Hi and welcome to the forum!
We have all been where you are at. First thing you need to do is cut all your sources. You cant keep that avenue open and be successful. There is no happy ending to this addiction so i am glad to hear you are wanting out. There is a ton of support here so stick around.
I'm 23 year old and I'm like you...I would take 10 or 12 tab ten down the hatch everyday..then perk tens and Roxi when I could buy them...I'm 44 hours in cold turkey...it ***** but you can do it..we can do it
I disagree with dominosarah - sorry dominosarah. There is a happy ending to this addiction. The detox and acute care phase ***** and you have to have long term after care to maintain sobriety but once you break free its the best feeling in the world. The other posters are right there is ton of support. If you have not been able to stop yourself you may want to consider inpatient detox program. I also agree with Dominosarah on cutting your sources. You need to ditch every negative influence that could threaten your sobriety but you also need to line up a safety net. Call your local NA for a sponsor and guidance.
ok medhelp s u c k s is not a bad word...
Hi there ad welcome! Most addicts find that just biting the bullet so to speak and quitting cold turkey is the best approach. Tapering is also an option, but is not ideal unless you are doing it under the supervision of a doctor and have someone to be accountable to. As addicts, we can't control our usage, that's why we are in this mess. Quitting cold turkey will get the detox over much quicker and then you can begin your new life and work on your recovery. Cutting your sources and setting up some form of after care is key to having long term success. Whether it's counseling, NA/AA meetings, church, meditation, yoga, etc doesn't matter. What matters is that you find a combination of things that help you to learn new and healthy coping skills, and create a new an healthier you. This will be a lifelong battle, but it does get easier with time. You can do this as long as you set yourself up to be successful and surround yourself with support. Good luck to you!
P.S. I believe DominoSarah was saying that there is no happy ending to ACTIVE addiction. Of course there are happy endings for us recovering addicts.
I'm just wondering, after reading your story, what are you wanting to do? Are you tired of spending all of your money on your dope?
Are you tired of hurting yourself physically and mentally?
Are you tired of being scared of running out?
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?
Your still young, you have a lot of life ahead of you. But you won't if you continue on the road your on. Are you ready? Are you ready to get your life back and your self respect? If you are, we are more than ready to help you make a plan and get started with getting your life back. My opinion, YOU need to decide what YOU want....what do you want?
"I do want to stop BUT...."
Just change this to "I want stop AND I will do whatever it takes."
Every day I think about all the reasons I want to stay clean, and vow to continue with my recovery program.
This Forum is a wealth of good information. Friendly helpful people who have seen it all.
Keep coming back and welcome!
Hi there thanks for your reply...Of course I want to stop and everyday I get up you just feel there's something in the back of my head saying 1 more day one more day ill stop tomorrow...And today is no different...I have tried putting in place like expensive gym membership at the start of this year and im still waiting to phone them and say ok im starting tomorrow...I am a pretty quiet person by nature and even something as simple as gym membership scares the hell out of me and I don't know why...
If I'm understanding you correctly, you take anywhere from 5/12 pain pills a day. When you wake up, it's that voice in your head that tells you NOT TODAY, maybe I'll start tomorrow (my excuse was always there's too much I have to get done today). I decided on Jan 1st to be done with ALL of it. Coming off of opiates will take 5/6 days for the physical w/d to start to subside, but in no way is that all you have to do! I find that the people that are successful at this are the people that w/d, and have an aftercare program in place that they start IMMEDIATELY once they can get back up and running. There's a Thomas Taper Recipe on this website that helps with the w/d for the 1st 3 days to help you to be comfortable, FIND IT!
Being clean (I have a little over 4 months) has been one of the hardest things I've done in my entire life, but worth every ounce of pain and suffering I've gone through so far! You will see things so differently once you get all of this **** out of your system! Do you have any family or friends near you that you can enlist to help you on this journey? I don't mean to sound pushy, but I want you to truly know that since being clean, it's been sooooo worth the pain you go through in the beginning! I would suggest you take some time from work, if possible, maybe a week, go c/t, get the garbage out of your system, then start a program either N/A (that's where I go and have found LOTS of support!), counselor, church, whatever you need, but DO SOMETHING! Because if willpower was all it took NONE OF US WOULD BE HERE! Takes way more than willpower. Let us know what date you chose to start....:) push, push, push......lol
Thanks for your reply...This is so hard feel like crap as well I would do anything for this to go away...Today had my usual 12 pain killers and 8 nytol...rite at this second typing this Im thinking how am I gunna quit these...keep telling myself from tomorrow on...I am gunna have to stop or this will end up in a very bad way I know that...So from tomorrow this stops it has to because I don't want my life to end at 35...This is bound to be having an effect in my tummy is n it?
Welcome to the forum, Raime. I'm gonna guess that you are from the Newry in Northern Ireland.... not the Newry in Maine in the US...just guessin? Not that it matters, it's just that drugs that are controlled vs. OTC (over the counter) in the US are different than in other countries.
Because I was not familiar with the sleep aid, Nytol, I looked it up on Wikipedia. It says it's a sedative antihistamine....it can be bought over the counter in the UK and Canada....so not sure "how" you get it or buy it?
You say you usually throw down 8 at a time....and that's ON TOP of throwing down 8-10 painkillers (15-500's) at a time!!!
So, because you are 35 yrs old....it's REALLY time you read about the "reality"/scientific facts....I mean maybe you are not aware of what you are doing to your body on a daily basis. I won't bore you with all I read on Wikipedia about Nytol....but since I'd never heard of it....I'll share a few tidbits:
"Nytol is a sedative antihistamine."
"Diphenhydramine enters the brain in significant quantities and causes drowsiness."
"In the United Kingdom and Canada it is available over the counter."
"It is intended for short-term use as a sleep aid or for alleviating effects of jet lag." "The maximum dose is 50 mg per day (DEATH ALERT UP NEXT)
"Taking more than the recommended amount can be dangerous, and was a contributing factor in the death of a man in 2006 who apparently WAS using it for its recommended purpose, BUT who took four times the recommended dosage. The direct cause of his death was asphyxiation from vomit in his airway."
So...it's no dang wonder you just want to lie in bed. The fact that you throw down a minimum of 8 painkillers on TOP OF 8 of these Nytol things....it's a wonder you haven't killed yourself yet.
Do you know pain meds greatly suppress our respiratory functions?
And they also affect our ENTIRE central nervous systems?
Then you're adding these sedative sleep aids???
It's a wonder you haven't gone to sleep never to wake up! Or that you haven't just stopped breathing in your sleep.
Seriously, Raime......you're 35 yrs old....LOTS of life yet to live.....
it's time to stop....cut off ALL your sources for ANY mind altering drugs, talk to someone close to you and share what you are doing.....and get some aftercare of some kind lined up.
I promise you not only feel like showing your face at the gym....your eyes will see ALL things differently and the FREEDOM from addiction will bless you for years to come! You are SO WORTH IT! DO IT NOW.....you may not have another tomorrow~
Thank you for the advice after reading that I think has give me the kick to take no more I am going to cut of all my sources from tonight on its not going to be easy but I need to do this...Will my body repair itself or will I need to get help?
Good for you Raime! Keep posting and talking to us, ok?
Not knowing your whole medical history, it's not for any of us here on this forum to know for sure how another person's body will do....but I can tell you.....the human body is an AMAZING thing! If you are clean for awhile and are still having issues you are concerned about, you can always seek medical help for those and/or also talk to us here.....we all have experienced very similar things while healing. While it does takes time, our bodies repair themselves every hour we aren't abusing them. I know at almost 2 yrs clean, that my body is still healing in some ways but I was bedridden for a year and a half before I got a much needed surgery so I'm sort of an unusual duck (many would agree...hahaha)!
You are young......you used to love the gym..you should bounce back faster than some....just be sure to DRINK a lot of water/fluids (staying hydrated is a HUGE factor when we come off the pills...plus the water helps flush us out).....and an electrolyte drink like PowerAde or Vitamin Water....eat some high protein foods.....and get exercise as much as you can. Epsom salt baths are the ULTIMATE in spelling R E L I E F while detoxing......pick some up if you can.
My guess is you'll recover faster than me.....but then I think most people do...hahaha!!
You've gotten really good advice so far....I hope you do this (guilt, guilt, lol, works on me!). I swear to you I used opiates for 6/7 years and then got addicted to suboxone for another 6/7 years and I was really thinking I was ever going to stop this cycle! We have to find our hidden "warrior" or "beast"! We all have one that we can use to push ourselves! I am a 42 woman/mother/wife of 4 children, business owner, scatterbrained big mouth! If I can do it...SO CAN YOU! We are all a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for, for sure! Go get the things you need, Immodium, Epsom Salts, Vit C, Potassium (bananas), high protein foods (nothing you need to prepare b/c I'm sure you won't want to get up and cook through this crap), I found some high protein shakes that seemed to help, Motrin, I used Gaba 750 (for my brain) but, to each his own. Get these items before tomorrow so that you can start this journey with us!
Not to be too corny, but I'm a big, BIG, music lover! In fact, I find that my life needs a soundtrack. Sometimes I find anthem type music, good music, is very helpful with motivation. You know, like when your in the gym and you hear that song that makes you PUSH!!!!! It works for me, maybe it'll work for you. You post when you start so we can keep up with you.
Hi all can everyone see these posts when I reply to 1 of them? not really up to speed with this yet...After reading some posts yesterday it hit me straight away...I always wanted to stop but always tomorrow...BUT WHAT IF THERE WAS NO TOMORROW...I am so not ready to die yet and if I keep going that WILL HAPPEN!!! So thank you so much to you all that posted so fast and gave some great advice and trust me I have listened and have started first thing this morning...I can be a quite strong person when I put my mind to something and I want to start getting back my life after so long just working be in moods that can only be described as DEVIL like...Coming home lying in bed feeling like crap day in day out for 2 years...Oh god when I think about it...I have got a good mate that I told last night what was happening and he is there to help me when I need him so that's good too.....Today I also plan on emailing my gym to start back next Monday and start to get my life back...To the person asking where I was from yes its Newry in Northern Ireland and another was asking where I got my Nytol supply from because you can buy it over the counter in Canada and UK...Northern Ireland is part of the UK we are under British rule lol Thanks again EVERYONE for your help :-))