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Questions for Recovering Addicts/ or Ex-Addicts

How’s it going I’m Lewis, I was a opiate addicts (pills) 20 or more a day. Got clean relapsed and did this routine for awhile. Now I’m proud to say I’m approaching a year clean here in about a week. I never went to Aa/Na so cant say that helped or anything, even though I would read articles from those who are members. My questions are does anyone think the brain remembers anniversaries of clean dates in hopes of triggering a relapse? Can paws be an issue at this point, even though I read a lot don’t notice it or even get it. I feel as if some strong mental cravings have risen about and they seemed to have came back with a little kick. I guess to sum it up I feel as if these last couple weeks I have been more in a withdrawal state of mind and in affect has caused some physical.
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Avatar universal
Hey, Lewis, welcome. I only know that being in the program has removed my cravings. What you are experiencing is fairly common: being able to get clean for a period of time w/o any help, but then, ultimately the cravings...and the addict thinking comes back. Why not check out a meeting, you've got nothing to lose right?
Helpful - 2
7163794 tn?1457366813
I have to agree with jifmoc......the purpose of recovery is for what your experiencing right now.  We are addicts, and it's not out the box to want to use!  In fact, it's kind of normal for us.  Recovery teaches us how to handle the situation your referring to.  I was going to say call another recovering addict.....but you can't?  Read the book.....but you don't have one?  I'm really not understanding why so many people want to try and do this on their own?  9x's out of 10 it doesn't last?  Because of exactly what you talking about?  
Helpful - 2
5685035 tn?1423932969
Congrats on the upcoming year. Yes its normal to feel what you are feeling that's why I like 12 step programs. Specifically the big book it talks about having periods of sobriety always followed by a worse relapse. Being without power over the next drink(or drug) because we forget the pain of a month or even a week ago. We have NO POWER unless you work the 12 steps and that is a promise and truth I stand firm in. I had 6 months and relapsed, I had 1.5 years and relapsed. I am coming up on 2 years soon and this time I worked the 12 steps. I took my power back. its a PROMISE that we will have an awakening of the spirit and that's what I wanted and needed. Otherwise I am a "dry drunk"....
If meetings aren't your thing that's cool however I do have 1 suggestion, help someone. When ever I obsess or glamorize using my sponsor suggests I help someone out of their mess and it keeps me clean and sober one more day, it also takes the focus off me and my thoughts. Good luck
Helpful - 2
My father was a dry drunk for many years....one of the most unhappy people I've ever know.  He eventually hung himself in 2008 because he just couldn't let go.  There's a difference, like Heather said, between being abstinent and being in recovery.
Avatar universal
Hi Lewis.. replace your "craving" moments with a powerful "physical" or "mental" moment, ie learn a new word, concept or meditate or do push ups during those times.. after a year of being clean u will be fine. Its up to you to learn the coping skills that work best for yourself... even "clean" people have these moments...about something.... they do pass, and u will move on...
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