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OPINIONS PLEASE!

I have a pars defect and quick explanation.... Stress fracture in my spine.... Obviously you can guess I'm talking pain killer addiction. I'm not gunna get into my history to much but have been perscribed pills for years for legit reasons and if I don't take something I feel a knife in my back. Pain killers provide a life for me that was never possible before. Sad thing is I'm only 28 but now I am able to do things like go to the fair, walk around, ride on the rides, things I should've been doing 5 years ago and couldn't. Well anyway long story short, to late I know, its gotten out of hand. I mean I'm up to 25 norco 10/325 a day. When I 1st get my refil that is. Then when those 150 are gone I am forced to slow down cuz then I have to buy them. I am also prescribed Tramadol to help with breakthrough but I can't balance it. I never want to go back to my life before pain killers but now I feel like the pain killers are my life. Am I already in to deep to find a medium that works for me?
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Avatar universal
So many of your comments give me hope. Its amazing how similar so many stories are to mine. Bluespence you give me hope and a sense of encouragement that I can manage this thing right, you asked if I take that many due to my tolerance or cuz I want to get high, well I guess its both really but I dont get high anymore. But when i slow down yes I feel awful but i push through. So I have to at least try. Worried yes I financially i cant do this anymore. Im a total closet drug addict no one fully knows how bad this has gotten. Well except you guys now. Something has to change for me cuz I to hate what Ive become. Sara I am very grateful to find someone with similar issues luckily I am petite but on top of the pars fracture i also have scoliosis and arthritis. So Ifeel I can relate to many of you. Im thinking more about this in the past 24 hrs while reading everyones comments and personal stories then I ever have before. Everyone is so helpful so thank you all. I dont feel so alone anymore.
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Pills give us a false sense of security.  Your tolerance will go up and things will only get worse.  Please get some help with this.  This is your life we are talking about.  There is hope and you can live without being a prisoner to these pills.......its a dead end road if you dont.         sara
Helpful - 0
199177 tn?1490498534
When someone is taking 25 a day and buying them off the streets they are not in control of there usage .

Angel most people can control there pain without opiates its not east at first it takes some time but at least for me it was worth it . I need to have both the joints in my jaw replaced I am putting it off as long as possible because there is no guarantee if they go in there that they can be fixed .I was on meds for years my life started being controlled by meds it was wrecking my life so I got off them close to 1000 days ago best they I ever could have done for myself and my kids ..
If its what you choose you can do it too ...
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
I did not mean to insinuate that u thot it was cool....i just was asking the reasons u wanted to stop..sometimes repeating those reasons can help
Mine were financial.yep goin broke bothered me,,,it bothered me that sumpin was controlling me,,,it bothered me that i had to take more and more and got to a point where i didnt even get a buzz anymore.....they made me depressed and i was disappointed in myself
I also have chronic pain...DDD and fusions...suregery is not sumpin i am gonna do again
I get injections 2-3 times a yr, chiropractic helps me most, yoga helps me really more than anything, ice, heat, anti-inflamatories and muscle relaxers during episodes, cats claw of biofreeze...massage is great too
The pills really have no direct effect on pain..they interrupt the signal to ur brain and in a way u just do not care that u hurt when u take them
good luck to u and keep posting
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
HI I to suffer with back problems I have 2 herniated disks 1 on l4/l5 and 1 on l5/s1 and I also have 3 more deteriorating I did the pain pill thig for 10yrs then after every conceivable
pill quit working they moved me to methadone....went form 30mg to 150ml in a mater of 6 1/2yrs then it quit working also...thats when my troubles really started I was left with a huge addiction to break but over 8 1/2mo I broke free of it...now that im narcotic free
im in less pain then when I was on 150ml of methadone...once you stop putting narcotics into your body your pain clock sorta resets itself and things like 800mg ibuprofin actually start to work again...you just need to break out of the narcotics...its like this for many of us...ether way your up to 25 a day you need to stop b/4 you do damage to your kidneys or liver..you have came to a great place to help you do this
we will be here for your support and to help you along the way you can ether taper off or just jump C/T ether way will work but you defiantly need off the pills...keep posting and reading the post good luck and God bless...Gnarly    
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
I have pars fracture on my L-5.  Once i quit abusing meds my pain level went down.  I can control it with Motrin now.  I just had to give up some things that i was doing that would cause more pain.  Keeping my weight down also helps.  There are things that you can do to help ease the symptoms.......sara
Helpful - 0
210982 tn?1280983895
I don't think it is ever too late, especially when you say that you are able to slow down with your usage when you have to buy them. To me that shows you have some control. So you have to ask yourself how serious are you about using your meds appropriately?? If the meds truly give you a life you couldn't have because they keep your pain under control and you don't want to lose that then playing with your dosage and taking too many pills needs to stop now. If you allow it to get out of control and your Doctor finds out they could take your script completely for abusing them. I hope this makes sense, because I am trying to offer you some hope. I think that because you can control your pill intake when you are forced to buy them on the streets, then you can control your pill intake all month. I hope this is helpful...

Do you take 25 a day to get high or because your tolerance is increasing?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It makes me so sad that I've let it get this outta control. I was finally happy and i took it to far avisg what do you do to help the pain? Worried .... That was seriously deep and I wouldn't be here if I thought this was cool but your both right ......  
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
If u mean..r u in too deep to go back to using responsibly?   I would say yes...it is almost impossible for someone who abused narcotics and is an addict to go back and take the recommeded 6 daily or whatever.  U r not in to deep to stop but at ur dose, u need to tackle it cos it is definitely a high dose.  When a person runs out often, or buys pills ..it is time to take a look at what is going on with ur person as a rule.
When a person is taking 25 pills a day..it is not really about pain anymore
You named the reasons that u like using in ur post
What are the reasons that u wanna stop?
Helpful - 0
199177 tn?1490498534
No you are never in to deep but you are going to have to make a decision. You are an addict and you are abusing your meds once you start abusing them its hard to go back .Many of us deal with chronic pain but because of our addictions we can no long use pain meds so we find other ways to deal with our pain .It absolutely can be done if that's truly you want but only you can answer that .
Helpful - 0
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