4 mgs is such a low dose. are you planning to taper more? you are so close to kicking this!
Wow, only 26 and dealing with this. That's tough. I didn't start being a pathetic addict until I was about 30. I know it might be hard, but think about how you felt before the habit. Go through your whole life when you were clean. As far back as you can remember...even from when you were a child. Concentrate on other people who are clean. Especially those who have never used. Isn't it amazing? They all seem to be doing fantastic without this stuff. Remember how you felt as a child? And you didn't need anything but Air back then. Just think, you could be like that again. You'll have a better high when you're clean than you ever thought of having when you were using. What do you want to do with your life? You obviously can't do it if you are using. I bet you're a great person when you aren't using. Stiffin' up that upper lip sweetie. Be strong. Good luck and God Bless.
THANK YOU! these are things I need to hear. The biggest problem is being around some of the same people who I used to use with. People like my own brother. It's hard to cut him off, like I did eveyone else you know. He's younger than me and it's hard to talk to him ciuz' he still thinks he's got it all under control. He doesnt realize how he effects me indirectly, by using, even if he thinks I don't know. His behavior tells it all. I've tried every approarch to talk to him, but I always seem to end up right back where I started, It *****. I feel so close to success with recovery but so far at that same time. It's one hoop after another.
It's called "tough love" in situations like this. No one expects you to cut your brother out of your life. But, let's face it. Hard to help him out if you can't even help yourself out. You're right. It's one hoop after another. Now you gotta jump back through those hoops, but do it backwards this time which is even harder. First things first.....gotta concentrate on what you can fix and right now that's yourself. It is 100% impossible to help and love anyone if you can't help and love yourself first, so start there. Be an example to your little bro. If he sees his older sibling succeeding, then all it can do is help him. One step at a time. Once you can help yourself just imagine how well you can try and help him. That's when the real tough love will start because then you'll have every right to get on his case about his road to recovery. So again....focus 100% on yourself. You're no good in your current state. Then you'll know when the time is right for big sis to help little bro. You can do it! Good luck!