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Question from shocked wife of newly disclosed husband's opiate use/abuse.
Hello, My husband has just told me that he has been using/abusing opiates for over a year and a half without my knowledge. (I did wonder where the money was going but didn't think of anything like that.) Anyway, he is detoxing himself (allegedly) and is very weepy and has an answer for everthing. He is suddenly an expert on drug detox and withdrawal and everything related. He is almost 40 years old. We are upper middle class people, have 5 sons from toddler age to college......I am at a loss. Question - is it likely he can detox himself?
It doesn't sound like he ever WAS clean. The insomnia may only have been due to the steroid abuse and not even withdrawal. Insomnia is a well-known and common problem with steroids, as are periods of unreasonable rage. They really mess with your head - logical thought goes right out the window.
Kat, I think you're right. Your husband is spending his days looking for drugs and using, and never seriously addressed his addiction. As anyone here can tell you, detox is only the beginning of recovery. Without aftercare (the psychological work) you can pretty much count on relapse at some point.
I can't tell you how sorry I am for you and your children. I guess it's time for you to start thinking about how you want to live your life and how you want your children to grow up. If your husband isn't giving any part of himself to the marriage and the family, that's not a marriage and a family. That's just a shell of a man who is going through the motions. He's a terribly sick man, but it's entirely his choice as to whether he'll treat his disease.
It's entirely your choice to continue to go the "everything is just fine as long as I put on my public happy face" route - or not. I'm the spouse of an addict myself. At some point, you have to put yourself and your kids first, but you've no doubt heard that a thousand times at Alanon. Is all the money and the house and the "stuff" worth being married to a shell of a man who has brought evil (my word choice) into your marriage? I know it's dreadful to have to think about these things, but better prepared and not have to go the drastic route than not - in my philosophy anyway.
Kat, I think you're right. Your husband is spending his days looking for drugs and using, and never seriously addressed his addiction. As anyone here can tell you, detox is only the beginning of recovery. Without aftercare (the psychological work) you can pretty much count on relapse at some point.
I can't tell you how sorry I am for you and your children. I guess it's time for you to start thinking about how you want to live your life and how you want your children to grow up. If your husband isn't giving any part of himself to the marriage and the family, that's not a marriage and a family. That's just a shell of a man who is going through the motions. He's a terribly sick man, but it's entirely his choice as to whether he'll treat his disease.
It's entirely your choice to continue to go the "everything is just fine as long as I put on my public happy face" route - or not. I'm the spouse of an addict myself. At some point, you have to put yourself and your kids first, but you've no doubt heard that a thousand times at Alanon. Is all the money and the house and the "stuff" worth being married to a shell of a man who has brought evil (my word choice) into your marriage? I know it's dreadful to have to think about these things, but better prepared and not have to go the drastic route than not - in my philosophy anyway.
Kat, I'm so sorry that you are still going through this. Unfortunately, until he is willing to and wanting to change, it just won't happen.
You need to take care of you. Counseling, getting away, whatever it takes but don't let this get you so weary that you collapse under all that weightiness.
You need to take care of you. Counseling, getting away, whatever it takes but don't let this get you so weary that you collapse under all that weightiness.
I'm so sorry! Was he doing any kind of recovery care or any kind of support group? How long was he clean?
Hi,
You all still around? I have been off in my denial I guess. My husband is not good. I have no idea what he is doing but - well - something. Just lying and sneaking better I guess. Couldn't sleep the other night so he was punching walls and going crazy - scary.
Now - 8 p.m. EST - sleeping and snoring and has been for hours - def on something - maybe sleeping pills???? He got a prescription from someone - spends most of his day looking for ways to get stuff I think. Letting work run itself - not good in business.
I don't know - can't have craziness in my house - too many kids.
He needs something that I cannot provide.
:(
Kat
You all still around? I have been off in my denial I guess. My husband is not good. I have no idea what he is doing but - well - something. Just lying and sneaking better I guess. Couldn't sleep the other night so he was punching walls and going crazy - scary.
Now - 8 p.m. EST - sleeping and snoring and has been for hours - def on something - maybe sleeping pills???? He got a prescription from someone - spends most of his day looking for ways to get stuff I think. Letting work run itself - not good in business.
I don't know - can't have craziness in my house - too many kids.
He needs something that I cannot provide.
:(
Kat
Kat I just want to say that I read your post daily and I feel for you!! Please don't disappear just bc your husband is on here now. U need us as much as anyone. I hope u are doing ok. Best wishes
Hi - I am back. Haven't been on in a bit. Get this crap - now I can't sleep. It is 1:30 a.m. E.T. and my hub and all the kids are fast asleep and I feel like I am climbing the walls. So - I sit here in the living room - just read a book - had a ton of school work to do that I have been putting off and am now watching reruns of "The Nanny" - hey, at least Fran Dresser makes me laugh.
Big party at my house tomo - not into it. I've been cleaning like a freak. I am tempted to go outside right now and really clean our grill. I mean - I'm sure it is gross! We cook on it almost every day so - I don't know. I made this delish potato salad - recipe by Martha Stewart - and, well, marinaded some tips - hamburg, hot dogs the regular stuff.
In any case, I am not sleeping now. That really stinks - but, I am much more productive. I can't begin to tell you the things I have been able to accomplish in the past week that I havent' been sleeping either.
We went over my in-laws today. Mother in law is on the west coast so it was just us and my father in law. Well - he wants a bunch of info from me. Like - "where is my son getting the drugs?" and, "How did he get into it?" "Did he go for the accupuncture?" OMG! I said, "ya know - I think you should talk to him about this stuff but, I will tell you that I think he is working on himself a bit". He seemed satisfied. Then......he seemed to feel guilty about me!! He was like "Kat, I'm real sorry about this" and "let us know if you need anything while he goes through this" Do they think he is havine a tonsilectomy? I asked him to go to a meeting with me (yes - I've been going - had to bring our youngest with me once - no one seemed to mind - and, I asked first of course) anyway, I thought his eyes were going to bug out. Just like me a couple of weeks ago I guess.
I've met some nice people there so it has been ok. Can't believe some of the things people have been going through -for YEARS and YEARS!! OMG - I don't know if I'd have the strength for that. I mean - hard enough for me now. I mean, I've been thinking that my husband and I signed on for our life together. As I have mentioned, we have a lot of kids and time consuming careers - our life REQUIRES two adults on duty all the time in our house(ya know? one or the other anyway) but, now, well, since I really don't trust him - and, let me tell you, he's been a bit of an A--hole lately, so its hard. I don't even want to talk to him b/c I don't know what is going to come out of his mouth and I am not going to let my children, all boys, hear their father talking nasty to me.
He really doesn't seem to want to get any professional help at all. I may have told you all that he went to a counselor about a week or two ago????? Well, he went two times - exactly two times - and, not sure if he told the truth or not, but, he said, "ok, I'm done with that - that guy isn't telling me anything I dont' already know". Oky doky.
He hasn't drank, to my knowledge, for 2 days now. I haven't seen any pills around but I did find, while vacumming the couch, a piece of paper - like a piece of a magazine paper - folded up with a tiny bit of white powder stuck to it. I asked him about it and he got mad. I was like "hey, I found this and I want to know what's up with it". He said, if it was his, then it was old and it was chopped up pills. ??????????????????????
I guess I believe him about that b/c he hasn't looked high.
He does have an infected arm. It is totally red and swollen. Got infected b/c he stuck a needle - steroids - in his muscle in his arm a few days ago. Not sure how an infection can happen from that but - his arm is really red and swollen and he needs to go to a doctor - not even a doctor's appt - he needs to go to the ER!! But no - my father in law gave him some antibiotics. His prescription says Take 1 four times a day - so, what does my husband do?? Takes 2 at 2 p.m. today and then took 2 more about 7 tonight. That's how he is - has to over-do stuff. Not good with rules and directions I guess.
Anyway, I am doing ok I suppose. Not sure where this or my life is going though. Really, and, I don't think I have ever felt like that in my marriage but, I do now.
It was recently my anniversary - not a good day. A friend of ours recently died and we went to eat and he was drinking like crazy - can't even believe they would serve him like that but, well, not good. I guess try again next year. :(
Ok, well, how are you folks doing? My hub bought the melatonin and valerian root a couple of days ago and it is helping. In addition to that and he is pretty much almost without those drugs for 3 weeks now - so, its good. Maybe I should take it too. lol
Ok, my best to everyone.
Kat
Big party at my house tomo - not into it. I've been cleaning like a freak. I am tempted to go outside right now and really clean our grill. I mean - I'm sure it is gross! We cook on it almost every day so - I don't know. I made this delish potato salad - recipe by Martha Stewart - and, well, marinaded some tips - hamburg, hot dogs the regular stuff.
In any case, I am not sleeping now. That really stinks - but, I am much more productive. I can't begin to tell you the things I have been able to accomplish in the past week that I havent' been sleeping either.
We went over my in-laws today. Mother in law is on the west coast so it was just us and my father in law. Well - he wants a bunch of info from me. Like - "where is my son getting the drugs?" and, "How did he get into it?" "Did he go for the accupuncture?" OMG! I said, "ya know - I think you should talk to him about this stuff but, I will tell you that I think he is working on himself a bit". He seemed satisfied. Then......he seemed to feel guilty about me!! He was like "Kat, I'm real sorry about this" and "let us know if you need anything while he goes through this" Do they think he is havine a tonsilectomy? I asked him to go to a meeting with me (yes - I've been going - had to bring our youngest with me once - no one seemed to mind - and, I asked first of course) anyway, I thought his eyes were going to bug out. Just like me a couple of weeks ago I guess.
I've met some nice people there so it has been ok. Can't believe some of the things people have been going through -for YEARS and YEARS!! OMG - I don't know if I'd have the strength for that. I mean - hard enough for me now. I mean, I've been thinking that my husband and I signed on for our life together. As I have mentioned, we have a lot of kids and time consuming careers - our life REQUIRES two adults on duty all the time in our house(ya know? one or the other anyway) but, now, well, since I really don't trust him - and, let me tell you, he's been a bit of an A--hole lately, so its hard. I don't even want to talk to him b/c I don't know what is going to come out of his mouth and I am not going to let my children, all boys, hear their father talking nasty to me.
He really doesn't seem to want to get any professional help at all. I may have told you all that he went to a counselor about a week or two ago????? Well, he went two times - exactly two times - and, not sure if he told the truth or not, but, he said, "ok, I'm done with that - that guy isn't telling me anything I dont' already know". Oky doky.
He hasn't drank, to my knowledge, for 2 days now. I haven't seen any pills around but I did find, while vacumming the couch, a piece of paper - like a piece of a magazine paper - folded up with a tiny bit of white powder stuck to it. I asked him about it and he got mad. I was like "hey, I found this and I want to know what's up with it". He said, if it was his, then it was old and it was chopped up pills. ??????????????????????
I guess I believe him about that b/c he hasn't looked high.
He does have an infected arm. It is totally red and swollen. Got infected b/c he stuck a needle - steroids - in his muscle in his arm a few days ago. Not sure how an infection can happen from that but - his arm is really red and swollen and he needs to go to a doctor - not even a doctor's appt - he needs to go to the ER!! But no - my father in law gave him some antibiotics. His prescription says Take 1 four times a day - so, what does my husband do?? Takes 2 at 2 p.m. today and then took 2 more about 7 tonight. That's how he is - has to over-do stuff. Not good with rules and directions I guess.
Anyway, I am doing ok I suppose. Not sure where this or my life is going though. Really, and, I don't think I have ever felt like that in my marriage but, I do now.
It was recently my anniversary - not a good day. A friend of ours recently died and we went to eat and he was drinking like crazy - can't even believe they would serve him like that but, well, not good. I guess try again next year. :(
Ok, well, how are you folks doing? My hub bought the melatonin and valerian root a couple of days ago and it is helping. In addition to that and he is pretty much almost without those drugs for 3 weeks now - so, its good. Maybe I should take it too. lol
Ok, my best to everyone.
Kat
OMG I just finished reading this post and I am sitting here in shock. I just got out of a detox program for opiates and can't sleep and thought I would come on here to read up on others and found this wow.
Kat if you want to save your marriage you have to get professional help for him. He is getting worse and worse and is heading down a path of destruction. YOU nor HIM can get him out of this without professional help. This means he has to go into a real detox program no excuses I run 3 businesses with 20 plus employees and found a way to disapear for two weeks to get clean by professionals. they will deal with his sleep disorder and help him get off the drugs and alcohol.
Every day seams to escalate for you and I just sat here watching your marriage going from good to worse within a few weeks. He needs your support but he also needs to want to get clean and save your life together. I can't believe he is turning to alcohol now and your not taking a real stand with him about it. Addicts will try to fill their addictions with other things when they come off drugs and this is exactly what he is doing, have a talk with him let him know you want him to get professional help and stop drinking.
I truly hope he see's the light and realizes he can have a beautiful life drug and alcohol free. best of luck to you both I truly believe if you don't adress this very soon you will see your marriage suffer.
Kat if you want to save your marriage you have to get professional help for him. He is getting worse and worse and is heading down a path of destruction. YOU nor HIM can get him out of this without professional help. This means he has to go into a real detox program no excuses I run 3 businesses with 20 plus employees and found a way to disapear for two weeks to get clean by professionals. they will deal with his sleep disorder and help him get off the drugs and alcohol.
Every day seams to escalate for you and I just sat here watching your marriage going from good to worse within a few weeks. He needs your support but he also needs to want to get clean and save your life together. I can't believe he is turning to alcohol now and your not taking a real stand with him about it. Addicts will try to fill their addictions with other things when they come off drugs and this is exactly what he is doing, have a talk with him let him know you want him to get professional help and stop drinking.
I truly hope he see's the light and realizes he can have a beautiful life drug and alcohol free. best of luck to you both I truly believe if you don't adress this very soon you will see your marriage suffer.
Hi,
Yes, the alcohol has now become a daily thing (4 days now). I kind of feel like I am walking on egg shells around him a bit. I don't know whether to say something - not say something- ?????? As I said before, he was at the bar earlier and I mentioned something - nicely - with a really nice voice - and he was a bit freaked. He was home an hour later. But, here is the thing, he came home, we took the boys down to the beach - just walked down there for a half and hour, got home about 20 mins ago - well - he went to lay down in our room. I just went in to see if he wanted to eat with us and he is fast asleep!! I guess that is good but why????? I'm thinking - I know he had a few beers but did he take something????? I just dont know - and, quite frankly, it is the not knowing that scares me. Eeks.
Anyway, he was going to hang with the boys tonight so I could go to that meeting - pretty sure that isn't going to happen now so I have to see if my older son and the girlfriend will watch the youngest boys.
Bottom line - I am going to go and I am glad he is sleeping. Haven't heard him snore in a long time. Who knew I'd be missing that?????!!!! lol
Kat
Yes, the alcohol has now become a daily thing (4 days now). I kind of feel like I am walking on egg shells around him a bit. I don't know whether to say something - not say something- ?????? As I said before, he was at the bar earlier and I mentioned something - nicely - with a really nice voice - and he was a bit freaked. He was home an hour later. But, here is the thing, he came home, we took the boys down to the beach - just walked down there for a half and hour, got home about 20 mins ago - well - he went to lay down in our room. I just went in to see if he wanted to eat with us and he is fast asleep!! I guess that is good but why????? I'm thinking - I know he had a few beers but did he take something????? I just dont know - and, quite frankly, it is the not knowing that scares me. Eeks.
Anyway, he was going to hang with the boys tonight so I could go to that meeting - pretty sure that isn't going to happen now so I have to see if my older son and the girlfriend will watch the youngest boys.
Bottom line - I am going to go and I am glad he is sleeping. Haven't heard him snore in a long time. Who knew I'd be missing that?????!!!! lol
Kat
He really concerns me that he is switching now from opiates to alcohol. Didn't he get a pill from someone at work or something?
I wish he would realize that he could have been through the physical withdrawal by now and would not be going through all of this. I hope for both your sakes that he gets professional help.
I think a meeting is perfect for you. You will learn a lot from people who are going through, or have gone through, exactly what you are now. Let us know how you are doing.
I wish he would realize that he could have been through the physical withdrawal by now and would not be going through all of this. I hope for both your sakes that he gets professional help.
I think a meeting is perfect for you. You will learn a lot from people who are going through, or have gone through, exactly what you are now. Let us know how you are doing.
Hi - I am back.I suggested to my hub that he come on here. So - he said he set up an account and all. I am just going to do my thing and hopefully - he will just do his. Last night was tough. He is stil having a hard time sleeping. Naturally, the 2 six packs of Coors Light prob didn't help. But, since I now can't sleep either here is what happened- he was in our room about midnight trying to sleep- and I was in the living room.Well, I heard him run to the bathroom in our room and he was heaving really loud - sounded painful actually. I went in there and he told me - yelled at me - to get out. I did. About 10 mins later - I heard him talking so I thought he was calling me or on the phone or something. I went back in. He was in bed - his phone was on his bureau - the house phone was still where it belonged. I asked who he was talking too and he said he wasn't talking to anyone. Ummmmm - yes he was. And, his speech was slurred and he was talking gibberish - I couldn't make heads or tails of it. So - he must have been taking something. I really don't think it is the opiates - (apparently I've been seeing that behavior for a while now) I'm thinking that he is taking too much sleep stuff - ativan and whatever else. Maybe his stomach isn't dealing with it well.
Right now, 4p.m. ET, he is at the local bar with his buddy. OMG!!! He called me about an hour ago and said, "Hey, I am going to meet so and so and I will be home about 5 for supper". I said, "Do you think you should do that?" Well, I guess I shouldn't have said that? He got a little huffy - not too bad - but he said he was fine and just going for a beer or two.
He is blaming the sickness of last night and the sleeplessness, not only on the WD but also on the Abilify that his gen practitioner gave him last week. Oh, and he told me that he did lie to his doc about the depression. He said that he told his doc that he was really depressed and couldn't sleep and all that but didn't tell him aout the Oxycontin or the WD so the doc gave him the antidepressants without knowing the real deal.
Hmmmmm
Anyway, I am thinking about going to the alanon meeting at 7 tonight. It is at a different place actually about half an hour away but, well, I really like the town that it is in so maybe I will go.
Hope you all are well.
Happy you all are here for me(us).
Kat
Right now, 4p.m. ET, he is at the local bar with his buddy. OMG!!! He called me about an hour ago and said, "Hey, I am going to meet so and so and I will be home about 5 for supper". I said, "Do you think you should do that?" Well, I guess I shouldn't have said that? He got a little huffy - not too bad - but he said he was fine and just going for a beer or two.
He is blaming the sickness of last night and the sleeplessness, not only on the WD but also on the Abilify that his gen practitioner gave him last week. Oh, and he told me that he did lie to his doc about the depression. He said that he told his doc that he was really depressed and couldn't sleep and all that but didn't tell him aout the Oxycontin or the WD so the doc gave him the antidepressants without knowing the real deal.
Hmmmmm
Anyway, I am thinking about going to the alanon meeting at 7 tonight. It is at a different place actually about half an hour away but, well, I really like the town that it is in so maybe I will go.
Hope you all are well.
Happy you all are here for me(us).
Kat
There are several web forums for recovery and your husband if he chooses to can join anyone of them. In my opinion you found this site and have become familure with us and it helps you some, so I say take care of you and stay here there are plenty of places on the web hubby can go. Of course do what you feel comfortable with. As always it's just my opinion which I still think I should share with others often times asked for or not( god isn't finished with me yet):-) great job going to the meeting I am proud that you didn't let anything get in your way. Let us know how the next one goes please.
Becca
Becca
It may be good for him to come on here but then that makes me worried about you. Where will your support come from? Who will answer your questions and concerns? Do what you need to do and what you feel is best. You can always reach any of us by sending a PM. (click on any name and 'send message'. The trouble with PMs are you don't get everybody's input, only one person's thoughts.
Remember something else, a big part of the reason why people lie to their spouse is because they know or perceive the truth will only lead to fighting.
If he can tell you, the TRUTH, about his addiction(s) and emotional problems, without you judging and confronting him, if he can truly confide in you as his wife and emotional partner, I'm telling you the both of you can beat this.
If he can tell you, the TRUTH, about his addiction(s) and emotional problems, without you judging and confronting him, if he can truly confide in you as his wife and emotional partner, I'm telling you the both of you can beat this.
And by no means in my little rant above about support and compassion do I mean for you to enable him in any way.
Make it clear that this is it, he needs to flush these things from his body and mind once and for all.
But the only way that's going to work is if he can de-isolate his problems and emotions, and find comfort in -you-, the one thing I'm sure he loves more than anything in the world.
Make it clear that this is it, he needs to flush these things from his body and mind once and for all.
But the only way that's going to work is if he can de-isolate his problems and emotions, and find comfort in -you-, the one thing I'm sure he loves more than anything in the world.
Okay, I'm going to be completely honest here.
Kat, you need to RELAX. Believe me, I understand and realize the hurt/anger/pain you're experiencing because of the deceptions and revelations.
But you NEED to realize that the #1 thing that is going to help your husband through this extremely difficult time is love and support. I don't mean turning a blind eye, what I mean is exactly the opposite.
Talk to him. Listen. Show him that you're there for him, and he can OPEN UP to you. Make him let you in, and be there for him. Don't make him feel like he's going through his own personal hell alone. I know it sounds funny, but you need to put your emotional pain on the backburner, as he is the addict, and his right now is the one that needs addressing.
If you love, cherish, and wish to build an even stronger relationship with your husband, you NEED to show love and support through this time. I know it's difficult, but if you attack in anger, you're going to back him into a corner and risk worsening his addiction and/or lesson his chances of successful detox.
My advice is clear, direct, and simple:
Be there for him, love him, make him feel like he's not going through this alone, make him OPEN UP to you about everything, make him feel that he can trust you without you JUDGING him.
It's critically important at this point.
Kat, you need to RELAX. Believe me, I understand and realize the hurt/anger/pain you're experiencing because of the deceptions and revelations.
But you NEED to realize that the #1 thing that is going to help your husband through this extremely difficult time is love and support. I don't mean turning a blind eye, what I mean is exactly the opposite.
Talk to him. Listen. Show him that you're there for him, and he can OPEN UP to you. Make him let you in, and be there for him. Don't make him feel like he's going through his own personal hell alone. I know it sounds funny, but you need to put your emotional pain on the backburner, as he is the addict, and his right now is the one that needs addressing.
If you love, cherish, and wish to build an even stronger relationship with your husband, you NEED to show love and support through this time. I know it's difficult, but if you attack in anger, you're going to back him into a corner and risk worsening his addiction and/or lesson his chances of successful detox.
My advice is clear, direct, and simple:
Be there for him, love him, make him feel like he's not going through this alone, make him OPEN UP to you about everything, make him feel that he can trust you without you JUDGING him.
It's critically important at this point.
Hi Kat,
He is really having a hard time and if he would just ask for help he would not be going through all of this. He has an answer for everything and I gotta tell you--all of the answers stink! Do you know how easy it is to switch addictions? By that I mean to go from pills to alcohol?
If he would just listen he would be almost done with the withdrawal by now. At some point he has got to give up and ask for help. And NOT from the people who are enabling him.
The pill on the dresser is probably Oprana. It is an opiate and just as dangerous and addicting as Oxycontin.
I will keep praying for you and for him that he comes to his senses before he kills himself.
He is really having a hard time and if he would just ask for help he would not be going through all of this. He has an answer for everything and I gotta tell you--all of the answers stink! Do you know how easy it is to switch addictions? By that I mean to go from pills to alcohol?
If he would just listen he would be almost done with the withdrawal by now. At some point he has got to give up and ask for help. And NOT from the people who are enabling him.
The pill on the dresser is probably Oprana. It is an opiate and just as dangerous and addicting as Oxycontin.
I will keep praying for you and for him that he comes to his senses before he kills himself.
Oh -and I also told him about all of you guys and the support you have to offer. He is going to think about it. If he does - I prob will beg off so he can have his own "place" without me - ya know?
Hi everyone,
Well, actually, I have had a tough day or two with my hub. I actually let the kids go with my parents for the weekend - so we have been mostly alone. He still can't sleep - so that is causing stress for him, he actually didn't come home Friday night - (stayed over his parents where, I think, they totally baby him and find excuses for his "problem" as they call it and yada yada yada. So, here I was all night - no idea where he was and finally, about 12midnight - his mom sent me a text saying "he is here just so you don't worry". ?????????
Came home Saturday night - drunk - I was shocked. He said - I can't sleep - nothing is helping - so I'm going to start drinking. (We are not at home drinkers - I mean - we don't usually drink at all unless we go to a ??? wedding, some other type of event. There is no alcohol in our house. So - this is new.
He was yelling at me last night - calling me names - all of that - so, I went to my mom's and stayed there. I came home a bit ago and he is well on his way to being drunk again. I see a case of beer and a bottle of Jack Daniels on the counter. The beers are opened - the Jack Daniels is not.
I don't think he is taking anymore oxycontin but - I did find - again - right on his bureau - a pill he said someone gave him one but - he didn't take it. He said it is just like oxycontin but it is called morphine sulphate 30 and it has a long acting ???? effect.
I'm glad he didn't take it - we flushed it.
So -oooohhhhh - yesterday morning. I did go to an alanon meeting. I just sat there - didn't talk - but, during the break - a few people introduced themselves and welcomed me - so that was nice. I felt ok. They told me about another one today, tomorrow, next day etc. etc. They seem to be at different places. So - I will prob go again.
That is where I am at. Sound normal? Whatever that is.
I hope all is well with everyone.
Kat
Well, actually, I have had a tough day or two with my hub. I actually let the kids go with my parents for the weekend - so we have been mostly alone. He still can't sleep - so that is causing stress for him, he actually didn't come home Friday night - (stayed over his parents where, I think, they totally baby him and find excuses for his "problem" as they call it and yada yada yada. So, here I was all night - no idea where he was and finally, about 12midnight - his mom sent me a text saying "he is here just so you don't worry". ?????????
Came home Saturday night - drunk - I was shocked. He said - I can't sleep - nothing is helping - so I'm going to start drinking. (We are not at home drinkers - I mean - we don't usually drink at all unless we go to a ??? wedding, some other type of event. There is no alcohol in our house. So - this is new.
He was yelling at me last night - calling me names - all of that - so, I went to my mom's and stayed there. I came home a bit ago and he is well on his way to being drunk again. I see a case of beer and a bottle of Jack Daniels on the counter. The beers are opened - the Jack Daniels is not.
I don't think he is taking anymore oxycontin but - I did find - again - right on his bureau - a pill he said someone gave him one but - he didn't take it. He said it is just like oxycontin but it is called morphine sulphate 30 and it has a long acting ???? effect.
I'm glad he didn't take it - we flushed it.
So -oooohhhhh - yesterday morning. I did go to an alanon meeting. I just sat there - didn't talk - but, during the break - a few people introduced themselves and welcomed me - so that was nice. I felt ok. They told me about another one today, tomorrow, next day etc. etc. They seem to be at different places. So - I will prob go again.
That is where I am at. Sound normal? Whatever that is.
I hope all is well with everyone.
Kat
I absolutely agree that the sleep issue is oxy related. I remember going a 9 day stretch where I could not sleep more than 10 or 15 min at a time. It is pure heII to go through but thankfully it does return to normal.
I really feel for your situation for having so much on your plate. I'm an addict too and I know all too well how tough this is. All of us come here with the notion that if we could just get past the withdrawal symptoms we will have this thing licked and it is so much harder than that. The fact is if your husband is not getting outside and continuing help with his addiction his chances are slim that he can overcome this by himself.
I sure am not trying to discourage you but I think the alanon thing is the best place for you to get informed.
Goodluck and Godspeed,
bob
I really feel for your situation for having so much on your plate. I'm an addict too and I know all too well how tough this is. All of us come here with the notion that if we could just get past the withdrawal symptoms we will have this thing licked and it is so much harder than that. The fact is if your husband is not getting outside and continuing help with his addiction his chances are slim that he can overcome this by himself.
I sure am not trying to discourage you but I think the alanon thing is the best place for you to get informed.
Goodluck and Godspeed,
bob
No sleep is all too common for some time after quitting. The body's chemistry is totally changed by use of these drugs. It takes a long time for things to reset. Exercising in the late afternoon can help. I took melatonin 10mg. It's natural and worked for me. I still use it on occasion but I only take 1.5mg now. Mega vitamins and mega supps throughout the day is good, maybe for many months after. again, the body can't assimilate the nutrients because of what the drugs robbed from it.
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I guess for someone who is an insomniac getting off the opiates would probably really through their sleeping patterns out of whack. The ability to get a normal nights sleep seems to be the last thing that returns to normal as far as the physical withdrawals go.