I just wanted to share this with people who can appreciate this milestone. My family and friends are awesome, and supportive, but they just don't get it. The battle that we are fighting is serious, and HARD. I think they just think once you cease using drugs and/or alcohol, (in my case, both) that you are all good. I find that almost laughable. There are so many layers to my recovery, I am still working hard everyday to figure things out, why I feel certain ways, how can I do this differently, etc. Anyway, I have been stoked, waiting for today to get here, so I can say, I have been clean and sober for 18 whole months. In a row! I never thought I would escape the prison I created for myself. I remember it so clearly, the desperation, the darkness. It helps me today, it keeps things in perspective for me. I am still grateful everyday, at some point or another, but sometimes I find myself getting all worked up because I am on hold for too long, or someone is holding up the line, or some other grave injustice is being committed against me (kidding), and I reflect over how much things have really changed. I have my family, my husband and kids, a home, and countless other blessings, when a year and half ago, I was quickly headed toward divorce, losing my kids, or homeless, if I didn't stop using. I am lucky that I get to take my kindergartener to school everyday, or be the team mom for his baseball team (got this by default, hub is the coach). I couldn't be depended on for things like that anymore towards the end of my use. People can depend on me now, and that is HUGE. So I try to chill out about the trivial stuff, because that's all it is. I have everything I need, and that is what matters. Anyway, I am rambling, but wanted to share. Going to get my long coveted 18 month chip tomorrow, super stoked! Thanks for listening, peeps.
Allison