nobody does but you get to a point where you grow so tired of travelling the 4 corners of the globe telling lies to pharmacist’s just to get me a fix, nothing worse than when you go into a chemist and you hear whispers from the staff “oh look there’s than man again”
So new year and plenty of changes, when I first dropped my dosage I felt it, really did feel like crap so while easing off N+ I've been taking a Vitamin called Wellman which really does help me no end it takes the edge off the N+ withdrawal but with a bit of wheel power I can beat this once and for all, what would make me happy is not having to be a customer in a chemist for the wrong reasons… no more lies…and a bit more money in my pocket, each box of 32 in the UK is £7 that is £49 a week, when I think how many pills I’ve sank in the 10 years I’m surprised I’m still here to tell the story I mean even if I was taking only 32 a week I would of put away 16640 tablets over 10 years, yet mine is over that figure and to think I’ve spent well over £4000 it’s ridiculous and has to stop, I take each day as it comes, I find the secrete is not to sit around being idle…do things and keep the mind occupied, I’ve recently gone back to the Gym as this help’s a lot I don’t feel like it at all but I have to burn this out of me and get the body back to normal again and hey I feel so much better in health thank god
Hi there and welcome! This is an older thread that you are posting on. You will get much more support if you create your own post. Just go to the top of the page and hit the 'post a question' link. There is also a forum called 'living with an addict' that would be a great place to get support from others going through similar things. Please don't let your husband's behavior make you feel like any less of a wife. Unfortunately he is doing what addicts do best. Lying, making excuses, and manipulating. You are going to have to give him a big dose of tough love. Don't enable his use in any way. That may mean making some serious ultimatums and standing behind them. I know it's a very hard thing to do, but it may be necessary. He is going to do what he wants regardless of how it affects you or anyone else. It doesn't have anything to do with how much he loves you, or how good of a wife you are. Addicts can be very selfish and get so wrapped up in their addiction that they can't see anything else. Please get yourself educated about the disease and get some support. Don't let him drag you and your family down with him. Take care of yourself and please try to keep your head up.