Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
1110177 tn?1268461548

Relapsed?? So what...start being clean again today.

Relapses are very common and usually part of this wonderful journey of getting clean.  I know it's hard...but try not to focus on the relapse...focus instead on the "prize".  The question is...what are you going to do now??  Are you going to abuse pills as badly as you did before your clean time??  Or are you going to keep fighting, keep the relapse in perspective and choose to make today the start of your next clean stretch.  Fight like hell to get in more clean days than high ones.  Make that your goal if 100% abstinence doesn't seem possible.  

I like this analogy...imagine you are in a room filled with water, the top of which is 10 feet above your head.  At this point, you can't touch the bottom of your confinement...but you are treading and fighting to keep your head above the water line.  Now, every time you can put in a clean day the water SLOWLY drops.  Suddenly, you can feel the floor of your confinement, you don't have to tread water with as much effort as before.  Just "surviving" is getting easier and you can start to use your wonderful God given gifts to start finding a way out of your prison.  You put in another clean day...and like the day before, more water drains out of your hell.  But you are getting tired, you are getting frustrated, and want a break from all this effort, the water isn't dropping as fast as you think it possibly should...so you reluctantly take a pill, and to your dismay, a little bit of water rushes back in to the enclosure.  At this point though...you are still ahead of where you were two days ago.  Now it's the day after...what are you going to do?  You know deep down, the only way out of this, is to completely drain this prison of the very thing that will kill you, once you are too tired to fight anymore.

I think everyone gets the picture.  Cold Turkey, although probably the best route, is sometimes not feasible...given various factors...type of drug, amount and duration of use, commitments to work and family, etc.  But you can win this battle over time...always making sure to make tomorrow less than yesterday, this week less than last, this month better than the one before...until you wake up one day and things seem brighter, sounds seem crisper, tastes are more flavorful, music gives you chills again and life comes rushing back in.

Keep fighting my good friends...I haven't checked in for a while, but thought I'd post and possibly help someone through their day!!


~ Free
8 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
1171817 tn?1281632180
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!

Hey you I feel for you and understand where you are. I was there 96 days ago, disgusted with pills, life, pain and myself. My emotions & feelings raging from a divorce and the disgusts I just mentioned. I did the exactly same thing you did, exactly!!!!  One Saturday morning I summoned all my courage grabbed $500 worth of oxy's (the devil)   I just filled walked to the toilet and flushed them, grabbed the somas and send them down to hell with the oxy's. They are where they belong now. It was tough but I knew it was the right thing to do then and I now I am 100% sure that it was the right thing to do, I have been set free of all the pain that addiction causes. Life is not perfect but thats OK because NOBODY HAS A PERFECT LIFE!!

Here are a few suggestions that may help.

First - don't listen to bad thoughts or negative feelings because they are NOT facts.  When we stop doing dope our emotions are totally out of whack. Feelings unchecked can take you right back to the dope. Run them by someone you trust or a clean person on this site.

Second - recognize that withdrawls "though they suck" are ONLY temporary. They are the necessary evil to suffer for your upcoming joy & freedom!!

Third - get out of the house. The drug dungeon is what I call it!!

Fourth-  excercise, dring lots of water, eat protein shakes and vitamins.

Fifth- realize that recovery is not an event it is a process. It will be awhile before you are better.

Sixth- take it one day at a time. There is nothing you can do for yesterday or tomorrow.

Seventh- Pray, pray & pray some more!! God has the power to get you clean. If we had the power to get clean we would have already done it.

Your sleep will come back eventually. You are on the right track & we are here to help

I just said a prayer for you.

Dafish



Helpful - 0
1171817 tn?1281632180
Wow cool analogy! I am at the towel stage drying off after a long tread!! Almost 100 days and lovin' it. Very inspirational,,,,,,I know it will help those who have suffered a setback. Setbacks are to be learned from.

You know you really made me think about CT vs.Taper.  All of us all really do both. We always run out of pills faster and faster so we begin to ration them or Taper,,,,,  but ultimately the day comes when we have to say today NO MORE PILLS or CT.

Great to hear from ya!

Dafish
Helpful - 0
1202033 tn?1273771354
Great post Freedom!! You have given me a new way to look at this that i didn't have before. I love it when that happens, it really does help me a great deal and makes my day just a little bit brighter!! Thank you.

I am 68 days clean today and you all have done so much to keep me going strong!!


Jacky
Helpful - 0
496208 tn?1271339076
That was extremely brave.  Good for you!  

I think Freedom made an excellent analogy with the "treading water thing".  Actually I love that and will remember it always.  With each new day w/o opiates the struggle to tread physically becomes less, and eventually the mental part will as well.. And then  my feet will be firmly planted on the ground where I can walk with relative "ease."  And live the live God has intended for me.

Thank you Freedom!

Blessings.....Rue.
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Good for you on flushing the rest of those pills.  Those pills gave you a false sense of security as they arent for emotions.  Are you doing anything for recovery care?  That is where you will find that you can and will be happy again, pill free.      sara
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thank  you Freedom!  I relapsed yesteday, picked up my refill of 180 vicodin, took one, then under stress 4 hrs later took 3 more, woke up inthe nite feeling so horrible I flushed the rest down the toilet, I can't believe I did that and I can't believe I have nothing to rely on when I'm raging mad or uncontrollably sad. I feel stuck between a arock and hard place. this first time i felt normal was when i took a vicodin, i don't feel like I ever will be happy again, but hopefully i will,
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Getting and staying clean needs to be the most important thing in your life and needs to be held sacred.  You have to do whatever it takes to protect that......sara
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Great post!  
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
phoenix, AZ
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.