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569676 tn?1315641158

Suboxen Screw up....

Hey everyone,

Forgive me here, But I just needed to vent and get some things off my chest...

Quick history....

Im 26 years old currently working as an international flight attendant.  I was a 2nd year medical student until my drug use screwed that up for me.  My history includes IV morphine, Fentanyl, demerol, and Oxymorphone.... I was in a methadone program and doing great until I started abusing that.  I was on Mdone for 5 years with a maximum prescribed dose of 600 mgs daily.  

I started suboxone on March 25th, 2008  And it was a godsend!  I was inducted at 16mgs daily and managed with the help of therapy and my doc to get down to 1mg daily as of three weeks ago.

I was on a trip in Budapest Hungary (My home away from home as I spend around 20 days a month there) and wd's hit me out of no where.... it was aweful.  I had to work a 14 hour flight the next day and couldnt get to sleep.  Even my ambien didnt help.... So I did the worst thing I could... Self medicated to 3mgs.  Took the wd's away and gave me a helluva buzz.

Fast foreward to today....  Im on my ten days off this month, and now up to around 8mgs a day, and still getting buzzed. DAMNIT

Im so disappointed in myself and really feel that i have let a lot of people down.  Im afraid im never gunna get back on track.  Ive got a doc appointment next week to talk about this mess i got myself in.  

Thanks for listening guys!

Henry
5 Responses
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228936 tn?1249094248
bad advise to start over on sub. Just try to taper as quicly and safely as you can and try to get some valium and imodium for after. all the best
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
prayers are with u...talk to ur doctor..make a plan and taper on off..try to break the cycle//and get some outside support for urself
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Our addict minds always think more is better be it advil ,tylenol, dilaudid and even sub. You can taper quickly. You did it before,,,,  hell you were on 600mg of methadone. You can for sure taper down where you were on subs. Go to a mirror, tell yourself that you can do it! Take a good look at yourself and KNOW you can beat this. Why not look directly at yourself and reiterate what you would tell anyone else on here. Doesen't your future plans include getting back into medical school? Not sure if I am confusing u with someone else. If that is your plan, you will be the best doctor b/c you understand addiction. Do you know how many doctors, lawyers, nurses etc are addicts? You can do this hon. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't keep using more for the buzz or you will run out early and then be in big time trouble! God Bless sweet Henry. I will pray for you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ditto to what bandnmom said.  Just recommit and start over --- -- I know how tough it is --  most of us on here do.  Please keep posting.  All the best.
Helpful - 0
371980 tn?1276740809
Henry,
Dont beat yourself up! I know while you were over seas working you had alot going on!!! Just pick yourself back up, brush yourself off and get back on track!
You know were r all here to help!
Helpful - 0
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