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So here is my daily post~~Day 13

I usually try to stay pretty positive, except for yesterday... Im actually kinda bummed out today. I was productive, I got dressed and went shopping with my daughter, but it just took so much out of me, when we got home I immediately fell asleep for a bit. Its 2 weeks tomorrow and Ive read that the first two weeks are the worst, but I guess it could last even longer. I am still sleeping 4 hours tops a night, and it gets so hard to function, which makes me depressed because I was such an ocd neat freak super mom before and now I feel like a failure. I just did some research the Thomas recipe, do yall think this late in the game that it would benefit me? I realize I am just tired right now and tomorrow is a new day, its just this whole process is so grueling! my legs ache all the time and Im still freezing. Just having one of those crazy nights, and Im lonely, too. Graveyard shifts are something I will never get used to. THANKS FOR LISTENING, much love and good karma your way, Carrie
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5986700 tn?1380791380
Carrie, grats again, now is the time the real work to be done is seeping forward ...the all powerful mindf*ck! Now most if us will have to learn that the superwoman or man we thought we were on pills does not exist!!  This is a hard one for me...I'm type A personality so any kind of stagnant ..non progress...really chewed me up.  Still dies but it's a bunch better.....mostly . Le sigh.

Anyway...I don't see how it would hurt (Thomas recipe)
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Avatar universal
We are very much alike in the type A women doing it all sitch! I know that that was false energy, Im just getting scared that this is my new permanent energy level, which would really suck! I like to think once my sleep gets better, ill feel better, thanks so much for your advice and insight, I am so bone tired, I am going to attempt to go to sleep, its a school night after all! I lbe talking to you all again tomorrow , have a great night, and I bet your creative juices will start flowing soon, say a prayer that mine do too! XOXOXOXOXO Carrie
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Avatar universal
Hey Carrie, all 3 of us ladies are alike. I have OCD, i cant stop cleaning, so when we cant do it, it throws us and makes us feel useless, after all, we are women and we know how to clean and pay attention to detail.
It will come back to you, just not at the moment !!!
So many hurdles to jump in recovery, but look at the ones you've already jumped. Their huge !!!
Have s good night sleep xx
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Avatar universal
Everyone thinks there "new" energy is low energy when they are detoxing. You have so many mental/physical changes ahead. And yes, you are still detoxing and will be for a while. Please be patient w/ yourself and now is the time to checkout aftercare, yes?

Congrats on 13 days!
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Avatar universal
Yes jifmoc, its Day 14! I made it 2 weeks. I have a list of addiction counselors, Na meeting places and my EAP insurance, to call today, so that's my plan. I wanted to be halfway alive before I ventured in to all of that. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but I feel good because I feel a little better every day and some of the horror stories of sub detox do not seem to be the same for me. Ive heard of people still having the major first week symptoms for 90 days! Terrifying. Thanks for the advice, have you come off subs before? if so Id love to hear your story. XOXO Carrrie
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Avatar universal
OmG you are so dead on about the cleaning, I keep my house immaculate, I cleaned every day sometimes all day. Now I can barely deal with how it looks. My 5 yr old constantly destroys the house and she isn't fond of cleaning up her mess (coz mommy always did) so its pretty much a disaster! I had to put it in perspective tho: Am I living in filth? no. Is the world going to end if I don't mop my floors today? no . are we going to catch ecoli coz I didn't clean the bathrooms today, no.Thats how Ive been dealing with it. I just used to be on top of everything not just the house, everything. I stay home, my husband works, so I do everything else so all he has to do is worry about work, which is kinda 1950's but it works for us,Hang in ther fellow OCD friend, it will get better! XOXOX Carrie
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7689249 tn?1408018598
carrieanne you are doing AWESOME girl i to used to go go go i worked 7 days a week for 10 years in a stressful job and had all kinds of things going on and i can barely drag myself outta bed to just work the weekends i still can't figure out how i did it oh yea i was high 24/7 I'm finding i cannot do the things  that i used to and also i dont have the desire to do anything either like work out clean my house laundry keep my car clean nothing and that bothers me cuz i gained lots of wt and would NEVER allow myself do be this size no matter what we change a lot when we get sober other things take precedence over things we used to think were so important and that my friend DRIVES ME NUTS but i gotta keep telling myself i am so much better where I'm at and i am in the very early stages of recovery and it will all come together as it should when its ready and i have to be thankful for each day i make it thru clean and sober so dont be so hard on your self honey you are shining and determined you will get back to cleaning at some point but more important things are in the works right now keep doing what you are doing ........=)
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Avatar universal
Thank you Kelly, we sound very much in the same situation, I have gained some weight, and fast, but Im not moving around enough.I have totally neglected my appearance in the last two weeks, which is unlike me, It just seems to pile up, all the things we need to do and just cant. After I vacuum my house I have to lay down for a bit! I take vitamins, I am going to try the Thomas recipe, it eases withdrawal, you can put it in the search on here you should check it out, it seems to be tailor made for our symptoms. We can do this! Us warrior women need to support each other! If you don't mind me asking, what was your drug of choice and how long have you been clean? I may be able to give you some tips as I cant even count how many times Ive withdrawn off pills. Much Love Kelligirl! TTYSoon
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