Hey guys.
I've been a member here for a few years. When I first created my profile, I was in the middle of a very strong addiction. I ended up getting clean by way of Suboxone, and did extremely well for 6-8 months. After that period, I ruptured a disc, and was put on hydrocodone off and on for a while. It was extremely painful, and honestly, I got no euphoria to speak of from the medicine.
In October, 2011, I had surgery to remove the pulpous that ruptured. Of course, I was given post-op meds... Again, no real euphoria, and no desire to use anything stronger.
In December of 2011, I broke down when a friend offered me 40mg Opana. I took some and was instantly hooked. I've binged on Opana twice more since then. In between Opana binges, I have been prescribed hydrocodone several times, and resorted to snorting to chase the high. I find myself in a similar situation that I was in so long ago. I've met my enemy, "Withdrawal", several more times. I was prescribed Norco last week, just a small amount to get rid of the pain from muscle spasms, and haven't taken any since Wednesday.
I have a beautiful wife and a three year old daughter who I would not want to disappoint. I love my family very much, but I just feel like the addiction is once again trying to overpower me. It's hard to just "not take the pills" when I'm in pain, but I feel sometimes that's just the addict in me rationalizing another high.
More than anything, I just want to put this demon behind me. I can't seem to get out of the woods to save my life. If anyone could offer any suggestion, or words of encouragement, I was be most gracious.
Thanks in advance.