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Substance Abuse

I was prescribed Lorazepam I/2 mg ,my Doctor to combat,depression,family ,career.Well I climbed the career ladder,also the 1 /2 mg is now 8 mg after 15 years.I also take medicines for Diab 2,and hyprtension,and was a notorious alcoholic.I am retired now,the Alcohol is minute now,but though I tried twice a Psychiatrics advice to detxify,effects were near death.I take the drug for sleeping.I am sincerely wish to get rid of this habit.I welcome
any worth while advise by Doctors/similar sufferers.
I am 64 now ,and does regular excercise,aprt from this ,fit.
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Avatar universal
I'm really sorry and very embarrassed. I didn't mean to place that comment there.
But I have had a loved one in the same situation. It was hard for her aswell but what she did was exactly "sadinmichigan" said. She shaved a little off each time she felt ready. She swore by hiking and making sure to eat regularly (I know it sounds like a broken record but she felt then, her body never felt "deprived" which was her savior).
There is hope and I've seen her in the same place you are and all she did was take it day by day, do not rush, forgive herself , and just work on making every other place of her life healthy.
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Avatar universal
I'm not sure if this is the kind of thing I can post but I just need help from people more knowledgeable about this....

I just saw this site and any information or advice or just someone to listen would be much appreciated.
Its hard to finally wake up and realize the "life" you were living was full of lies and deceit and just ghosts of fantasies of an amazing life.
The man I had met 2 years ago...We had gone on a date and listed all of our flaws. Played "relationship chicken" if you will. He used to have a severe coke addiction where he had hit rock bottom. When I met him, he had been 11 years clean and stayed away from any triggers. I believed I was safe and he was the person I was looking for.
I fell in love with him. And then, he gave into coke after being pushed over and over at one party. This isn't the sniffing that I'm more used to knowing about, this is the needle in the arm. He said that was the only time and "the look in my eyes destroyed him and he would continue his recovery"...I believed him. And I would believe him. over and over again, each time, he seemed more regretful. Tears in his eyes, signing agreements, taking my name off of agreements (for safety), threatening suicide and locking himself in the bathroom with a gun (I caught on to that one the second time around). But then he would use again. Abandoning me in a city 250 kms from home, pawning my electronics with the excuse of "taking them to get fixed", leaving me surrounded by his friends expecting him and I can't give them any answers of why he's not showing up, leaving the city to use when I've already been admitted into the hospital in agony with our daughter (yes, I became pregnant, b/c failed but I will never regret her), And I promised this would never be her life. He used once since she was born. I told him there were no more chances. I thought this was rock bottom. I didn't see how someone could leave this beautiful angel that was trusting him. This was his big chance, the last chance to turn everything around and have a family.
He used again. I left with my daughter up to my mothers (which by happenstance, is only a block away from our home). It's been almost 2 months since I've been gone. I've let him see her regularly (he's not a bad dad, just has a demon that I can't let affect her), he's been attending meetings everyday for 1 month and half now.
I've listed everything that led me to take her away, I never wanted a broken family but I need to protect her from what I've gone through. The times he was sober, he was caring for me when I was sick, supporting me when I was too ill to work (why I ended up in the hospital), financially supporting us when she was born, being romantic and loving in general.

I'm sorry for the long post, I guess I should have gotten to the bottomline, just wanted to rant.
He says he's finally waken up and he'll give me my space. He knows he hurts me and doesn't expect me back right away. He wants his family back. He has sponsors and is dedicated to his meetings.
I've heard everything before. Only difference is that he has been going to his meetings everyday and he does talk to his sponsors everynight (as I've been told).
I'm scared.
I loved him, but I can't take that risk with my daughter, I want a family and he is a great dad. I'm torn. Either this is his recovery and we can have a family. Or I've fallen for it again.

HELP PLEASE. I just need words

IS THIS THE RECOVERY OR IS THIS THE MANIPULATION??
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am so sorry about your plight with benzos...I have had some experience with these.I was at one point up to @5-7 mg of xanax per day for a couple of years..I know that it is obviously much harder as the years go by...the only thing you can do that I am aware of is very very slowly wean off of them..I did that with much success..I have taken xanax for @7 yrs total..it got out of hand ...I weaned myself off of them by decreasing my dose just 1/4 mg of my daily dose and held there for 2-3 weeks and decreased again 1/4mg..and so on...you however have been on them much longer and may need to take 1/8mg off your daily dose and hole there for several weeks and then decrease again..etc...you will know if it is too much or too fast..but no matter, that is the way you must do it..get a razor blade out if you must and shave little by little..you can not rush this..but eventually you will be able to be off them...talk to your Dr, about it...good luck to you..this can be done..
Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
Welcome to the forum. Benzos always need to be tapered slowly off them. Is this what the Dr had you do? I am not as familiar with them as opiates but others here do have experience with them. They will be on probably in the am.
Also, there are no Drs on this forum
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