I don't know what to say or where to start?? I'm a mum of two kids 14&8 I'm 34 years old. I've been taking oxy ir's for 13 years. Nobody knows I'm addicted. I haven't had to go through withdrawals in 7 years since I found this doctor. (I have severe endometriosis.) but before him I got them wherever I could. Walk in clinics,E.R. Doctors! The nurses& doctors just shook there head at me and called me an addict. I'd come home and cry. Yet I'd still hide it from my family. My husband works away,he's only home for a week every 6 weeks. My doctor decided 9 months ago he wants me off these. I was prescribed 20mg oxy ir's 5 times a day. He put me to 4.then after a few weeks We switched to 4 10's of oxy ir's a day and then 3 But that's not what I I'm taking I take 5.25 a day,I break them up and take 7.5.mg I'm to scared to tell him I'm taking that many. He was so proud of me for asking to go to the 10's on my own. But it's gone to fast. I wasn't ready to go down. But he said if I let you you never will be ready. I always go in early and make up some excuse. He's never turned me down....untill now! I called to make an app for Monday. The receptionist said "you can see him,but he won't give you your meds. Your way to early and he will get in trouble."I've wanted off for years,but I'm scared. I have no one to ask for help. My mums sick in her own ways. My mother in-law would judge me and I don't want her to know. I would tell my husband but he wouldn't understand. He would just say so don't take them. I sometimes think it would be easier to not be here anymore then I would never have to tell anyone the evil I've lived with inside me for all these years. I'm scared I don't want to be alone anymore. I know the withdrawals are coming,I remember them. But they will be nothing compared to this. I've had them in my system everyday for 7 years.