Really, really struggling to keep going

[tryin2bdone]

Are y'all sure I am going to get through this.  I am trying to do everything I have read...positive thoughts, go outside, supplements, good food, lots of water.  But I am so darn fatigued and it has been 26 days since my last lortab.  I have seemed to just get worse this week even though I push myself through the tears to keep doing physical things.  I couldn't even find the energy to shower today and it took everything I had to sit in my chair and work on the computer (thank God I work at home or I would have been fired by now).  I went out to water the flowers and had sit in the chair for 10 minutes before I could even come in.  And my mind keeps telling me that there is something else wrong with me and that I will never be any different and I will end up having to take the pills again to ever be able to do anything but sit in a chair.  I am fighting it like crazy but I am so weary.  I don't have any pills and have never gotten them anywhere except my doctor so there isn't any chance of me taking anything unless I make an appointment which wouldn't be until next week sometime.  Please somebody tell me that I will not be like this forever.  Right now I am in a pretty dark place as I read of all the people that are so much better at 30 days and are moving on with their lives while I seem stuck.  Sorry to whine.  Nobody like to hear a complainer.  At least in my family.

[tryin2bdone]

I have an appt. with dr. next week on Tues at 3pm.  That was the soonest they could get me in. I will check back in before my appt. bc I know I will be tempted to get my pain med script refilled.  The first words out of my mouth when I get in there will be 'I do not want to take the pain pills anymore'.  So I hope that on Tues morning y'all will pray for me and help me to do that.

I so appreciate you all being there for me.  Thank you so much.  

[Nursey7]

I am sorry you are in a "pretty dark place".   Those are some very scary words!  Please get to the doctor as soon as you can!  Also, aftercare like mentioned above is so important!!  The word HOPE I just learned at the hospital means: Hearing Other People's Experience. It is so key to recovery. May peace be with you

[spider6]

Awww Sweetie, I so get how you feel about nobody in your family gets it.
I'm in the same boat too.  It can be quite discouraging and in the past I have used that to just blow it all to Hel! and throw a handful of pills down
my throat. The one single and only difference for me this time and why I
am succeeding is this MedHelp site and peeps......hand to God...I owe them big time.   So stick with it and I'm rootin and watchin.  If you want
to pm me somtime and talk that would be my pleasure.
hope and hugs.

[toothfairie]

let us know what the doctor says if you get in today.....and we will always support you....you can come here as often as you like....in the beginning i stayed glued to this site.  Hang in there and let us know.  

[tryin2bdone]

I appreciate your support and am thankful I have somewhere to come and vent and get advice from others who understand what I am going through.  I will make that appt. today.  And I will put one foot in front of the other no matter how hard.  As long as all of you don't mind if I still come ask for support and encouragement.  Nobody in my family gets it.  They just keep expecting me to be the wife, the mother, the breadwinner and everything to everyone because that is who I have always been.  And now I can't and my whole family is falling apart and looking at me wondering why I am not doing what I have always done.  When I say anything they say they are tired of hearing how sick I feel or they just walk away.  So thank you all for being there for me.  I will now try to make it through another day.  

[spider6]

Hie there,
I'm sorry you're feeling so discouraged too.....wonderful wonderful
advice above......oh and the "time" thing  uuuughghghghgh hate that
word too!  hmmmm we could call it: the "space between something happening then travelling to another thing happening" Ha that's it, if we
had to say all that, maybe we wouldn't think about time at all.

I still get a low energy moments where I have to sit down but then in a few moments I'm up again.  Promise it won't be as bad as this forever.

Kyle is right about the Dr. though, I suffer from low iron sometimes too.
Ya never know.....worth a shot.

sending prayers for speedy recovery and lifted spitits.
peace and hope.

[meegWpaw]

hey tryin, just wanted to tell you that when i first got clean, every day was a struggle for a very long time.  i cried a lot.  i remember things like the chair incident you describe, maybe not a chair but very minimal, simple movement seemed like a gigantic effort to me and took what seemed like a long time.  I really struggled in the beginning, physically and mentally too.  I was very depressed.  I was out of work so I had a routine I had put together for myself which i did every day and i remember crying after getting out of the shower and coaching myself to get dressed every day.  it definitely DOES get better than this!  i can assure you of that.  feel free to pm me if you want to talk.  :)

[Heather8448]

I agree with everyone aove keep fighting!! I had to take zoloft temporarily...talk to a dr...you caN DO THIS!!! YOUR STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW!!!

[Sonrissa]

Hi there! Please don't get discouraged. At 30 days, I still had alot of fatigue. For me, fatigue and sleep were the last things to come back. If it keeps up definately do see you doctor for some bloodwork. You have been given great advice. Keep putting one foot ahead of the other. You will get through this! Keep posting for support!

[jenjen1966]

Hi. I am just at 3 weeks. I very rarely post because, well, I still feel like garbage. I don't want to discourage anyone. I have some underlying health issues tho. I cancelled a doctor's appointment yesterday because I just didn't have the energy to make the trip. It's 125 miles each way. I did reschedule for 3 weeks from now. I know its hard. It does sound like you are getting things done. Even if its slowly. Try to give yourself time. I hate that word! And if you're not seeing steady improvement, even if slow, make that appointment. I think everyone is just different. Good luck. Hang in there!

[BarbRTR]

I too felt just as fatigued day 30 as day 1. I have a bad heart problem though. But, I soon realized my body was just taking longer than some others.

I would strongly suggest going to the Dr as Kyle said. Prob don't say anything about the detox, and let them run simple Bloodwork and a UA. I'm sure you'll be turning the corner soon, but we weren't nice to our bodies using, so it might be your are low on Vit B or something simple.
If nothing else it will put your mind at ease.

But not everyone was doing a dance at day 30. For some, it took a little bit longer.

[VICourageous]

Good one IBKleen..I was going to ask the same thing about Meetings. Oh! Hun do not feel alone. I went ct at the age 56 a little over a Year ago..I was SO worried about the energy thing that I just cried out all the time. I thought I too was the lone ranger on here..YES that darn TIME word..BUT it is soooooooooooo True..It does take time to heal..With time comes a lot of patience. I feel like I went into a deep sleep at 20 and woke up being 57 now. If we have used for a very, very long time then we might not ever know what the feeling of being Normal is.
I can not stress to you how much you have to look at the positive side as well has the negative..I promise you will bounce back in TIME..It does take a long time for the Brain Chems and such to balance back from the removal of these Stims..What you are saying right now is true and to me it is very normal at the days you have..I am SO proud of you that you can come on and admitted it. Just hang tight and ride it out..You will be walking and running and singing and dancing in no time.
Bless
Patience, patience and more darn patience..

[ROSYouralright]

You are not alone and you are doing GREAT!! It was seriously around day 40 before I started noticing REAL improvement... At day 59 my energy level is still nowhere near where it used to be and I am thankful for the rare night of good nights sleep... It takes time to heal after all the abuse we have put our bodies through but IT DOES GET BETTER...SLOWLY but SURELY!! HANG IN THERE! NO TURNING BACK! IM ROOTING FOR YOU!!

[BearsFan1966]

I am so sorry you are feeling bad....I am not going to lie some days are better than others. I am at day 43 right now and having a pretty bad day, but then I remember that a bad day or a few bad days is so much better than any day on pills! Its all a mental game right now and being tired and no motivation does not help! Please be patient and it will all come back! You have come to far to go back!!! You are doing great!

[kyle505]

Although, as it's been said time and time again, we are all different, I'd have thought that at this point you wouldn't be crippled with fatigue. Granted, it takes a long time to heal, physically and mentally, but this seems strange to me.
We can't give medical advice on this site, so I'd strongly suggest that you make an appointment with your doc. Tell him/her nothing about the detox, if you'd be more comfortable, and only that you're tired all the time. Get them to do some blood work on you. It may be as simple as low iron. You've been running on meds for so long, if there'd have been any real changes to your body you probably wouldn't have noticed.
Make the appointment ASAP. And taking pain pills for this is not, and never will be the answer.
K

[tryin2bdone]

Thank you for encouraging me.  I won't give in to the pills.  My fear is that I will just curl up in a ball and stay in the bed because I have given up hope.  I remember all to well what the last few weeks have been like and never want to relive one day of it.  But you are right that the thought of a pill making this all go away is there in my head just because I am so tired of feeling so tired and bad.  And I don't have any form of aftercare in place.  I am praying that I make it.

[IBKleen]

You can complain all you want here honey. No one will judge you. We have all been there.

You will learn to hate the word but it is going to take "time". For some it comes sooner than others and it has a lot of factors that make it so. Your age, general health, etc., etc.

Please hang in there. I promise it will get better.

Have you considered any form of aftercare? I ask because I see those pills are talking to you and I would hate to see you cave when you have come this far.