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Recovery is possible, living proof

It's been several months since I first posted here in such desperation, and overwhelming fear of detoxing " Cold Turkey " from 150mg patches every 48 hrs, along with large amounts of Vicodine prescribed 5 years back for so called acute back pain as a result of 2 bulging disks in my T2/T3 spinal area which at the end of my use was abusing my patches leaving them on 3 days and doubling up on them which could have killed me.
Today I am 7 months clean of all substances thanks to the guidance of many on this forum. I felt it only appropriate to post my progress to those just beginning their journey. Before I began my recovery my prescribing Dr abruptly dropped me as a patient after a 13 year relationship, before I was abusing my meds. And had to turn to a family friend, a physician to help me as no Dr would accept me on both drugs, now being labeled an addict. I had not began to abuse my meds until they stopped working well into working with my new Dr who was less than thrilled about just prescribing. And who also had little knowledge about how to detox me accept to offer me soboxone which I declined knowing that any other substances added would lead to other detoxes down the road.
Now before I go further, it was a personal choice to detox cold turkey which I can tell you was intencly harsh, so this may not be suggested as the best way, but if there is no choice, It can be done. I started to taper down immediatly to 75mg every 3 days which was tough, and dropped down Vicodine taking only 3 times a day from 3 at a time 5 times a day for about a month, then dropped to 50mgs in about 3 weeks, until I got to 25mg patches in another 3 weeks and couldn't do the taper anymore and stopped all meds.
Yes I was EXTREMLY sick in the first weeks, flu symptoms, anxiety, no sleep for days, rapid weight loss, hot/cold sweats, tremoring shakes, and leg cramps. None of which killed me ! It took about 9 weeks off of everything that things started to turn for the better, but I had to work at it. I needed to force myself to eat, and drink lots of water, walk, even around the house until soon I was outside, then around the neighborhood. Lots of baths, slept when able. And as soon as I could went to 12 step meeting daily, even while still detoxing. I can't stress how helpful they were to become in my recovery. 7 months later, I have no symtoms of detox issues, which for awhile had issues of regulating my body temp, all of which was tested and all results fine, and my pain levels intrestingly are virtually gone. Not to say I don't have my days, but with alternative pain management such as PT I did breifly, acupunture which I do once a week and just walking there is no need for narcotic pain relief. Nor to I have to take sleep meds or anxiety meds which I had been on for years. My life is mine again. I no longer live in the insane cycle of opiate addiction, nor live in " acute pain " like I thought I did every time I craved more opiates which only masked the reality of just needing to change my life style. Which since I stopped have not had one craving.
So if you're ready to stop this, I assure you it's worth the discomfort in the beginning. Be gentle with yourself. Have a plan to set some time to yourself in the first weeks to walk thru the physical stuff, retrain your mind when the cravings come if they do by just by doing something else like eating, sleeping if able, or go walk. Or call someone supportive, It WILL pass. And I strongly suggest either AA meetings which are more avalible in certain areas, where there are many recovering addicts in the meetings. Or attend NA meetings. Just having the daily support of others, and making connections with people who don't use was huge in staying on my journey. Take it slow, don't use, go to meetings, the rest will fall into place. One day at a time, make a choice to be part of your own life again. Last year I never thought I would be clean. And 7 months ago, alone I would not have been able to be ! Many thanks to those who guided me in those early days here. And if you're just starting everyday it will get better. I promise !
Sorry for the long post. Just wanted to share that recovery is possible ...
6 Responses
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7689249 tn?1408018598
hey i remember you so glad to hear your success it is really wonderful and just proves it can be done keep on keeping on girl hope the newbies read this and it helps them
Helpful - 0
11318065 tn?1462984479
Thank you so much for your post!  It is so encouraging to read!!  I am on day 11 and am plugging along and not feeling too bad but it is good to read that there is hope at the end of the daily struggle!!!!   Thanks again for sharing your miracle!!!!
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Avatar universal
Oh thank you so much for the inspiration, I am so afraid of what will happen if I really do stop, mostly afraid of losing my job ( I work 8-5:30 Mon-Fri. ) I am afraid I will snap, I can't really take any time off.  Can I really get through this? Is 4-6 pills a day a sissy amount ( only about 50-60 mg) I can feel my brain changing because of these drugs.  Does the brain ever go back to a better health?   Top that off with alcohol….I quit drinking 25 years ago for 5 years, now have been drinking along with this for 20 years,  never crazy drunk, just a couple every night after work. It seems like aI am so forgetful all the time, and don't care much about dressing up or putting on makeup.   Good genes helps, but I know it is only a matter of time.  If you can do it, I can!! Thank you for sharing your story, I have a will now to try to quit!
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your post.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey good to see you great to see you clean  your post is ausum  you dont candy coat it the physical part s ucks but it is the mental mindscrew that brings you down  im so happy you shared about aftercare  im a big fan of N/a it works if you work it thanks for coming back to share we can always use a success story just keep doing what your doing and you will continue to grow it is not about perfection but rather progress  God is not done with you or I my work is never finished  but every day a addict does not use is a mirical it take all of us to reach the hopeless addicts ..........Gnarly
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Avatar universal
Great post!!!! Yay, I do hope the newcomers read it, too:)
Helpful - 0
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