YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!
Hey you I feel for you and understand where you are. I was there 96 days ago, disgusted with pills, life, pain and myself. My emotions & feelings raging from a divorce and the disgusts I just mentioned. I did the exactly same thing you did, exactly!!!! One Saturday morning I summoned all my courage grabbed $500 worth of oxy's (the devil) I just filled walked to the toilet and flushed them, grabbed the somas and send them down to hell with the oxy's. They are where they belong now. It was tough but I knew it was the right thing to do then and I now I am 100% sure that it was the right thing to do, I have been set free of all the pain that addiction causes. Life is not perfect but thats OK because NOBODY HAS A PERFECT LIFE!!
Here are a few suggestions that may help.
First - don't listen to bad thoughts or negative feelings because they are NOT facts. When we stop doing dope our emotions are totally out of whack. Feelings unchecked can take you right back to the dope. Run them by someone you trust or a clean person on this site.
Second - recognize that withdrawls "though they suck" are ONLY temporary. They are the necessary evil to suffer for your upcoming joy & freedom!!
Third - get out of the house. The drug dungeon is what I call it!!
Fourth- excercise, dring lots of water, eat protein shakes and vitamins.
Fifth- realize that recovery is not an event it is a process. It will be awhile before you are better.
Sixth- take it one day at a time. There is nothing you can do for yesterday or tomorrow.
Seventh- Pray, pray & pray some more!! God has the power to get you clean. If we had the power to get clean we would have already done it.
Your sleep will come back eventually. You are on the right track & we are here to help
I just said a prayer for you.
Dafish
Wow cool analogy! I am at the towel stage drying off after a long tread!! Almost 100 days and lovin' it. Very inspirational,,,,,,I know it will help those who have suffered a setback. Setbacks are to be learned from.
You know you really made me think about CT vs.Taper. All of us all really do both. We always run out of pills faster and faster so we begin to ration them or Taper,,,,, but ultimately the day comes when we have to say today NO MORE PILLS or CT.
Great to hear from ya!
Dafish
Great post Freedom!! You have given me a new way to look at this that i didn't have before. I love it when that happens, it really does help me a great deal and makes my day just a little bit brighter!! Thank you.
I am 68 days clean today and you all have done so much to keep me going strong!!
Jacky
That was extremely brave. Good for you!
I think Freedom made an excellent analogy with the "treading water thing". Actually I love that and will remember it always. With each new day w/o opiates the struggle to tread physically becomes less, and eventually the mental part will as well.. And then my feet will be firmly planted on the ground where I can walk with relative "ease." And live the live God has intended for me.
Thank you Freedom!
Blessings.....Rue.
Good for you on flushing the rest of those pills. Those pills gave you a false sense of security as they arent for emotions. Are you doing anything for recovery care? That is where you will find that you can and will be happy again, pill free. sara
thank you Freedom! I relapsed yesteday, picked up my refill of 180 vicodin, took one, then under stress 4 hrs later took 3 more, woke up inthe nite feeling so horrible I flushed the rest down the toilet, I can't believe I did that and I can't believe I have nothing to rely on when I'm raging mad or uncontrollably sad. I feel stuck between a arock and hard place. this first time i felt normal was when i took a vicodin, i don't feel like I ever will be happy again, but hopefully i will,
Getting and staying clean needs to be the most important thing in your life and needs to be held sacred. You have to do whatever it takes to protect that......sara