Oxy taper... and paralyzed by fear

[sunshinegal76]

I have been taking 10-15 (maybe even more?) oxy 30 mg a day for months now. I stopped counting. :( I need a plan to taper off these damn things. I started out on Norco in late 2008 for back pain, and recently my wonderful doctor switched me to oxy 20 mg hcl (I don't even know what the hell it all means) a couple of months ago. I was up to 15, sometimes 20 Norco a day with hardly any result. I am waking up with chest pains sometimes and urinating frequently and I'm really terrified. TERRIFIED. So much so that I could barely write this.

The oxy is far more addictive is it not? I have been on it a few months and I feel waaay more hooked than the norcos. I want to do a taper but the minute I feel uncomfortable I pop a couple. I am feeling so powerless and when I read the posts on here, I have to be honest.. how do you guys do it? I DON'T FEEL STRONG ENOUGH :(

I know it's an excuse, but I have to work. And I am currently living with family and can't lounge around without suspicion. I am feeling very trapped. I thought about the sub a lot and have no experience with it, but it may be my only hope? That or taper, but I need some support and a plan. Thank you so much in advance for your help. Much love to you all.

[sunshinegal76]

I can't sit still even when I've gone 12 hours so I can't imagine being normal and sitting here with family without crawling the walls. Does that really happen or are pictures like that only in my head? Ugh.

[sunshinegal76]

Still here and can't thank you enough for your replies. How many days off work shall I request? I know to look up the thomas recipe as well as amino acid protocol. Since I have been on these things -either norco or oxy - for a few years will my w/d's be longer?

I have been thinking of searching for a suboxone doc. because I feel so weak. I can try saying that I have the flu for a week (do ppl get the flu during the summer?) and plan for the days. I have read so many ppl on here that say they still feel like hell after 1 week! I am scared, but the fact that you guys have done it gives me strength to believe I am capable too.

Thank you once again from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you.

[atthebeach]

the fear of the unknown can paralyze you.......
there is nothing to fear but fear itself.........
just take it minute by minute,step by step,day by day.........
dont worry about tomorrow we only have today.........
go into it with a postive attitude.........
encourage yourself that you are getting clean......
that is a reason to rejoice.........
have faith.....
be strong.....
pray.....
debbie

[MissMalibu]

Think of w/d's as a bad flu.  Use your time off work to your advantage.  Tell the family that you are living with that you have the flu and don't feel well if you can not confide in them. It will help keep the peace and you won't be seen as lounging around.  You can do this and it is only for a few days. Take justneedtotalk's advice I did and it will work for you.  Make a plan and stick with it. Center it around your days off.  Good luck and God Bless you Keep us posted.

[justneedtotalk]

Taper's work for some but most cannot do it.  I personally feel that tapering is like slowly ripping off a bandaid....It prolongs the pain much longer for little advantage.  This will not kill you.  Many many have been where you are at today including myself.  Cold turkey is the best way.  There are many things that you can buy that will help you get through the worst parts.  You truly need to decide if you are truly done and not just getting nervous about your habit.  If you are committed and truly want to do this you need to have enough left so that you can create a plan, get the vitamins and supplements that you will need and prepare with family, work, and friends.  

Let us know and we can give you a list of things you will need.  Pick a date and do not have more than that last day worth of supply.  Erase ALL numbers of contacts and do not answer if you know their numbers.  Get a support group or find yourself an AA or NA meeting.  You can do this, you just have to want it.....You will have to want to save your life because that is truly what you are deciding to do.  You have not been taking OC for long so your withdrawal will be rough but not that long.  You are very smart to get out now before it becomes a huge problem......Good luck and God bless!

[tinabe40]

sorry...but keep thinking of your post. Tapering don't help alot...for some maybe but it keeps the want there...throw them away..you can do it. Coming off one a day is as bad as coming off 10, 20, 50...know wat i mean??? Ur gonna wd...can't get past that.

[tinabe40]

BTW, the addiction is 2/3 mental remember that too...triggers are something you need to watch for...anything that sets u to wanting a pill(s). So when you feel a trigger do something else to fill that void..you've got to retrain your brain.

[tinabe40]

well, im only on day 8 and im coming off of 50/day habit. (10mg tabs). My back is killing me, but hey, on the upside the physical wds have slowed down alot!! You can do this but you really have to want it. I had so many opportunities to buy, but I didnt'. You can do this..no excuses..just do it. Look up the thomas remedy...it helps. Remember nothing you really want is easy to accomplish, but you have to do it for you then you will....everyday gets easier.