Hi room for 1 more? :-) I am addicted to Prescription Drug's which have been prescribe for Chronic Pain, M.E Fibromyalgia, Neuropathic pain ,basically if it end's in PAIN i have it.:-( I did get off the Codine And the Oxy for 7 months BUT the Hospital put me back on them via an IV drip against me protesting i didn't want them. But i was in to much pain to o anything and could hardly talk due to the shaking, increasing pain etc, ALL the reason's i was put on them AND wd's coming back 10 fold after month's off of them?
I never Knew about PAWS or 'Kindling' until i joined an Alcohol Forum to go CT from the Alcohol . I then ended up AF (Alcohol free for almost 6 months coming up) and FU( F**KED UP) On and off but the on is now more frequent than the off. The PAW'S and pain takes my breath away and my Mental Realm? OMG!! I have also stopped smoking Cigarettes and weed 3 week's ago and am also trying to 'Kick'' a Coffee Addiction i picked up after not touching it for the occasional Cup like 3 or 4 a year, for over 30 year's after stopping drinking. And also ended up an Ice Cream and Chocolate Monster and i NEVER usually eat that stuff!!. But it's common in ex drinkers due to messed up sugar level's which it's self can trigger off Alcoholism. But my drinking started when i dated some one i thought just liked to party an had it all under control as he worked and NEVER had Hang over's and i started srinking in the day on W/E byt he only did day times now and again. It's his pattern to start around 2-4pm when off work and get smashed when the Soccer season starts all day every week end. But my Mum became il and died from Cancer and he took this as a red flag to start beating me up? So i started drinking all day every day and smoking 3 or 4 ounces of weed and 6o Cigarettes on thier own or in joints. My Mum thought he was wonderful i couldn't tell her the truth? She was dying and i felt like i was dying with her. I nearly went before her i went in to Anaphalaxic Shock due to the stress and trying to cut the Oxy and Benzo's down and i was also stopping and starting the drink and Cig's evry week or 2 for 5 day's to a week. If i had know THAT is the easy way to get PAWS and Kindling, i would NEVER have drank no matter what after the first try. I thought i was safer being as i was taking time out and the now ex and his Family how are ALL long term Alcoholic's on both sides never a break from it? WRONG!! Now i am getting a real good kicking from stopping ALL the booze Cig's, Junk Food, Cutting the Coffee down BUT i have got to STOP it completley today as i now got Raynards Syndrome and my joint's everywhere are hell!! And The Oxy's cause BIG problems to your health as well. I got thing's wrong now tha were DEFFINATELY caused by the Oxy's as i read up and it's KNOWN side effect's?
So the DR's think it's ok to give you a Drug that destroy's your helath and the Pharma's make it? So why aren''t THEY shot or jailed? They've done MORE Damage to all living creatures than EVERY street drug dealer since the Earth was made!!! I can't do this alone any more, i can't!! I
am worn out trying to do everything with no one around me knowing how bad it is too be ill and made 100 times worsre by so called help? And end up a Drug Addict on 2 of the worse drugs in the world, and Diazapam (Vallium) is well know to be the worse one ever?? Why? Why are these people doing this and why hasn't all the so called 'Revalutionist'' stopped them like so many other thing's hundred's of year's ago where it ALL began?
I don't understand? If i had known before what i know NOW I would gladly go to jail if it meant billions were spared the torment and hell ,suffering and death to keep everyone safe. And if i wasn't in such a mess i would bloody do it now!! I am sorry but there you go we ALL feel like that i know and i an truly sorry for ALL of you sufferinf i am NOT saying it's just me i understand and of course i know i'm not the only one. But i need to shrae/be amongst people i don't have to try an keep explaning thing's to and don't care as long as it's not THEM any way. But i am reading other's post as well and i need to 'Taper' before i end up with no pill's left and have to Jump, i did Jump at15mg's of Oxy before after being on 120-200mg's a day before. But because i was weaning down then off i used to get rid of any spare ones so i never had enough to bump the dose up again.
I did get off the Oxy's again over a few months ans stopped them for 3 months and was just taking Codine at a lower dose than i was pescribe. But when the pain kept flaring up i think it was probably the PAWS i kept forgetting about ''THE HEALING CRISES'' and bumped the Codine up to well over my prescribed dose and took the oxy's instead not realising that an oxy 5mg is the same as a Codine 30mg?
So i was taking them at the same dose as the Codine which has now put me on a much bigger dose of opiates and a worse drug than Codine. Like most people who suffer Chronic pain and get the addiction ''By Proxy'' i am afraid ot the pain i have PLUS the W/D's form the Oxy. And i cut my Diazapam dose from 6mg and i now take between 8 and 12 i think? This is because i got real bad brain fog an don't or can't remember what i'm doing!! I write it down then forget or throw out what ever it's written on. I am hoping and parying for ALL of us.
I am scared and alone BUT i feel terribly for EVERYONE going through this. If i had the money i would set up a place where everyone could go for free and be looked after and whole again and get their life back on track. I am so hoping to get well and get out there and help other's i don't like to just ''Talk BS'' and do FA, if i was able now i would do more but as of now it's not possible.
But i think it's helpful to work as a team and even though it's ''Cyber Space'' that doesn't matter, you can still have Compassion and empathy for those who also are or feel thier struggling alone in this world, it's wrong no one should be. But i am hoping to get my ''Will do/Can do'' head back on again and FAST!! i NEED TO STOP THESE oxy's asap as thier doing more damage i am really tempted to JUMP!! But i am too scared after what happened to me the last few times and i had fit's as well as other stuff i had no control i over. Love and may everyone find their way and strength. Love Tswana <3 xxxx