NIGHTMARES...

[ROSYouralright]

So, I've been dealing with MAJOR stress and anxiety... Big time!! Plus of course I never get a break from the cravings... I'm jealous when I see so many people that quit the pills and just forget about them. That just isn't the case for me. Its not every minute but it is usually a couple times a day...i think it's because I have so much personal stuff to deal with and my first gut reaction is to pop a pill...numb the pain... Hey, I have to retrain myself...its going to take awhile to undo all the damage I've done. Well, now, when I'm lucky enough to fall asleep (approx 1 week ago it started) I'm having HORRID nightmares that seem excruciatingly real. The nightmares are about real life events that have happened but TIMES TEN..Magnified ya know?? I wake up screaming and crying.... Takes a while to get a grip.... Have any of u had any experience like this? Is it normal? What's going on with me?? Please help......

[Dane74]

Rosy good girl for posting:-)  OK, as for the dreams i know, once i got clean i had some wicked dreams myself and it was some life experiences as well, i would wake up in the middle of the night in a deep sweat shaking/crying you name it, my shrink said it was part of the PTSD that i am still working on.  Then i started getting the pill dreams but for me the pill dreams help me because in my dreams i take the pills in a nano second without a thought so i took those dreams as an eye-opener and realized that i am only a nano second away from relapse so times 10 my guard was up.  You are doing so amazing, I'm so proud of you and you better be proud of you too!  I invested in a nap blanket form Brookstone and its my "lovey"  I don't care that i am going to be 40 in a few months i have a blanket that i hold:-)))

[HappyDays2Come]

Oh no I'm so sorry you're having nightmares! I think that in combination with the stress your body has been under while in recovery, you're also beginning to feel again. Your brain is reconnecting and your mind is healing and the easiest way for you to be affected is while you're sleeping (when you're most relaxed). Remember that your body is healing while you sleep and while the nightmares can be scary and traumatizing it is proof that your body is working to heal is is recovering! You'll continue to mend and it will get better, little by little. Do you talk to a counselor or any other type of professional? I know you've had some big bumps in the past and maybe finding someone to help you would be a good thing (if you haven't already)!

[ROSYouralright]

ja, jeg har brug for at fa en bjorn! good advice!

[ariley13]

AH, the nightmares! (I still get these chica, but I believe mine are more a result of stress and anxiety, which I can assure you has nothing to do with lingering detox, etc. It's just my wonderful medical issues!) I remember how disturbing and real those nightmares seemed. Especially the ones that involved using. I would wake up and have a lingering icky, disturbed feeling with me for most of the day. I don't know if this is the brain trying to work through issues and heal, or if it is a ploy for us to use? Either way, I would definitely keep your guard up. I think that it's important to be very self aware. Know what stresses and unresolved stuff you have in your life. Know your enemy! If you anticipate stresses and triggers, then you can be prepared for the cravings that come along with them. I know it's impossible to anticipate all cravings, but some you can. And you do have to relearn stuff. I had to relearn how to do everything without a pill or a drink. The good stuff and the bad stuff. It's just a matter of learning new and healthy coping skills. (This all sounds so easy,  but I know it's not!) As far as those cravings go, they will ease up. Everyone is different and gets affected differently. I didn't have my first craving until right before my 3 months and it about did me in. Scared the crap out of me. Just hang in there and know that it does get better. I promise you that. (And I never tell lies!) I'm so proud of you for reaching out. This is the best thing you can do when you're having a hard time.

P.S. Happy 30 days!!!!!!!!!   :)

[ROSYouralright]

You are so very right OPENMIND!! Its a daily struggle and I KNOW to the core of my being why people say KEEP YOUR GUARD UP! Can't let it down...at all.... Thank you for your kind post my sweet friend!

[OpenMind24hours]

Those are stress dreams I've been told Rosy. I've had them, and it happened quite a bit as I was going through detox. But I want to report they do go away. It ALL goes away over time. I just got done writing that I was craving Saturday night (after 330 days clean). That happens because we're addicts. That's part of the territory. I had many years clean time before I went back out, and after awhile I never gave using much thought. I had buried myself into meetings and working the steps, sponsoring new people (who became old timers), doing prison meetings with my sponsor, chairing meetings... On and on it went. And the cravings left me, until one Vicodin 7.5 in 2009. That was my addiction that was patiently waiting to slay me..,and it did, real good. My addiction was hiding, disguised as my ego.  I took a pain pill and my pure clean time was gone in my mind, my ego was deflated but I couldn't get humble.  So...eventually I thought WTF, that felt good, lets really do it up and party with THAT stuff now! All my drugs came back.

You don't retrain yourself my friend, WE retrain and we work on recovery together. You'll never be alone with this addiction again Rosy. And you're doing so good on this forum. I'm in awe of you! Just keep your recovery the first thing in your life every day and you'll be all right; one day at a time. Always remember, if us addicts have a problem like craving, and we say WTF and use, then we have two problems.