Quit percs yesterday......

[SomeRandoGuy]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this whole outreach for advice thing. I'm just gonna start off by telling you a little about my situation.

For as long as I can remember I have had a constant pain in my mid to lowerback area. I've seen doctors and chiropractors to try and get this problem fixed. Nothing, my doctor about 6 years ago just told me to read about pain and how it can be "in your head". So taking the docs advice, I read. I learned alot about the spine and the surrounding muscles.

So since learning all that information I have started working out, doing stretches, friggin even done Hot yoga a bunch of times. It all made my back feel great! for about an hour.....then back to the constant, dull, frustrating pain... . About 4 months ago I invited a few friends up to the cottage for some fun in the sun. A friend there who I've known for a long time but never really knew, you know? had overheard me complaining about my back pain. He offered me a 2 Percocets. I took them because I was looking for any chance of reliefs I could find.

Snap! Hooked on them. The pain just fluttered away! I felt lifted! Anew, reborn! OK, so now Im excited. There is a medication out there that works the way I want it. So I talk to my doctor he tells me Hi everyone,

I'm new to this whole outreach for advice thing. I'm just gonna start off by telling you a little about my situation.

For as long as I can remember I have had a constant pain in my mid to lowerback area. I've seen doctors and chiropractors to try and get this problem fixed. Nothing, my doctor about 6 years ago just told me to read about pain and how it can be "in your head". So taking the docs advice, I read. I learned alot about the spine and the surrounding muscles.

So since learning all that information I have started working out, doing stretches, friggin even done Hot yoga a bunch of times. It all made my back feel great! for about an hour.....then back to the constant, dull, frustrating pain... . About 4 months ago I invited a few friends up to the cottage for some fun in the sun. A friend there who I've known for a long time but never really knew, you know? had overheard me complaining about my back pain. He offered me a 2 Percocets. I took them because I was looking for any chance of reliefs I could find.

Snap! Hooked on them. The pain just fluttered away! I felt lifted! Anew, reborn! OK, so now I'm excited. There is a medication out there that works the way I want it. So I talk to my doctor he tells me ''Percocets just mask the pain, they don't solve it or cure it, It's just a coverup''. So at this point I'm like F you, obviously you don't know **** about how I'm feeling.....Maybe he was Right.

Now here I am, 4 months later.. Miserable....broke...on the verge of loosing my girlfriend of 10 years......spent the money I was gonna use on her ring to buy percocets on the street at $4 a piece.     50 of them might've lasted me 4 days if I was lucky.(I take my last 2 percs now 9:30am) So I go to the doctor yesterday(10:40am), hoping to get some perks cause I was all out and couldnt get some until this friday.

(I don't mention my addiction to percocets). He gives me Naproxen 500mg. An anti-inflammatory!!! . So whatever I get home and down 2 of these take only every 12 hours pills(2:00pm). Nothing.... (5:00pm 4 tylenol and 1 more naproxen) Start feeling really weird, got a little sweat goin on. My gf's got her friends over watching teen mom and reruns of real housewives.

(10:00pm) Whoa! cant sleep....moving allover the place like the girl from the excorsist.....drink water pee...water..pee...1 hour of sleep (I swear i just blacked out). Got the sweats.....Hot....cold....cold....hot.....cold.....hot...cold....pee.....twitch....
It was horrible called in sick today, finally told my girlfriend about the percs and also the $3000.00 debt I've been trying to hide....and she cries? asks me why I didnt tell her sooner,  She's so upset that I didn't come to her for help before this got the way it is. Doesn't even care about the money.....wow she's amazing!                                                                                            

Now here I am 9:17am. (Had to pause writing a few times as it seems my intestines are flushing themselves.) Writing here on this blog, spilling my soul. It feels good! I feel more alive now than before! (getting all tearry eyed now..)

My names Andy and I quit percocets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(whoa full on waterworks for me there......lol)

Please don't hate or try and bring me down I only wrote this to get it off my chest and out in the air. I feel good....

[HappyDays2Come]

Thanks for the update! You're doing great! Just wait until you see how much better it gets moving forward. I'm excited for you!

[SomeRandoGuy]

3:30pm. Wens. So I actually got to sleep before 12 last night which was nice. Feeling more energetic today!. Still get those weird muscle cramps and sweats but im dealing. I can't wait for this to be over. I feel free already from the pills.

Getting my **** together.

[HappyDays2Come]

I'm just seeing this but good for you for going C/T since Sunday! I went C/T from 10 - 12 10mg percocets a day and I found that tapering just prolonged the inevitable w/ds. You'll go through them regardless so it's best to get the clean ball rolling! Stay strong. The first 48 hrs were the worst for me and day 3-4 got a little bit better. Remember to be patient and to take it minute by minute. You can do this. I'm at day 34 today and I feel like a new person. Keep it up and keep us updated on how you're doing!

[SomeRandoGuy]

4:32pm. Tuesday. Hey guys. So i havent taken any pills since that last one on sunday. Trying to go cold turkey, so tough... last night I was up until about 3am. cold not fall sleep for the life of me. Watched waterworld and the beach 2 times over. I'm determined to get this over with though. Told my boss a few of the details of whats been going on. He's cool.

Picked up some vitamins and immodium today. to see if that helps. It's mostly the sleeping part of all this thats killing me. I downed 4 ZZzzquil tablets yesterday and nothing i tried going to bed way earlier in hopes i would sleep before the muscle spasms came back. Got some other ones to try tonight Nytol 50mg Diphen. I hope 4 of those will knock me out since there 50mg per instead of zzquil 25mg per.

Anyways just a little update on my sanity level. Hangin in there.

[SomeRandoGuy]

12:10pm. Sunday. Hey guys, been a little while. Took 1 pill last night just so I could sleep. Thought I was gonna need another so asked the girlfriend, she gave me one. I put it on the nightstand and stared at it....

Drifted off to sleep. Thank god. My withdrawls seem to hit me hardest about 15 hours after a dose. So today, I'm about 12 hours in. Starting to feel the affects. I'm determined not to take anymore though. I want this to be done.

Showers do help. I've taken 3 today already. There only quick 5 min showers but they seem to make a huge impact on my urges for about an hour. So that all being said I'm gonna try and find something to keep my mind focused. Movie, sleep, anything really....talk to you in a few.

[Ann2497]

How are you doing?  Are you still tapering?  I don't know if anyone told you but lots of showers and baths help.  For me, chocolate helped too.  :)

[EvolverU]

Waiting -  Green Day, I won't Back Down -- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, I see the Light -- Cracker, Back in Black AC/DC, I Won't Let Me -- The Descendents (perfect detox song!)

[diamondsontheinside]

God gave me you - blake shelton

[SomeRandoGuy]

And just to add ^^^^^  I havent taken for 4-5 since i started this. I have my mind set I HAVE to quit  I want things...Marriage...Kids... all that good stuff. ****...as I'm typing this I see ads below here talking about weed for glaucoma...I haven't smoked weed in forever damn.. There are a few songs I've been listening to that have helped put me in a good mind state when I'm really urging for a fix.

Wake me up - Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc
Weighty Ghost - Wintersleep

Please suggest some more...they hit me hard right now. And sorry for all the ...... they seem to make things easier?

[SomeRandoGuy]

Whoa Whoa....Whoa. That's alot at the current moment. I'm going from 10+ a day down to 4-5. So it's hard. I took 2 this morning at 8am. Had the sweats and shakes and head crap at around 1pm. Took 1 that my gf hid at about 2:30pm. Felt good, had to go to talk to my dad.....

Tells him drugs arent the reality, family is reality, you dont need drugs.  I hate it when he's right.. So here I am 9:15pm...drunk..cause thats how my dad rolls.(not an alcoholic, just loves life). and I'm not jonesing for another pill.

Let's be clear though, I wont use alcohol as a supressive of my problem. I rarely RARELY drink. Just at this current moment, it's working. Sorry for the all the misspelling above and after.

As far as the zero thing(EvolverU) I am highly considering it. I want this. I need this. I don't want this to be my life. My dad was in shock that I would be so stupid to even let this happen. Made me feel terrible....

This is Andy....I'm trying...

[EvolverU]

Hi Andy, Thanks for coming back on & sharing that with us!

My question for you is this: 'How did you get a hold of the pill early? Did your girlfriend give it to you? I mean what's your plan, here? Your actual taper schedule?...Look, The sweats & discomfort that you're experiencing are only for 4 or 5 days (or so.. With your dose & time in, I'd just bite the bullet. I'd wager that this is going to be a lot easier for you than it is for others. What I'm saying is that a long taper will most likely be more uncomfortable than simply doing it. I mean, you don't really start to heal until you get to zero anyway.

Please, don't beat yourself up over 'caving'. We've all relapsed -- most of us multiple times. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off & get back on track, my friend.

[SomeRandoGuy]

2:30pm Caved......so disappointed. Taking 1 now. just to ease the sweats and shakes.

[EvolverU]

Hi, Andy & good morning.

I'm glad to hear that your girlfriend is loving & clearheaded enough to stand firm. Did your Dr. give you any comfort meds for when you come off? These would help. Hope you're doing well today.

While I agree w/ Toothfairie in principle, the other possibility is to simply flush the pills you're not taking if you can stretch the time out, thereby, making the taper shorter -- not as painfully drawn out. Either way, stick to your guns my friend!

[diamondsontheinside]

Agree with toothfairie on this one, slow and STEADY. don't resist taking them cus you'll end up with a pile that you didn't take, and that is not a good idea! Ur body needs to adjust to a steady decline of pills in your system.

[SomeRandoGuy]

7:22am.  So I had to take some yesterday night. Was real rough. My girlfriend is keeping the pills with her. She's tough and doesnt give in to my bs sob story. God shes good.

So I got 2 pills for the next 12 hours, going to resist taking them as long as possible. Here goes the battle-of-the-day!

Man I love her.......

[CKN30]

I too tried the taper method in February... First I kept the bottle, didnt work. I did not have the discipline to do it. Them I have the bottle to a friend, didnt work because I would get them from him, beg for more (he would give in) and I was getting more on the side. So after 5 months of my so called taper ( I think I tapered a week) I went cold turkey. I cut all of my sources and bit the bullet. Here I am, 30 days clean. I am not saying that tapering doesn't work but when it comes to addiction sometimes self control goes out the window. If I knew I had them I wanted them.

[Bobo0331]

2 weeks ago, I was sitting in a cabin by myself alone, had my first 24 hours of no percocet or tramadol in 18 months. 5 days it was really rough, and each day has been both a challenge and a journey. It's not perfect, I am dealing with underlying anxieties, but I no longer feel like a prisoner to pills.

I saw get those pills into the hands of your mom or girlfriend. Lean on those who love you.

[toothfairie]

I agree with CKN30...it would be better if you let your gf hold them and give them to you and help with the taper...if you are gonna just take one every now and then, that's only going to prolong the process... we can't give tapering advice on here...but slow and STEADY wins the race with a taper....your body needs to adjust to the dosage to get the full effect from a taper....hope this makes some sort of sense...

[CKN30]

Is someone going to hold the pills and give you what you need to taper?

[diamondsontheinside]

Hey SRG, great job on quitting!! ur parents and ur gf must be so happy for you! Keep up the good work and hang in there when times get tough! You're doing great!

[SomeRandoGuy]

5:24pm. Went to the doctors with my mom. I love my mom. Told the doctor about my withdrawl issues and he suggested I do a medicated drop off of the percocet. So he prescribes me 36 and gives me a 5-day wean off plan. So now I have these 36 lifesavers that I want sooooooooo bad. But I know in my heart I just can't do it.

The look my girlfriend gave me this morning when I told her all this was
crushing....She wasn't upset at all the money I had wasted, she was upset that I wasn't able to ask for her help. The look......those eyes stared right into my soul. She wanted to just make everything to be better for me. I love her so much....

Anyways back to the percs. I;m gonna do my best not to take them unless the withdrawls get sooo fierce then I will take 1. I figure if I can spread them out over the course of my withdrawl it will make it easier to come down off them. does that make sense?

God this is soo hard, this morning I never wanted to see them again and now there just sitting there staring at me....

5:31pm still shaky and sweating. but hanging in there!!

[EvolverU]

Dude! You can do this. It's only going to take five days or so. Please, try this first before you try Subs or whatever. I mean, you're already doing it! What your Dr. might help you w/ is Clonidine (Blood Pressure Med commonly used in opiate detox to help w/ anxiety) &/or Neurontin (Gabapentin which helps w/ RLS & sometimes w/sleep). He might try to give you benzos but I'd stay away if at all possible.

HOLD FAST & you'll own this!

[SomeRandoGuy]

Well parents were pissed, understandably. My moms going to take me to the docs to see if theres a better way to withdrawl. 3:22pm. shivers shakes sweats uncomfortable. ***** soooooooo bad. Hanging in there though. Thanks for the support!

[EvolverU]

Hiya Andy, So very glad to hear that you've told your folks about this!! The more people you tell the more support you'll get & the more 'witnessed' you'll become (meaning it tends to keep us more honest as we have more than ourselves to answer to.) Soooo, my friend, how many hours in are you right now? That's great that you're staying busy. Remember, if you need to get into that tub -- by all means do it! (It really helps.) Also, since you've got a cool girlfriend massage & reflexology after a bath is good for anxiety. Many find that (including me!) find that music w/ earbuds/headphones is a lifesaver throughout detox. You might also try watching funny movies as laughter helps fire those endorphins. (smile.)

Glad to hear that your sense of humor is intact:

"I dont ever wanna even hear the word  Percocet. (Unless it's an unlimited supply) "

(Bigger Smile To You)

Hang in there -- you're doing great!