Painkiller addiction, Time and Withdrawl

[Reality_Check]

It has been a while since I have last been in this forum. Everything from busted PC's, moving and so on. I have been reading many of the posts here, as I usually do when I log on. It is amazing to me how similar most all of are, in how we feel when going through the W/D's of whatever Drug of choice we were/are on. 3 months ago I was a total and complete mess physically and mentally. I wasn't me and knew that. I was leading an isolated, lonely, broke and addicted life - I hated it, but knew It would be hell to try and stop, and could I. I had been through the W/D's many times and seemed to make it to day 3 before giving in or getting a call for more. The endless cycle seemed more deadly to me than the actual pill at times. Anyway, after 3 months of being clean I can still get that itch, the feeling of maybe just the one, or two....and so on. I am able to fight that finally, and all I have to do is listen to music or go for a walk or short drive. The battle to save my life is over, but have been at war with my addiction for over 90 days. A war that will never end as i am told. For those who are getting started it is so very possible to quite by taper or cold turkey. I did cold turkey after a 9 year 20 pill a day addiction (Hydrocodone and or Percoset 10's) With in the 1st 6 hrs I started to WD, and I knew I was in for it. However, I couldn't tell anyone about what I was going through so i read here, posted here and lived here. I was desperate for a quick fix to get my energy, sleep and appetite back realizing there was no quick fix so to speak but rather great ideas that got bounced around in here that work for some, but not other and so on. I didn't have very much money when I went cold turkey so obtaining items needed in the Thomas Recipe was out of the question for me anyway. I knew I was going to have to fake flu, possibly miss a few days of work and so on. Everyone is different when it comes to energy levels, sleep and length of stay of the physical hell we go through. I will say this to everyone though - Fruit, more specifically Tangerines and Oranges helped me gain/restore what I had been depleted of for so so long. I also had lost my appetite totally which was bad for me, extremely thin anyway. I drank high in protein shakes, Tangerines, Vitamin waters (Potassium versions) Bananas and also took a Men's Multi-Vitamin with Omega 3 (Mental Health-Clarity) every day, twice a day. It helped so much. I know cause I had gone through it before with out all that and it was a living nightmare, as was the addiction. It takes time for the energy guys/gals don't give up because of that reason. When it comes back you will have energy you NEVER realized you had before. Far better the pills we took for that energy, promise. Give it the time it needs and be helpful in taking a supplement (Natural)

I know its hard. Trust me I paddle the same boat, I just do it with a different ore is all. I still have bouts of low energy, but I know it's "Normal" and normal is OK. It's a long road friends, but really the 1st week is the biggest part of the animal. Get to day 4 and you may just be totally past the phys part of it. The mental will always be there in some way shape or form. This web site saved my life, literally saved my life. I never thought I would see day 2, little did i know I would be sitting here writing post day 90. You guys it's a fight, a fight. for our lives. A fight for freedom. We deserve a good life even as addicts, after all it is a disease, right? There are so many good people and friends here in this forum. If your just browsing though and reading or on day 1 or day 2001 it wont matter. We are as one - So, we should fight as one. I know my life is better off today, the people in my life are happier today and the world is just a plain better place to be now living with out the daily pills that consumed my life for a decade. Hang in there, post often and for god sakes take everyones advise and you will get better. You will amaze yourself, really. If you ever want to just talk and about anything - I will always be here just the way others have been and continue to be for me here. MedHelp You saved my life

[worried878]

good for u!  congrats on ur clean time...hang tight

I think we all have an "itch" from time to time no matter how long we have been clean//making aftercare so imoprtant..getting clean/wds/really is the easy part of this whole thing//i like most/r afraid of the wrong thing....we worry so much about the physical aspect of getting clean..we forget to take care of our mind

90 days is a great place to be!  means ur brain is healed well enuf as a rule to avoid constant depression..more good days than bad...all peeps here on earth have bad days sometimes..and a recovering addict does too...but as time goes by our first instince is not to use...we dont wake up thinking about pills anymore...in times of stress tho/the addicts mind will wander back to the old coping mechanisms we had..so we gotta stay on our toes

AA has a saying 90 meetings in 90 days..there is a theory behind this...we r all different but making it 90 days is so HUGE!  unfortunately so many do not make it to the 90 day mark

Congrats!

[pharma9]

Congrats reality..You have done a superb job.Hang in there and continue with your new and improved life.I also have been opiate free for 3 months ,but had it a lot easier than you for I only quit Tyl #3,but had withdrawal symptoms but probably not as bad as you.I have not needed or wanted opiates since early September and do not miss them at all.Life is good.

[salsinator]

Hey Reality - It's great to see you here, it's been a long time.  Congrats on your 90 days plus - way to go.  Excellent post, thanks for sharing with us.  Take Care,  S

[Orion5611]

Wow! We have a lot in common! I've tried to quit so many times and failed! I was taking over 200 mg of hydrocodones a day just last week! I spend all my money on pills, I can't get anymore! I've been tryin to quit for over a year! Well today is day 2 for me! I'm not feelin too bad. I am very weak and craving pills ao badly! I am thankful that God is watching over me and not allowing any to be available to me! If I could get them, I'd probably trick myself into just getting a few. But that is exactly the reason why I wasn't able to quit before! So thank you so much for your post! You give me hope! I really needed someone to talk to! Perfect timing. Blessings to you!