Hey Mellie,
Thanks for the kind words. When you are ready you will know it and your Pain Team can minimize any negatives over time. Don't be Skeert. In the meantime, do what ya need to do to get relief and take care of yourself ;-)
Hi dede,
I'll be around, just on other threads as it's time for me to help some folks.
i just read this thread. i am happy for you.
when you say over and out, does that mean you are not coming back?
I've followed your journey and just want to say congratulations! I cannot even begin to fathom how hard it is to get off methadone. My pain management team suggested it to me not too long ago and because of the things I read here I knew it was not a path I wanted to travel. (Not that the other stuff for pain management is a bargain either but for me I think it would be more doable to get off if I needed to.) I don't have addiction issues but I do know that I could end up that way if I'm not hyper vigilant.
I'm sure you've helped many, many people sharing your story.
NEWSFLASH...deet deet deet
Today is Day 48 with no Sub, no narcotics. WD meds have been discontinued for around twenty days now (still using Melatonin sometimes for sleep). Alcohol (beer) consumption has been reduced at least 70% and I'm feeling good physically and mentally sans damn allergies from S. Texas weather.
I just read through this thread from the start. Wow. What a crappy path to crawl, walk and finally run. Thanks to you all for your support, help and putting up with my crap. I would not have made it otherwise. Over and Out on this thread. Bless Ya'll.
Hey Henry!
Thanks for your help. Day 28 w/no nada. No alcohol since Sunday and I'm starting to feel pretty good. Sub is sure the gift that keeps giving for some folks huh? UGH. Neva again!
I asked Jay a few minutes ago "How long has it been since I was not drunk and/or buzzed on a Friday night...". And she's still raggin on me, drunk or sober. I guess that's her job. HA!
Congrats bud!!!
I knew that you would get to the point where you were seeing the light once you nixed the alcohol!
Im so happy for you and Jay!
Keep us posted to your progress! Before you know it you will be counting in months!
:-)
Henry
El, Dude,
In answer to your question, my goal is to do what kept me clean (social alcohol only, no drugs) for twentyfive years. Workout/Train, get absorbed in my work (when I get same) and continue aftercare with my shrink. This is what I'll do differenty from what happend recently. Shrink is brand new to the mix. She has helped me a great deal w/addiction and PTSD issues I hope that works for ya.
In the meantime, no offense intended, I was 15 yrs. old when you were still Dead. Please lighten up a bit? Thanks for your concern.
Wolf, I just read your response and it looks like you didn't answer me. What are you going to do differently THIS TIME that you didn't do before?
You mention that you're looking for work and are in contact with your martial-arts instructor... that's AWESOME. Working-out has a way of sapping the energy right out of you, not leaving much time & energy for drinking & drugging! And you're right about getting drug-tested. Eventually it's going to happen, and you don't want to have to pass up a job just because you were a dumbA$$ and drank & used the night before!!!
I applaud your effort o get clean dude, but please don't try and do it like you did 30-years ago. Beers & occasional recreational-use on the weekends is not being clean, and if you delude yourself into believing that, you'll fail.
Clean is not taking ANYTHING of a mind-altering nature into your body... PERIOD. Even just 'catching a buzz' every once and a while, or drinking beers on the weekends only, isn't being clean & sober. Thinking to yourself, "Well, I'll just get a buzz every once-and-a-while. You can't expect me not to ever drink a beer again or get a buzz ever again" is dooming you to failure. Miserable failure.
I think you know this stuff though, as you've been at this for a long time.
Once again, congratulations on deciding to kick your habit.
LMNO
*And please answer my question, as you didn't... What are you going to do differently?
IB: Sometimes it IS the oncoming Train. HA!
Gnarly and el em, I was clean for 30 years sans drinking Beers on the Weekend and before this one sneaked up on me from recreational use. Prior to that I had a Heavy double Heroin/Methadone habit that I was forced to kick. I'm STUPID to have picked the Evil stuff up again. Martial Arts, working out regularly and my carreer kept me clean for that long. My 20 years of service to one company after developing a technology that most people use every day was met with a two week severance check and a restricive non compete/confidentiality agreement. All the plants that I worked with across the Nation were shut down and moved to China. Putrid place. I've ben there and could not get back to Texas quick enough.
I have an ongoing dialouge going now with my Grand Master and Master instrructors to return when I'm able. It's tough to use and work out that hard as well as I'm looking for work and will get tested at some unknown point Howzat?
Thank you all for your support and posts. I damn sure needed it. Don't forget, Thursday is Veterans Day. Please show your respect for them even it's give a handshake, look them in the eye and say "Appreciate Ya"
What are you going to do differently THIS TIME that you didn't do before?
As addicts, you know it's impossible to 'control' our drinking & druging, right? If you try and control anything, you'll fail... I promise you that. Many of us have tried an easier, softer way and tried to control our use. The easier, softer way DOES NOT work.
Sobriety is not easy. It takes work and a lot of effort. But I promise you this... your life will be better for it once it's out of your system.
So tell me what you're going to do differently...
Hey Wolf im so happy to here you set the bottle down....it is so ez to become cross addicted when detoxing...living substance free takes some getting use to but in the end it very rewarding im glad the sub finely let go of you that is some stuff theres no rhyme to reason
with it for some thay walk away with little or no withdrawals for others like you its the grind of a lifetime to get free from....im happy you made it .....I wish you all the best in your recovery
plug into some form of aftercare and work it good luck and God bless......Gnarly
Well aren't you ruffling your feathers....rofl
I am so, so happy to hear. When I heard you had the shakes yesterday it scared me.
And so you know...the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT an oncoming train. Keep up the fight and be good to yourself!!!
Day 25 no sub or Narcotics: Day 2 no Alcohol.
I'm out the end of the tunnel and standing in the light again. Tolerable minor body aches, tired and a bit fragile mentally but no big deal. Yippi Kiyay XXXX
Jay, he was a fairly heavy drinker I think) and has stopped abruptly. Keep an eye on him and watch for anything usual, like if the shaking gets worse or he seems disoriented, is nauseous, etc. Alcohol is a drug that should be monitored during withdrawal if the use was considered heavy and I am not certain what the guidelines are for that. Better to be cautious.
I got everything that can cross crossed....
He's better today. Still has the shakes but I think that's mostly due to lack of alcohol. He's had none today. Cross your fingers...
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! You sound good today wolf. Sub free for 23 days!! That is great~~ sara
Day 23 no subs, no narcotics.
I feel almost Human today. Reduced Alcohol intake over the last two days. Starting today, no alcohol through the week. Seat belt fastened, seat back and tray table in their full locked and upright position. Here we go. Yippie!
Thanks to allya'll (plural in Texan) for your thoughts and support. It makes a big difference to be able to speak with those that have had similar experiences. I look forward to the point that can begin to possibly help some folks.
I grew up Military wolf so Veterans Day always holds a special place in my heart.......We always honor our Veterans on the forum also.
PS: Thursday is Veterans Day. Please do something to honor those that lived and those that did not to enable us to live our lives without Tyranny. At least keep them in your thoughts, fly a Flag, whatever. Just show your support.....
I'm gonna try to get JayB to get on the Bike and ride to Veterans Memorial Thurs. I'm sure the HUGE place will be covered up by Family, Friends and Bikers (Patriot Guard...Look it up). Humble Thanks. WM.
The before mentioned All Saints Day Service about unglued every thing I have recnently built back up. It was all I could do to not cry my eyes out like a little girl..........
Did you see my last personal post?
Im still reading and taking this all in Jay~~~~
Wolf actually followed me to church today (I'm in the choir and go early). No matter what he says, he's still pretty shaky and I was surprised to see him out there in the pews at 11:00. Today is All Saints Sunday, and I thank God we sang the anthem early or I wouldn't have able to squeak out a sound at all. Between the sermon and communion music, I was in tears up there in the choir loft. I couldn't even manage to take communion and hid out in the Groom's room until I got myself back together. Wolf and I weren't the only ones in tears. It was pretty powerful stuff and having lost my mother in March and another good friend in the past year and a half, memories were overwhelming. The good thing is that we talked about the past few days when we got home. He had no idea how close I was to calling 911 Friday night or how close he was to being fired from this marriage.
Let's say we have a temporary truce. Yes, he's still drinking but not nearly as much. He plans to go back to his "controlled" drinking schedule tomorrow. That means no alchohol Monday through Friday at 5:00 pm. I think it's a crock, but there it is. We'll keep you posted.
My apologies in the response delay, regrettably I havent been able to hang around here as often as I would like or should have, but I received Vicki's message. (Thanks as always Vicki!)
Im in Kuwait right now, on my way out the door to the airport to head back to the US tonight, so Ive got to try and make this short... But I will be sure to check in and post back when I get back home tomorrow.
Sub is a real bear to kick, and unfortunately you are finding out right now just how much this is to be true. The tricky thing about it, which is most often misunderstood is that the degree of withdrawals experience is directly correlated to the severity of your previous active addiction (DOC, Frequency of use, and number of previous attempts to quit)
When we begin sub treatment it pretty much stops withdrawals in their tracks, and while it is true that it has its own set of withdrawals, there are studies in the works to show that the vast majority of what you are feeling now is a rebound withdrawal.
Theres some bad news and some good news here.
The bad news is... you may be in for a few more rough weeks. This is such a personal and individual experience that its hard to guage exactly how long.
I was on sub for 2.5 years at 16mgs. When I jumped off, my final dose was 3mgs, and my withdrawal process peaked at 10 days, layed steady for another week, and then VERY slowly got easier over the course of another 2 weeks. By the 4 week period I was able to sleep in 5-6 hour increments uninterrupted, and only had short bouts of that "Ants under the skin feeling"
About 1.5 months after I was feeling as good as new, so the good news is, it shouldnt get any worse, and most certainly will get better!!! Today I have been off Suboxone for 163 days, and I am loving every minute of it!
The meds that your new doc prescribed will help quite a bit, just be sure to take them as directed.
As far as the alcohol.... indeed it is a bad idea. Your brain is a storm of neuro chemicals all trying to balance themselves out, and adding a Central nervous system depressant into the mix certainly wont make things easier in the long run.
I've gotta jet (Literally) You are doing amazingly well! Hang in there and keep relying on that awesome wife you have there for support. Shes your strongest weapon combined with yourself in your recovery arsenal!!!
I'll be back here later on!
HenryS