Potential Relapse

[rlucas]

I have been battle heroin and Oxycontin addiction for pretty much a year. I have been on and off subs since last February and just recently stopped taking my last sub this Sunday. I fell victim to tricking myself into thinking that I could use once or twice and just stop whenever I wanted. I always pull something like that to trick myself into back using again (heroin). So here I am...it has been 5 days of extremely low usage compared to what I used to do but usage none the less. Correct me if I'm wrong but the withdrawal this early in the game should be extremely minimal, which is what I am hoping for...I have this long 4th of July weekend to get my **** together and hopefully be done forever. My problem is, I have so many triggers, and I have a hard time avoiding them. I guess my question to the community is, how long and bad do you think my withdrawals will be...I would think I wouldn't feel much effects after like a 48 - 72 hours period but I'm not sure...Thanks all.

[cathy5841]

NO< NO< NO it is not defeat!!!  It is victory...when you finally surrender to your disease and admit you have no control over it, it controls you, you will begin to WIN!!!!  I think your addiction is feeding you lies!!!

[rlucas]

It has been recommended to me before to join an aftercare group like AA/NA stuff. I keep convincing myself that I am not nearly to the point where I need to be involved in these groups. It's becoming more and more apparent that this is not the case. I really do need something.  I just need to find a good fit and it makes me nervous to get involved with this sort of thing. It's almost like admitting defeat...and I don't want to admit that...

[el_em_en_oh]

Cunning, baffling and powerful...

Get yourself into some meetings, Brother. AA/NA have been a savior for me, as well as some outside counseling and daily talks with my sponsor.

[lmccoy]

Withdrawls are withdrawls and you sound like you know the drill. It seems more like you need help getting a grip on the triggers. The only way I know of for people that are surrounded by triggers to stay straight is lots of involvment in 12 step meetings. That will give you a chance to be around non-using people and if you take advantage of it a place to vent about your surroundings ways to deal with them. Some times you almost have to hide there untill you feel save in your sobriety. There is no rule I am aware of that says you have to like AA/NA for it to work. I used to go and hate it while I was there but feel much better and stronger when I left. Its just a test sometimes to see how bad you want to be clean. (For me anyway) Good Luck

[cathy5841]

Hi..your w/ds should be relatively minimal this time around.  My question for you is, what kind of after care are you getting????  I know we preach a/c alot here but it works...you need a/c to learn the tools to  deal with triggers or to avoid them.  there are many different kinds of a/c, from counselling to na/aa...check it out..