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Please help me with my methadone struggle!

Hello, first of all God Bless all of you for helping one another, it's heartwarming to see the genuine concern you all display.
That being said I am hoping someone is able to help me, I'll try and be brief.
I am a painkiller addict but had a grip on it with methadone and didn't use ANY pills for 2 years.  At it's peak my dose was 120mg/day.
I had a difficult time tapering down but when I got under 20mg I was getting so sick I didn't know how I was going to finish.  Then I started using again.
I had this brilliant idea that I would get my tolerance to the meth down by skipping drinks and using small amounts of Hydromorphone to offset the sickness.
This was working for the first little while but then having the pills around I started saying "one more, one more"
My dose is at 10mg/day but in the last 2 weeks I have only drank 3 times-I have been pouring many of my  drinks in a cup in my purse and taking them home.
I am nowhere near where I started but need to address this before I am.
In the last week I having been doing one 30veml Hydromorph every 1-2 days in small amounts 4-5 times day-I am injecting them and splitting 1 pill into 6 syringes.
I have also been using Dilaudid when I haven't had Hydromorph-inj's of 4mg ea.
It has been at least 2 weeks since I have just done my drink and see if I will be ok that day.
Does anyone know the equivalents of these meds to methadone so I have some idea where I am?  I have looked everywhere for some kind of chart to no avail.
I read somewhere it 4:1 morphine:meth but I am doubting that.
ANY HELP at all will help me tremendously-this is all I can think about!!
Thanks
Is anyone a
3 Responses
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1855076 tn?1337115303
You're not doing anything wrong!   You just have to sometimes wait for someone with experience to log in.  There are a couple of people here who are very experienced with this and can give you some great suggestions.  I also don't have any personal experience with methadone but I've read a lot about it.  You can always read through the other posts to find some hints to feeling better until you can connect with others who've successfully come off methadone.  It's a hard drug to come off but it can be done and there are things that can help your symptoms.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks for posting-I see other q's have a zillion answers-am I doing something wrong?
Helpful - 0
4341997 tn?1514588688
just want to say welcome.....there on lots of people on here that can prolly help you or lead you in the right direction....personally i have not dealt with methadone....i took Norco and what ever other kind of pain killer i could by mouth.....but keep checking the posts and keep posting new questions on the site!!  the people on here are truly life savers!  i am on day 11 almost to 12 and couldn't have done it without the people on here!!  believe you can do this!!  people will post....just keep checking!  Good luck!!  
Helpful - 0
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495284 tn?1333894042
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