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985873 tn?1407936092

Stress related addiction.

Stress, most often caused by close family members, causes me to smoke, drink & binge eat.  I've been very good at working through each of these addictions.... I stopped smoking 2 years ago (after smoking for 30 years), and haven't desired a cigerette until recently.... I can drink or not drink alcohol, I don't have to drink to have fun, I function very well with or without alcohol in my life.... I've been very good at uping my exerice and watching what I eat most days, my excess weight is coming off............. but then it happens, my family (brother, sister, husband, grown children) stress me out.  I try to be a positive person, they come to me with their problems and I try to make everything better.  I've always been everyone's rock, the person you go to if you need something, even if it's just a shoulder to lean or cry on.  Sometimes the ones I love feel like an anvil around my neck, and I just want to cut the rope and cut them out of my life (but of course I can't....).  I've told my husband how he stresses me out, he doesn't get it, and he doesn't stop.  Brother & sister, I love and I can't cut them out of my life, I can't stop them from venting to me because I'm the only one that really listens to them.  I try to be encouraging and supportive to them (the same can be said for my kids) but they suck the life out of me................ so I end up having a drink (or several), eat what ever is in sight, and now I'm tempted to go back to smoking.  What can I do?  I pray.  I walk my dog.  These things help but short of running away from home, what should I do?
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222369 tn?1274474635
All addictions are related to us addicts taking a mood altering drug to remove the feelings. Your family is using you as their drug. They dump their problems on you and you take them from them. Then, to remove the baggage they laid on you, you drink, smoke, eat, etc. I think you need to talk to a therapist...someone who can teach you to become less passive. You probably have childhood issues that need addressing. Most truly passive people do.
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Avatar universal
I gotta agree with Ga,  It is impossible to not be concerned with other's issues but one thing you can do is listen to them, offer your advice and LEARN to let it slide.  You have to learn to do this, as it will very well make you ill if you go on as you are.  It took me a very long time to learn to do this.  But you can do it,  be there for them but do not dwell on their problems and do as little as possible about it too!   We have paid our dues, done the best we can with our children, ( and Husband )  so please learn to do this,  for your own sanity.  Do go see a therapist if you need to.  Good advice if you can not cope on your own.  You don't need the drinks and drugs,  they only will lead you into a circle and ruin your life.

Best wishes :)   Post or pm me if you need to.

Ella
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Avatar universal
I don't have advice, but I will say this, and this is not to trivialize your problem....

I think a lot of people on here would envy your strength and sobriety, I know I do. You are free of opiates, cigarettes, and you can control alcohol and your eating.

You are so strong and clean, please don't let those qualities go to waste. A lot of people would trade positions with you if their biggest problem was being the shoulder for close ones to lean on.

You'll find that most of us on this board are recovering opiate addicts, and the nature of our addiction makes us depressed, socially withdrawn, numb, and inaffectionate. Because opiates make us feel this way, I wouldn't be surprised if many of us are NOT the shoulder for close ones to lean on.

I guess I would advise you to push through the stress naturally, as hard as that sounds. I envy you for being so clean and for being able to feel emotions like stress and happiness. Good luck
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Avatar universal
I agree with Ella....I am alot like you, and always want to be the fixer...Then at the end of it , I feel like i am drained...Mostly from my kids...I love them dearly, but as they get older the problems get bigger and bigger.. I have learned alot through my counsouler to try to just give the problems to god...Still not easy to do, but i am getting much better with it..
I envy you for quitting the cigs...I tried and tried, and just can't seem to kick it...But i will not give up...I hope things get better for you, and try to take care of YOU!!
god bless
R2R
Helpful - 0
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