Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Scared of losing my kids

Hi. I was told that I should post this, so here goes. I am married and my husband and I both take Lortab. We each have a prescription for 180 each per month (6 a day each). The Lortab are 10/500 and we have been on them for a long time. Several years in fact. We both want to quit, can't talk to family about it, and do not want to involve any programs because we have 3 children. We do not take more than we are prescribed, but I know there is an addiction. Our children are 14, 13, and 8. We are 31 and 33. My biggest fear is for my children. I can not lose them. I have been a Mom since age 17 and my husband had been a "Deda" as they call him, since he was 18. Any thoughts or advice for me?
44 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
OK....I AM GETTING A HEADACHE FROM GOING BACK AND FORTH SO CAN WE JUST STICK TO THE OTHER POST WITH LESS REPLIES SO FAR? ITS CALLED "MORE CONFUSED THAN I WAS BEFORE" THANKS
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Can I ask a question? Why not use a pill to stop taking pills?
Suboxone was created just for what you want to do. Its under a doctors care. And think of it this way, Ifyou are worried about the effects and how that might fall into your daily interactive part of your life iwth your kids, extended family, etc... then a possible solution might be Suboxone. If yoiu fail C/T, will your kids find out what you are trying to keep a secret? Not trying to tlak you into anything Confused, just hope to keep the door open on a possible solution until you are able to decide your course of action. I wish you the best of luck. Keep posting so we can keep up to date.
Thanks Confused
MikeWithFAmily
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
No, not about stopping, but about going about just that. I was going to taper, but I guess I did that wrong. just confused and not sure how to feel right now.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Are you confused about getting off pills or feeling confused affect of withdraw? the first couple of days it took everything in me just to be ,forget about funtioning for a while its okay.Superwoman can have a few days off.,
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks and I read about it and didn't want to use another pill or med. to fix this one........still thinking about it. Thanks for your post. Greatly appreciate it. P.S. I can tell my moods are crappy and ppl are not afraid to tell me it either. I want to be me again.....the real me.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi Confused,
My name is Mike. I too live in Michigan and just LOVE this weather...lol. Anyway, I read your posts and I was wondering; have you ever thought about using Suboxone? I started Suboxone last MOnday (7 days ago) and I feel wonderful. Since starting it, I have had no withdrawal symptoms. Very few urges to take Vics (yet not strong enough to actually make me do it) and I am able to work, be a better father, husband, friend and I am workingon developing more positive, healthier habits to replace my need to take pills. I am also working on my triggers to avoid them in the future. I am doing just great and its because of hte Suboxone. It really works. Anyway, if you are thinking of quitting which it sounds like you are, I would encourage you to try it. It allows you to establish a healthier lifestyle through repitition so when you want to stop takingSubxone, you have an entirely different routine that does not involve taking drugs. You mentioned that ou do not want your childrent o know...I understand that because I do not want my kids to know either, at least not until they are a little older. Anyway, using the Suboxone, they will never even realize a change. Well, they may say that you are nicer and not as edgy though. I have heard that from some friends and family. Point is, I changed a bit and did not even realize it. You may have as well and not realized it. My family just adjusted to my mood swings. Anyway, Let me know if I can help answer any questions.
Good Luck Confused.
Mike
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks.....I'm just more confused now than I was.......
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Glad your still here,I think we should have mentioned if possible clear your schedule,serve frozen food or something the kids can cook.I could not even take stress of the phone,I just hid out.Your husband can tell the world you have the flu .If you can avoid any stress it helps thru the first week.Not everyone has this luxury but if possible try.Also do you know about thomas recipe you will need provisions.I took alot of advil and advil pms at night.Herbal tea is soothing Take lots of hot baths when you stress or ache.I also used as excuse to eat icecream and do not forget imodium another charming symptom for some and lets not forget the sneezing.Hang in
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Tapering never worked for me.  My life revolved around when it was time for me to take the next pill or if I happened to take one sooner than I was supposed to it revolved around when I would not take another so I could make up for taking the one I wasn't supposed to take.
I would just stop if I were you.  A week from now when you're posting about your taper schedule an dhow hard it is to not take that one extra you could be posting about how it feels to have 5 days clean.  
It will be like a bad flu.  I chose the suboxone route.  I am doing a 10 day detox.  I have a job I cannot miss out on and a 2 year old I cannot miss out on with virtually no help from anyone, including my husband, so Sub was the only route for me.
Getting clean is not going to be your issue an it's not going to be your husband's issue, it's what you do AFTER you get clean that's going to be the real struggle.  How are you planning on not going back to the pills especially when they are so readily available for both of you?
I agree with a lot of what you said but the main thing I agree with is that you have to concentrate on you.  He is a grown man and can and will do what he wants to.  Your only responsibility is to yourself AND your kids.  Hopefully even if you quit before him and stay clean the power of example will work its magic.
Good luck.
PS, I wouldn't tell the kids but I would watch them closely for signs of any addiction as they get older since there is a huge genetic disposition as you well know.
  
Helpful - 0
199177 tn?1490498534
Plz dont try  to speed up your taper , I have seen people try this many times they cut back to fast then they end up backsliding ....If you have a taper plan stick to it ..... good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
OK....so I was walking out the front door and I promised myself that I was NOT going to take a pill until I got back home. So all was fine, until I freakin' ran out of gas. I live in Michigan and it is 9 degrees outside and with wind chill...its -4.......so I sat in my car being angry and trying to convince myself that I didn't need a pill. After 20 minutes, my phone rang and it was my Mom wondering if I was coming. I told her that I called her but couldn't get through her phone and was stranded. She said she was on her way. Then I felt better because I knew I wasn't going to have to walk......she showed up AND had no gas with her. She actually drove to me to tell me that she was going to get gas (which by the way, she had passed 3 stations on her way to me)........GRRRRRR......I was mad again!!! So, I stayed in my car waiting while she went to the gas station, and talked to myself some more about y I did not need a pill. She came back, I helped her as needed, and then was on my way back home. Now my legs and arms feel funky....tingly, annoying, kinda numb-like, jittery, and are driving me crazy, so I crank up my stereo (thankfully I have a kickin' stereo in my car) and jam to the tunes! So, who has faith that I did not take a pill? Well.............I did NOT take a pill, and once I got home, I decided to take a shower instead of taking one just yet to push myself that tiny bit farther. I still have not taken one, but am just about to. I am happy that I made it through the crappy trip to town and back. Once I do take it, it will be my 2nd one today........thanks for the replies!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sorry, I sent that way to soon! With no explanation of what happened while I was gone and all that. I will tell you what happened, but 1st:
IBKLEEN.....I wanted to do the schedule, but yet I just want to see if I can do it faster. I guess I am hard headed and once I set my mind to something!!! You know! I wanted to know if I can live without so many per day. I greatly appreciate the schedule and if this does not work, I am trying that next! Thank you!!!! Greatly appreciate it!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hello everyone. Thanks for the posts and I am back from town now.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
EXACTLY!!!
That's the depressing part...you take that pill...then what? One more, one more onemoreonemore....and nothings changed except your poor body is hooked again and the problem is still there.
This is why we need each other....I feel better all ready. Yep. Feeling better without a pill, who knew?!!!!
Helpful - 0
390416 tn?1275185087
NO PILL...NO PILL......NO PILL...............
Think this thru, confused...What is ONE pill going to do???    
NOTHING.....but lead to 1 more, then 2, and then you're off and running again....

NO PILL....NO PILL.....NOPILL.......
Helpful - 0
271792 tn?1334979657
Confused..just wondering honey???? Why did you not stick to the taper schedule? Why did you change plans?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
This is that dredded trigger:
RESENTMENT
Like that? I just learned it this weekend. Of course I know that word. I'll bet the ol' timers on here are rolling their eyes..but like I said...I'm new. Starting to pay attention to what my personnal triggers are! RESENTMENT is my main huge big one. Why can't we tell our mom no. ? Why? I would rather take that pill then tell her no. I feel you. All I can say is don't do it. Easier said than done.. Let me know what you decide. Either way. Just know I understand. I do understand....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I live in BFE...LOL....anyway, I just came from the Dr. for my hubby and it is a 40 minute drive, and my Mom just called and I have to go back and meet her where I just came from!!! Now, I am just grouchy about it. I live in MI and its freezin' and I don't want to leave again, and now I am going to want a pill.....this sucks!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am extremely happy that you read this and decided to write on here. It was difficult for me to post this post, but now I feel there was a reason for it! Maybe it was fate......Anyway, congrats, and I agree for now at least about not telling the kids. I am not sure that I will be much help to you since this is only day 2 for me, but since we are both in the beginning of a long road, I will help any way that I can....even if it is just to talk you through a craving. I am here now pretty much constantly, so let me know if u want to chat or anything at all......Thank you and congrats for posting!!!!!!! You made a HUGE step! Good luck to us both!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
okay....i'm in..I have never spoken to anyone about this ever.
I'm new at this, been an addict (just realizing or just now admitting) for many years. Been on that fence a long time of quiting. Sounds like most know what I'm talking about. I have been reading and analyzing all the posts. I have many excuses. All 'worthy' of p.m.s. (poor me syndrome) for staying on the pills, but really, I'm only doing harm to myself. So it is with this post that I will decide to get off the fence and try one step. Cannot, will not, tell anyone around me. I know how I judge, I know what comes with suspicion, it never goes away. I will look to you for help and advice. I have to say, as a mom myself, I would not tell my childeren until they were adults and can maybe grasp the magnatude of addiction. It is hard enough to be a teenager in this day and age just to get up in the morning. I just don't think they have the cognative skills to understand what it means. I think they see it but aren't emotionally mature to understand it. Although, some can and some kids can't. Some can drive fine and some can't. Kind of like that. If the kids are doing fine in school, why sit back and watch those grades spiral because they're confussed and upset by our problem. We are not their friend, we are their parent. Right? Just a thought. Prattling on.
I hope to make it like the rest. Thanks for being here. Glad to have something else to think about rather than those pills.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I forgot to mention that on the way to and from the Dr. I had a long talk with my husband again about his seriousness to quit. He said he is dead serious and agrees that especially for him, tapering would be best. We bought a notebook with 2 sections in it, 1 for me and 1 for him. In it, we are writing down the exact time and date that we take a pill and the amount (ex. full 10/500 or half).....I am hoping this will also keep us on our toes about how often we take them. I am even thinking of adding what we were doing when the need to take one arises just to look as a reference to see if it is boredom, stress, actual pain, etc.........Thanks again to everyone.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
To sickcookie: Thanks I needed that laugh! (about the bangs)....wierd how our minds work......especially once they are contaminated with drugs. I appreciate the support.

To all: Thank you all for your support and kind words. I am still hanging in there. I just got back from taking hubby to Doc.....now I have pills, but I have not taken any of them...I took my 1 shortly after I woke up (actually 2 hrs. after)....and none since....and now I think that when I do want one or think I really need one for wd (since I am tapering)...I have decided to break them in half instead of taking a full one and see how that works for me. I know this is only day 2 for me, but since I think I did really well yesterday, I am just going to keep pushing myself as much as possible. I have given myself a 2 week time frame and I plan to stick to it and hopefully even be done before that! Thanks for all your support! It is helping me soooooooo much!
Helpful - 0
364605 tn?1200704975
Hi again...as far as telling the kids, I have a 16 year old son. I have been in recovery @ this point for 2 1/2 months. My partner does no think I should tell him about my addiction, but I have every intention of telling him very soon. I feel that there is a genetic component to this whole addiction thing, it has been prooven in fact. I have waited because I wanted to 1st be stronger & healthier & to also be sure I wasn't just doing it to absolve myself of guilt & to look for forgiveness from him. I don't want to do it to make myself feel better, I want to do it to empower him to protect himself from following in his mothers footsteps. He already shares way to many characteristics with me & my troubled brothers. So my advise is tell them, but wait for when you are stronger & more mentally prepared...my guess is that they already know more theen you think...I know my son does.

ruby441
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
YES, realizing you have a problem is the first step!! I also became a mother at the age of 17, and it is hard having to grow up so fast (pressure).  It is hard having this bad habit while trying to raise your family, so I think this forum will help you like it has me.  Keep posting and asking questions because there are a lot of people that care listening.  Good luck with your struggle and I know you can beat this!!!
Love, Angel 929
Helpful - 0
2
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
phoenix, AZ
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.