i'm new here but have been following for awhile . I have 24 days clean today from vicodin and other opiates . i'm a stay at home mother of 3 and have been taking opiates for 6 years , my husband has too but i got way worse then he did , he has also been clean for 24 days ! I'm not sure why i'm writing ..i guess because i feel like today is a hard day , i knew everyday wouldn't be great but so far i feel like my battel has been pretty easy compared to some people and i feel very lucky for that ! everyday does get better and better and life is so much more enjoyable ! I feel like god has given me a lot of strength and there is almost no temptation to go back to that dreaded life i was living for so long . i use to wake up and pray that God would take me away from this world , now i wake up and thank God for blessing me with everything he has .For the most part i am doing great ..now for the problem . i am very emotional today , feeling very alone , anxious , and sad . i kept my addiction a secret from everyone i know , my family, friends , EVERYONE , to this day i have only told my mother ... i have a younger sister who is 25 i haven't seen her in 3 years because she is missing , 3 years ago we tried to save her from her addiction ( oxy or roxy whatever u want to call it ) i was taking vicodin at the time but i felt like it was under control only 2 a day , watching what happened to my sister was tramatizing to our whole family . she had everything going for her , college , money in the bank , a great job , a car , and was drop dead gorgeous , we watched what this drug did to her , she lost everything , all morals , looks , all her money , and she felt worthless . we tried everything we could , we put her iinto rehab , jail , a metal home , and one day feb 15 (will b 3 years ) since i talked to her last , she just disappeared, there r more details ..her boyfriend (dealer ) might have killed her , anyways the pain i am feeling from not knowing where she is , if she is alive and prosituting on the streets (we heard she was ) or if she is dead , it' metal troture everyday . i wish i would've come clean and told everyone about my addiction years ago so we could've done it together . when i told my mother about my addiction i knew it would bring back all the emotions that we went thru with my sister (laura) that's why when i told my mom i knew i would never touch another pill in life because i could'nt dissapoint my mom and put our family thru this again. i don't really talk about laura to my mom because it upsets her to much but sometimes i just need to talk about her , i miss her so much and wish i could turn back time , my heart hurts really bad today .....will be sober forever , no matter how hard the days get ....please everyone stay sober because life is so much better but u will have hard days just stay strong. i hit my rock bottom but i feel like y rock bottom is way better them some . sorry about going on and on ..